An Open Letter From the Devil
By Don Wildmon
Hello. This is your friend the devil writing. I want to thank you for following my suggestions in the past. You have been a big help in what I’m trying to build. Let me remind you of some guidelines to follow. Your support has been a big help in the past and will help even more in the future.
First, never bring up, discuss, or preach on “controversial” topics such as abortion, pornography, gambling, drinking, sexual immorality, or any such private sins. Put your emphasis only on corporate sins. You can do so much more for me by doing that. Blame government and big business. Forget individual responsibility.
Don’t worry about the moral character of our leaders. Just rate them on the job they are doing. Again I say, deal only with corporate sins, never with individual sins.
Don’t get involved with controversial issues. Let someone else do it. Your plate is already full.
Always remember that there is no such thing as absolute truth. All things are relative.
Place spiritual issues at the bottom level of life.
Depend on the government to do things for you. Let them raise your children, educate your children, and train your children in right and wrong. Never criticize the social programs of government. Their experts are far more capable of solving problems than you are. Common sense can never compete against bureaucracy.
Never speak out on any issue using your Christian values as a perspective.
Don’t get involved in politics. Don’t run for office. Don’t give any money or time to those who do. Don’t let your Christian faith guide you in making your choices. Remember, we must keep the church and state separate. It says so in our Constitution, you know.
Keep listening to the liberal media. Let them fill your mind with their reporting day after day. By doing this, you will eventually come to agree with them. We all know they know what is best for our society. Remember that anyone who disagrees with them or tries to give a balanced perspective is nothing more than a member of a vast right-wing conspiracy. The liberal media can and will provide you with all the information you need to make the decision they know is best.
Remember the only thing necessary to be a good Christian is to go to church when you can, give a little money if you can. Remember that your faith should be a private matter between you and your church. Never try to apply it anywhere else.
You must remember to be tolerant of all others who think and live differently than you. Their lifestyle is just as good as any other lifestyle. All lifestyles are different but equal. Don’t get involved in any kind of effort with any of the right-wing groups. They are oppressive.
Continue to ignore the Bible. It is an outdated book full of bad concepts. It is, you know, only a story of myths concocted thousands of years ago to keep the masses in line, to favor the male hierarchy and those in power. Like our Constitution, it is now out of date and useless.
There are many other suggestions I want to share with you later. I will write again. But for the time being, just keep following these. It will do a world of good for our common cause.