What makes a....."man" ?

Ducati

Well-Known Member
How does a man feel like he's a man when he's always looked at like a boy ?
Personally speaking - I have many "child like" ways , but I'm not "childish" in any way.
I have many attributes that would be considered in most eyes to have never grown up or out of ; like , I like video games and pizza - would rather have a hot dog over a steak - would hang a poster up instead of a picture - lay under a Steelers blanket instead of bed covering - I like candy - ware a t-shirt instead of a polo. (pretty sad)
I'm 50 years old (but look much younger) , work 60 hours a week, maintain two yards every weekend, try my best to provide and stay afloat , and yet I'm looked at and often treated / disrespected due to my "child like" attributes and ways....?

What does a man have to do to be treated and looked at like a man ? Get some tattoos , drink some beer , stop taking a bath , start smoking ?

Sometimes ya just want to say *@#*!! to everyone.
 

jonshaff

Fellow Servant
I thought of this verse when I read your post

1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I know for me personally I stopped doing certain things, not to prove anything to anyone, but so that I could have more time to spend with my Lord and my family. I traded softball for sermon prep and video games for devotion time. For me it wasn't about growing up but growing in the Lord.
 

Mustang

Well-Known Member
I've done all those except the tatoo's didn't help one bit :lol: Don't worry about what anyone else is thinking. I learned long ago some people will always look for the worst in others and will rub it in. They don't seem happy unless they are talking about someone or trying to meddle into their life.
The old saying, "Misery loves company" is very true, don't let it be your slogan. I'd say your a kid at heart, so am I, I still play video games and toys, so what, I know who I am, a 52 year old child?
To some, maybe, but I don't care.
My life has been a journey of learning, I still am and always will be. I'm just glad the lord let me live long enough to wise up and get saved.
 

Ducati

Well-Known Member
I think the childish things in that verse are refereing to mature mind sets and spiritual growth. I hear your heart and I get it , I've pondered over that verse many times.

Appreciate you both.

I may play a video game once a month, if that...I just ain't got the time really. But I still have an Xbox and I enjoy it when I can. My eating habits or taste never really grew up. Some things I just don't like...period. Always being accused of eating like a kid and my decorating like a teen. It's pretty stupid that people feel like these things are worthy of pointing out but they still do.
I feel my walk and knowledge of the Word gets scrutinized because of these attributes. I'm just not taken seriously in Biblical matters.
Makes no sense to me.
 

jonshaff

Fellow Servant
I think the childish things in that verse are refereing to mature mind sets and spiritual growth. I hear your heart and I get it , I've pondered over that verse many times.

Appreciate you both.

I may play a video game once a month, if that...I just ain't got the time really. But I still have an Xbox and I enjoy it when I can. My eating habits or taste never really grew up. Some things I just don't like...period. Always being accused of eating like a kid and my decorating like a teen. It's pretty stupid that people feel like these things are worthy of pointing out but they still do.
I feel my walk and knowledge of the Word gets scrutinized because of these attributes. I'm just not taken seriously in Biblical matters.
Makes no sense to me.


The verse I quoted is actually referring to the fullness of the knowledge of the Word of God...Knowing even as we are known...Paul is using it as an analogy of how He had grown up and compares it to knowing the Lord. Some see that as the complete Word of God. Others say It will be when we receive glorified bodies and are in His presence.

either way, it's food for thought.

As far as your original question....

Christ likeness is what makes a man a man.
 

araj54

Well-Known Member
Ducati, it sounds like you have the personal responsibility part of life in hand.
I wouldn't be allowing peer pressure to influence or concern you.
Instead, focus on who you are In Christ, allowing the Word to be your guide and the
Holy Spirit to be your teacher. Starting each day in prayer is absolutely essential
to our spiritual growth, even if it's simply admitting that you can't do this thing called life
on your own, and asking our Father's wisdom and guidance each day.
 

ladon

Well-Known Member
Still....."what makes a man ....a man ?
Brother that is a hard question. To myself being a man has nothing to do with looks. Personally being a man to me is a person whom love Jesus and puts him first. If he has a family he is willing to do anything to support them in all manners physically and spiritually. To be willing to get down on your face before the Lord when times are tough and good. Be willing to listen to a brother in Christ in need and lift him up in prayer and under girt him. Which i will for you. This is just some things that come to my mind. Praying for you to have strength and don't let the ugly Devil get you down. Your brother in Christ LaDon
 

LeastOfAll

Well-Known Member
I hear you bro. We all struggle with "respect issues" inwardly and outwardly all the time. Sounds to me like the Holy Spirit might be doing some refining work in your life and attitude. Keep you heart open to the Lord's voice and pray unceasingly about this. Anyone can be called a "man" by worldly standards. We are called to be men by Godly standards.:thumbup
 

canman32

Well-Known Member
Being a man has nothing to do with how much money you make, how old you are, or your physical build. It has EVERYTHING to do with being there for your family, serving God before man, and being willing to STAND for what's right even when it means standing ALONE. If, you enjoy the things you listed, then enjoy them.
 

111

Member
A few years back, my very young son was about to enter boot camp at Camp Pendleton in California. In conjunction with this, we had a high school graduation party - going away event for him and I asked a local pasture to join us and give the blessing before we had our dinner. This pastor happened to be a retired Lieutenant Colonel. In his prayer he prayed that the " Marines" would make my son a marine but that" God "would make him a man. At first this raised an eyebrow on my part. Wasn't this the same thing? How could you become a marine and not be a man? Well the LC's wisdom on this became apparent after boot camp and so forth. When my son came back from a tour as a machine gunner in Aghganistan I assumed "That will make a man out of him!" Nope. I felt as though dealing with my son was like talking to a 16 year old again. He was actually losing ground. Perhaps it was the way he dealt with what had gone on over there, I just don't know.
Today he is starting a family, taking on responsibility for his own actions, and so on. I feel he is more of a man. He is getting to know God more and more and is gaining ground.

I think it is Christ whom lives in us that makes a man, not the uniform we wear. If folks knew of my personnel weaknesses I doubt they would show me the respect or admiration they do. You see It is Christ in me they love. As for the part that is me, you can throw it in a dung heep where it belongs.
 

ThomasR

New Member
Hey Ducati

I know pretty much what you mean - in your first post you pretty much described me... I am 50, love video games as spending time with my boys and I have a child-like attitude to many things, though I am not childish.
My answer: Many people grow up and lose their innocence and become so embroiled in the day to day "struggle" of survival, having a job or 2 to provide, pressure from society to be and act in a way etc etc ..... and they forget to have fun, or as Jesus said to have life and more abundant life.... in that I love the Lord, am a devoted Christian, read and study the Bible and a born again believer longing to see and be with the Lord. Having said that, I refuse to get entrapped in day to day worries of this world; for the Lord has and always will supply and provide for my needs etc... He says so in His Word.
I love my wife and try with the help of the Holy Spirit to be a good husband and friend to her always, placing her needs and desires before mine. I also try my best to be a good example to my boys; being a father, a man, being fair yet firm and being true to my word- never going back on promises made to them and when I cant, I apologise to them about that. At work I get into situations that can flip your lid but I deliberately try my hardest not to react impulsive or in front of other staff..... or when needing to give answers on certain issues, I first think them over or pray over it before hand. In all these things I always try to make light hearted jokes, to encourage laughter, to diffuse tense circumstances and to change stressful atmosphere into calmness and then speak the truth always. I love joking and people know me like this, yet I can be earnest about topics when needed. I try never to demand anything from anyone - I always say I respectfully request something or someones coopereation......
This is just some areas but in being who I am people like me, have confidence in asking my help or advice, even non- christians ask me about my belief and how I can be so calm or happy when things around me seem to be falling apart; then I witness to them or as I am lead to speak.
In all these things I am child-like in my approach- not childish - and I am blessed because of it, in my career, my spiritual life, my family life and my marriage. Being who I am - who God made me to be - a new creation; my life is an example and I give Him all the glory and thank Him every day, for everything that I am blessed with, and not just material blessings...... my health, my wife, my kids, my work, my finances, my faith in Him, my salvation, eternal life that I already have now, you name it all....... I give thanks to Him continuously and yet I laugh, and joke and am playful and enjoy my life as I believe God wants me to......
Now, after having said all the above - I believe that is what it is to be a man - knowing who you are in Christ and living that life!
PS Take David in the Bible, he danced nearly completely naked before the Lord, giving thanks for the victory he had received from God...... so much so that a family member tried to rebuke him for it....... but he just carried on to do so in thanksgiving and praise to the Lord!
 

Carl

Well-Known Member
God knows how I got my personality. I can guess at some of the reasons, but it is God that does the polishing!

However I am a sinner saved by grace! If I was the only person alive Jesus would have still died for me because He loves me so much!

My brother's wife hates everyone in my extended family. Couple of weeks ago my brother emailed me and said to stay out of his life. That really hurt but what do I do? I will let God deal with that hurt.

Have a real friend that let me live at his house for a few years. One day while we were re-plumbing the furnace he said some really hurtful things to me. I kept on working and prayed to God that I didn't deserve what he said and for Him to deal with it. A couple of weeks later my friend appologized to me!

We have a Wonder Working God!
 

Richard the Lion

Well-Known Member
Physical strength, stamina, real courage, loyalty (to work, family, friends), self-control (of emotions, desires), honesty, speaking the truth even if it offends, generosity. And if you criticize or give advice to someone, you better have a stake in that issue, something to lose, too, if you end up being wrong.
 

Richard the Lion

Well-Known Member
Physical strength, stamina, real courage, loyalty (to work, family, friends), self-control (of emotions, desires), honesty, speaking the truth even if it offends, generosity. And if you criticize or give advice to someone, you better have a stake in that issue, something to lose, too, if you end up being wrong.
Your WORD. If you promise to do it, do it.
 

Richard the Lion

Well-Known Member
Being a man has nothing to do with how much money you make, how old you are, or your physical build. It has EVERYTHING to do with being there for your family, serving God before man, and being willing to STAND for what's right even when it means standing ALONE. If, you enjoy the things you listed, then enjoy them.

NO cowardice! Exactly.
 

Dave

Well-Known Member
How does a man feel like he's a man when he's always looked at like a boy ?
Personally speaking - I have many "child like" ways , but I'm not "childish" in any way.
I have many attributes that would be considered in most eyes to have never grown up or out of ; like , I like video games and pizza - would rather have a hot dog over a steak - would hang a poster up instead of a picture - lay under a Steelers blanket instead of bed covering - I like candy - ware a t-shirt instead of a polo. (pretty sad)
I'm 50 years old (but look much younger) , work 60 hours a week, maintain two yards every weekend, try my best to provide and stay afloat , and yet I'm looked at and often treated / disrespected due to my "child like" attributes and ways....?

What does a man have to do to be treated and looked at like a man ? Get some tattoos , drink some beer , stop taking a bath , start smoking ?

Sometimes ya just want to say *@#*!! to everyone.

I know this thread is old but here is my insight, I feel that no matter what the world will judge you harshly so I personally try not to pay attention. I know this from experience because like the Bible says, the world loves its' own and will never understand or accept you. Everyone's idea of what makes a Man a Man is different. If you feel there is something about you that you need to work on then thats what you need to work on. Alot of people in my past look down on me because I am still a virgin (nothing wrong with it, have not found the right person yet), never been married (again have not found the right person), always wants to belittle me because I do not think or act the way they do (I am not of the world.) I used to live with my Parents till I had enough saved up for a place of my own (They think as soon as you turn 18 then you have to get your own place and loose your virginity as quickly as possible). People will judge you how they want and the Bible says judge not unless be judged yourself. Whats important is to become the Man you feel you are meant to be and not what the World wants you to be.

Your hobbies are your hobbies.
 

Batman

Well-Known Member
Being a man and putting off childish things really doesn't have anything to do with t-shirts, or video games, junk food, or anything of the sort so you are definitely ok if you have grown into the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual mature man you are called to be. I think you are on the right track.

One other point is to not give in to sin and any desire to say *@#*!! to everyone and lose testimony.

I think all of us men need to find adult Christian males that share some or many of our personal choices in dress, music, games, food and enjoy some fellowship; but don't cross the lines into sin.
 

seated with Christ

Well-Known Member
I have struggled practically all my life when my mother was living because she kept me from being a man. She would criticize be in front of house guess, the time came when if I wanted to do something that I'd just do it and I gain freedom and Manhood that way. She had a lot of baggage and hang ups.
 

Son of the Rock

Well-Known Member
The Seven Manly Virtues that I know of is:
1. Honesty
2. Loyalty
3. Honor
4. Strength
5. Masculinity
6. Courage
7. Fillial Piety (respect for family and elders)

This about covers it. It doesn't matter if you wear khakis, shorts, sweats, slacks, Button-down or T-shirts, or shave or don't shave. As we put on the 'New Man', being transformed by Jesus, we become more unique, cut off from 'the worldly herd' and allowed to become the Son or Daughter of the Lord that Jesus wants us to be. No matter how old we get in linear earth years we are still sons of the Lord Jesus.

May we also forgive all in our lives who need forgiveness, it may take several of those manly virtues to do so.
 
Top