When people leave churches - Pastor relationships

rks7777

Well-Known Member
This thread may not be what the title indicates. I’ve gone to my home church for over 50 years. While not a perfect church (obviously, I attend!), it’s sound theologically. I don’t agree with everything said from the pulpit. But by and large the teaching is solid. Having attended for so long I know a lot of people who have left the church for other churches. To me it’s not a problem. If you feel you are not growing in your walk ir some other issue it’s ok with me. We are all the church. Now I will get to the issue. My cousin left the church about 10 years ago. She was very close with the pastor. I wouldn’t say they had a falling out but they drifted apart and she started attending another church. She’s very, very sick with cancer. Without a miracle she will pass soon. My pastor, her ex-pastor and friend, has not visited her in the hospital. This troubles me. Am I being unfair and expecting too much from my pastor?
 

mattfivefour

Well-Known Member
Without knowing all of the dynamics of the original situation, I cannot offer an opinion. As a pastor I know that, fortunately very rarely, some relationships can become toxic and separation and avoidance may become the only sound choice. Hopefully, however, through prayer and a deepening surrender to God, a Christian relationship can grow again.. Pray for your pastor and the situation.
 

lightofmylife

Blessed Hope-Prepare To Fly!
Without knowing all of the dynamics of the original situation, I cannot offer an opinion. As a pastor I know that, fortunately very rarely, some relationships can become toxic and separation and avoidance may become the only sound choice. Hopefully, however, through prayer and a deepening surrender to God, a Christian relationship can grow again.. Pray for your pastor and the situation.
I agree good advice here are some scriptures on reconciliation in the https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/reconciliation/
 

rks7777

Well-Known Member
Without knowing all of the dynamics of the original situation, I cannot offer an opinion. As a pastor I know that, fortunately very rarely, some relationships can become toxic and separation and avoidance may become the only sound choice. Hopefully, however, through prayer and a deepening surrender to God, a Christian relationship can grow again.. Pray for your pastor and the situation.
I’m glad you responded. I was hoping you would. It just makes me sad when I think about how their relationship deteriorated. My Pastor, her first Pastor, led her to Christ. I know, like in a divorce, it’s a 2 way street. I’ll keep praying. Thanks again for your comment.
 

daygo

Well-Known Member
I’m glad you responded. I was hoping you would. It just makes me sad when I think about how their relationship deteriorated. My Pastor, her first Pastor, led her to Christ. I know, like in a divorce, it’s a 2 way street. I’ll keep praying. Thanks again for your comment.
It is a shame will pray myself.
 

GotGrace

Well-Known Member
This thread may not be what the title indicates. I’ve gone to my home church for over 50 years. While not a perfect church (obviously, I attend!), it’s sound theologically. I don’t agree with everything said from the pulpit. But by and large the teaching is solid. Having attended for so long I know a lot of people who have left the church for other churches. To me it’s not a problem. If you feel you are not growing in your walk ir some other issue it’s ok with me. We are all the church. Now I will get to the issue. My cousin left the church about 10 years ago. She was very close with the pastor. I wouldn’t say they had a falling out but they drifted apart and she started attending another church. She’s very, very sick with cancer. Without a miracle she will pass soon. My pastor, her ex-pastor and friend, has not visited her in the hospital. This troubles me. Am I being unfair and expecting too much from my pastor?
It is difficult to give an opinion with so many unknowns.

Remember Pastors are men with a different calling than the rest of us can understand. We can put them on a pedestal and expect them to perform perfectly. They’re not going to. Leave that Pastor to God the One who knows ALL about the situation. If that Pastor was totally in the wrong the Lord will deal with him far better than anyone under his leadership ever could.

I feel someone in the family should make sure your cousin’s present church is ministering to her. Just my opinion.

Bless you for your love and concern during your cousin’s terrible illness.
 

Pat

Well-Known Member
This thread may not be what the title indicates. I’ve gone to my home church for over 50 years. While not a perfect church (obviously, I attend!), it’s sound theologically. I don’t agree with everything said from the pulpit. But by and large the teaching is solid. Having attended for so long I know a lot of people who have left the church for other churches. To me it’s not a problem. If you feel you are not growing in your walk ir some other issue it’s ok with me. We are all the church. Now I will get to the issue. My cousin left the church about 10 years ago. She was very close with the pastor. I wouldn’t say they had a falling out but they drifted apart and she started attending another church. She’s very, very sick with cancer. Without a miracle she will pass soon. My pastor, her ex-pastor and friend, has not visited her in the hospital. This troubles me. Am I being unfair and expecting too much from my pastor?
Perhaps he doesn't even know of the situation. A talk with him reminding him of how important he was in leading her to the Lord and how thankful she is knowing where she is going shortly would prompt him to make a visit or call. Blessings.
 

rks7777

Well-Known Member
Perhaps he doesn't even know of the situation. A talk with him reminding him of how important he was in leading her to the Lord and how thankful she is knowing where she is going shortly would prompt him to make a visit or call. Blessings.
First, sadly my cousin went home to be with the Lord last night. Only 58. The pain is on our side. My pastor did know about her battle with cancer. Not trying to point a finger at my pastor. He’s in a tough spot and is held to a higher standard than I. It just made me sad.
 

lightofmylife

Blessed Hope-Prepare To Fly!
First, sadly my cousin went home to be with the Lord last night. Only 58. The pain is on our side. My pastor did know about her battle with cancer. Not trying to point a finger at my pastor. He’s in a tough spot and is held to a higher standard than I. It just made me sad.
rks7777, sorry:bighug for the loss of your cousin she is with :fish now in no pain. One day all believers will be with:fish and reunited with loved ones. I :pray you find comfort in knowing this.
 

Spartan Sprinter 1

Formerly known as Shaun
First, sadly my cousin went home to be with the Lord last night. Only 58. The pain is on our side. My pastor did know about her battle with cancer. Not trying to point a finger at my pastor. He’s in a tough spot and is held to a higher standard than I. It just made me sad.
Condolences to you and your family regarding the passing of your cousin
 

CaryAnn

Active Member
First, sadly my cousin went home to be with the Lord last night. Only 58. The pain is on our side. My pastor did know about her battle with cancer. Not trying to point a finger at my pastor. He’s in a tough spot and is held to a higher standard than I. It just made me sad.
I'm sorry for your family but for your cousin I rejoice. She is now out of all pain and is with her savior.
As for your pastor, never hold one person to a higher standard then another. He is a man and as a man he will do things that we will not approve. You are not privileged to the fall out of your cousin and your pastor so you really don't know if he made inquiries about your cousin and was told not to visit or if the rift was so bad that visiting not a good idea for your cousin. Don't be sad. Let it rest in the hands of God for He knows everything that you don't and He will heal all hurts at a later time.
 

Footsteps

Well-Known Member
There are situations that will not be resolved
on Earth. God knows them all and will initiate
reconciliation, forgiveness, and understanding among His children in the next life. There will be
many “Had I only known”s and “How could I
not have seen that?”s.
 
Top