I couldn’t agree more!I am chiming in very late on this thread. I was thinking a bit about the war on God given gender attributes, and one of the things that gays imitate about women and lesbians lose is the business of looking attractively feminine.
There is a world of difference between being attractive, meaning making the best of things within the constraints of your personal life (budget, time etc) without taking away from priorities (taking time for reading God's Word, prayer, doing the work God has in front of you each day)
being what the world calls "sexy" meaning allure for the sake of drawing men's attention. That would include dressing to cause envy in other women (I can afford Chanel, you can't sort of attitude or I'm up to the minute in fashion, sucks to be you attitude.) That is another negative drawing attention.
But there is another extreme and that is drawing negative attention by being obviously non feminine. (the obvious attention grabbing weird hair and clothing and lack of makeup that borders on the scary--the look that goes into no makeup ever, and almost seeks out the least feminine or attractive clothes)
I see the balance as not scaring the multitudes off of Christianity, and being a glory to my husband, not embarrassing him or becoming (heaven forfend) alluring to other men. Modest but not weird.
That as several of you point out is very much a cultural thing, and local norms may vary. I like the YMMV acronym for "your mileage may vary".
Due to my auto immune issues, my eyebrows are almost gone, and I look sick without a little help so I view makeup and good colour choice in clothing as essential to my husband's mental health, not to mention mine, all while reminding the enemy that while I may be losing a health battle here and there, I'm still here fighting. It's almost like me sending a message that I'm not losing the war at all, not no how, I'm still kicking, serving God and if the enemy stole my eyebrows I'm not taking it lying down!
So I put my makeup on every morning, replacing those eyebrows, evening out the skin with a little powder on top of Olay sunscreen (no need to deteriorate any faster than I have to). I stick a nice neutral blush on to replace the colour I've lost, beige eyeshadow to hide the dark marks and redness, mascara to enhance the lashes I have left, and lipstick to give back normal looking colour. When I'm done, I look nice but it's not the kind of makeup that sells well in ads because unless you knew what I look like without it, you wouldn't think I have any on at all. At night I carefully remove it and put good retinol cream on from Neutrogena (cheap & effective). I get the makeup from Clinique and Estee Lauder to send another message that I'm supporting Jewish business, especially the Lauder group so in your face BDS movement.
I wasn't graying attractively, so I dye the hair a shade that still looks normal with my skin and age. I get a regular cut so I look like I take care of myself which keeps my husband happy, because he doesn't like it when I skimp on hair cuts. I used to do it myself with sewing shears and a vacuum cleaner to hold the hair up and out checking for off cut areas, but I found a gal that does it for a bargain rate, and dh is happier.
I'm careful with colour choice because some colours next to my face make me look better, and some definitely the opposite. Since I refuse to look any sicker than I have to, I employ more feminine weapons and use good colour that looks good on me.
I choose classic clothing that never exposes extra flesh partly for modesty but also because those clothes are sunscreen, and as with the face cream, no need to wrinkle out and get freckles in places I don't have to. I find by basing my clothes on neutrals with pops of happy colour it keeps my dh cheery and me too. Plus it's easy on the budget.
I always wear a little jewelry that goes with the outfit of the day, it's often earrings from the clearance racks at my favourite clothing emporiums but I choose it like the makeup and clothes to emphasize that I'm not a man, I'm a woman, and I like to look nice for dh. I choose scarves often to help preserve my clothes (a chic form of a bib if you ask me) as well as add a soft feminine touch of colour and print to my very neutral classic outfits.
I want to emphasize that it's ok to be feminine. We don't have to do the christian version of the burka and almost erase ourselves from existence. I notice and deeply approve of the feminine prints and cuts that some of the ladies on this thread use. It's going to be different for everyone. Someone may dress all in grey, and that can look stunning too. I wear pants often, but they are never too tight, and always in a dark neutral and classic cut and fabric.
My bottom line (pun intended) is that it should glorify God first and foremost and for those of us with husbands, it should please them. This means there isn't one look fits all. Nor a single makeup technique or hairdo that works for all but in all things we do glorify God by showing that we are thankful we were created female. And that means a feminine modest joyous approach to our appearance.