Unbelieving Husband Conflicts

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
I'm really struggling being married to an unbeliever. I came to Christ after we were already married and it has been source of contention ever since. I'm not surprised as I know Jesus brought a sword dividing households, but it is still difficult. As I become more bold in my faith and start spreading the Gospel message, he wants me to stop and feels embarrassed if he's around. He's currently upset with me because at his coworker's get together yesterday, a guest was mocking Jesus Christ with what she wore about him. I went to a private room, called my friend to pray with me. I then went and spoke to the mocker why she wore something so offensive about Jesus who loves her so much. I told her that Jesus is real and wants to know her. She gave me some attitude, got up, and left the house. The host then came to speak to me to tell me that religion is not appropriate to talk about at this Christmas party (go figure).

My husband just kept hiding out and insisted we leave secretly. I was beyond hurt and upset. He's still giving me the cold shoulder today stating I avoided him and shouldn't have said anything. What is the most upsetting is seeing Jesus Christ mocked like that. I couldn't stop crying all the way home last night to see the sheer hatred for him and knowing that my husband thinks just like all of them. I'm getting teary just writing this now.

I've been praying for him for years and am praying for God to help me forgive him for all the times he's abandoned me even prior to my conversion. He has a tendency to let others insult me and not come to my defense. I know he is lost and because he doesn't know God acts this way, which isn't shocking to me, but still hurts. I guess I am writing this to share my sadness and struggles of this marriage. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I have fantasized about him leaving me to focus on Jesus Christ. With God in my life, I need nothing else. Any other wives out there alone in their marriages?
 

moosejive

Well-Known Member
What a very hard situation to deal with...:( :hugPraying for God to soften your husband’s heart to hear the words for salvation. I prayed for my brother for 20 years without any visible signs that it made any difference. He always received a Christian book as well as another gift at birthdays and Christmas. He did finally turn to Christ and accept Him. I found out then that he had kept the books, but never read them until then. He said they were helping him by explaining details about Christianity.

In our time, 20 years is a long time, in God’s time it’s probably a blink of an eye. Don’t lose hope and keep planting the seeds, others may come along and water and weed them. Someone else may come along and reap the harvest, but they wouldn’t have been able to if the seeds hadn’t been planted in the first place. :pray:thumbup
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
Thank you all for the sweet prayers and for taking the time to comment. It means so much to know that I'm not alone. So many times I just cry to God pleading for his soul or for him to leave me. I just want out of the marriage so badly to be able to just focus on God with no distractions. Paul wasn't kidding when he said there will be problems in marriage.

I've poured over verses looking for any way to separate. Oh well.
 

Anewcreationinjesus

Come Lord Jesus!!!!!!
I'm really struggling being married to an unbeliever. I came to Christ after we were already married and it has been source of contention ever since. I'm not surprised as I know Jesus brought a sword dividing households, but it is still difficult. As I become more bold in my faith and start spreading the Gospel message, he wants me to stop and feels embarrassed if he's around. He's currently upset with me because at his coworker's get together yesterday, a guest was mocking Jesus Christ with what she wore about him. I went to a private room, called my friend to pray with me. I then went and spoke to the mocker why she wore something so offensive about Jesus who loves her so much. I told her that Jesus is real and wants to know her. She gave me some attitude, got up, and left the house. The host then came to speak to me to tell me that religion is not appropriate to talk about at this Christmas party (go figure).

My husband just kept hiding out and insisted we leave secretly. I was beyond hurt and upset. He's still giving me the cold shoulder today stating I avoided him and shouldn't have said anything. What is the most upsetting is seeing Jesus Christ mocked like that. I couldn't stop crying all the way home last night to see the sheer hatred for him and knowing that my husband thinks just like all of them. I'm getting teary just writing this now.

I've been praying for him for years and am praying for God to help me forgive him for all the times he's abandoned me even prior to my conversion. He has a tendency to let others insult me and not come to my defense. I know he is lost and because he doesn't know God acts this way, which isn't shocking to me, but still hurts. I guess I am writing this to share my sadness and struggles of this marriage. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I have fantasized about him leaving me to focus on Jesus Christ. With God in my life, I need nothing else. Any other wives out there alone in their marriages?
Yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!
I'm really struggling being married to an unbeliever. I came to Christ after we were already married and it has been source of contention ever since. I'm not surprised as I know Jesus brought a sword dividing households, but it is still difficult. As I become more bold in my faith and start spreading the Gospel message, he wants me to stop and feels embarrassed if he's around. He's currently upset with me because at his coworker's get together yesterday, a guest was mocking Jesus Christ with what she wore about him. I went to a private room, called my friend to pray with me. I then went and spoke to the mocker why she wore something so offensive about Jesus who loves her so much. I told her that Jesus is real and wants to know her. She gave me some attitude, got up, and left the house. The host then came to speak to me to tell me that religion is not appropriate to talk about at this Christmas party (go figure).

My husband just kept hiding out and insisted we leave secretly. I was beyond hurt and upset. He's still giving me the cold shoulder today stating I avoided him and shouldn't have said anything. What is the most upsetting is seeing Jesus Christ mocked like that. I couldn't stop crying all the way home last night to see the sheer hatred for him and knowing that my husband thinks just like all of them. I'm getting teary just writing this now.

I've been praying for him for years and am praying for God to help me forgive him for all the times he's abandoned me even prior to my conversion. He has a tendency to let others insult me and not come to my defense. I know he is lost and because he doesn't know God acts this way, which isn't shocking to me, but still hurts. I guess I am writing this to share my sadness and struggles of this marriage. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I have fantasized about him leaving me to focus on Jesus Christ. With God in my life, I need nothing else. Any other wives out there alone in their marriages?
Am so glad the Lord brought you here for fellowship....I can relate to your post so much!!!!

The pain, the horror, the longing to see them saved, the daily battle, the longing to be alone to serve the Lord .....them saying they love you one minute then calling you an (expletive) Bible basher an a God botherer the next .....

Last night, them telling your son that the Lord Jesus is a “benevolent zombie” ...

Am right there with you sister!!

I was churched for many years but don’t believe I was born again till in my 30s....went off the rails in years of heavy metal drunken debauchery, had my daughter, broke up with her dad who was also a heavy drinker, met DS dad who was also into rock, then after 18 months took part in a “civil partnership” ( no vows before God, so genuinely don’t know if I’m married or not which grates at me each day)...

Had DS, mum who is born again refused to attend the civil partnership which I now understand...moved house, dh on anti psychotic meds started to be in a very bad way, I was leaning on my own strength and wine at the weekend...

Moved back to my adopted home city and was drawn back into the Bible and convicted of the sins of my entire youth ....threw out all my old “rock lifestyle” stuff as well ....

The Lord opened the door to move to a lovely little rural village where we are now and also opened the door of reunion between me and mum...meantime the Lord graciously led me out of a heck
of a lot of false teaching I’d swallowed...

Went through a stage of reading the word to DS who is 8, dd at 12 has rejected the gospel, she sees her dad still drinking and I have tried to share my testimony with her but she blames me for ruining her dads life ....so I just pray there. (I cheated on him on more than one occasion) ...

So last year DH (dunno whether to call him that or not) was open to hear the gospel and we actually had good sometimes hour long conversations where the Lord helped me to bring in the Bible and steer the conversation back to the message of the cross ...

Sadly the second half of this year something has happened where because of his still rejection, there has been a terrible amount of persecution from him, my daughter and his parents. His parents hate my mum still and call her all kind of expletives. The four of them between them have called me mad, bonkers, Bible basher, brainwashed, unwell, and all sorts. I refused to take my son to be involved with Halloween and you can imagine what happened then ....I was accused of “virtual child abuse”...

It’s so hard, knowing they are making decisions as unsaved, where we only want to please the Lord ...

In the middle of absolute agony the Lord continues to shower me with blessings all over the place, not least fellowship on here ...

Cheeky please share more, would love to hear your testimony, have you got any kids?? Why not start your own prayer thread so we can pray specifically :) we are your RF family so please do feel free to vent whenever you want to and personally will pray for any specifics that you have ...

If you wanted to have further fellowship with me personally then maybe the mods could help, we could chat on messenger on something for added fellowship too??

Of course the added situation is we are hoping for the blessed rapture which surely is not far off now ...I’ve left a huge pile of Bible notes and letters in a hidden place in case needed ....truly each day is battle some and ever so slightly surreal. He’s off to a gig today with his friend, am gonna pray while he’s out!! Love Ang

:hug :hug:meet:pray
 

Jeff K

Well-Known Member
I'm sure it's a bit different for a husband to come to Christ and receive verbal persecution from his wife, but that's how it was for me. I didn't specifically pray for my wife to have a heart attack ( I did ask the Lord to do whatever it took to open her eyes), but after four years she had a mild heart attack and her eyes were wide open. Her salvation did not take place right away, but through much prayer and the Lord working in her life, it did happen.

I often thought it would be easier for me to follow the Lord if we split and went our separate ways. I know it's different for all who face persecution from a spouse, but before my wife had her attack, an elderly man from the church who knew nothing of my situation other than seeing me alone in church, came to me after a Sunday evening service and shared 1 Peter 3:7 with me and told me that I must love my wife like Christ loves me so that my prayers not be hindered. That hit me like a brick and I knew that I had to ask the Lord to help me do that because there was no way I could do it on my own.

1 Peter 3:7 "Husbands, likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."

Continue to pray fervently for your husband and also for the Lord to direct your path and to fill you with His wisdom and knowledge.
 

Andy C

Well-Known Member
Never give up. My wife is a life long Christian, yet 20 years ago, she married me, and I was not a Christian back then. She would gently nudge me at times, or simply live her life as a Christian and I would observe how she responded to different situations. A few times I even attended church with her, but still did not believe. After about 4 years of marriage, and seeing how happy she always was and seemed to have a strong inner peace about her, I slowly started responding because I wanted what she had. I think had she been forceful in pushing her beliefs to me, I probably would of doubled down in my non belief, and become even more hard hearted.

After I became saved, and read the bible many times through, I quickly realized she should have never married me due to my being an unbeliever. So I asked why she did marry me and become yoked with an unbeliever. She believed 100 percent God led her to me, for her to help lead me to Him.
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
Yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!


Am so glad the Lord brought you here for fellowship....I can relate to your post so much!!!!

The pain, the horror, the longing to see them saved, the daily battle, the longing to be alone to serve the Lord .....them saying they love you one minute then calling you an (expletive) Bible basher an a God botherer the next .....

Last night, them telling your son that the Lord Jesus is a “benevolent zombie” ...

Am right there with you sister!!

I was churched for many years but don’t believe I was born again till in my 30s....went off the rails in years of heavy metal drunken debauchery, had my daughter, broke up with her dad who was also a heavy drinker, met DS dad who was also into rock, then after 18 months took part in a “civil partnership” ( no vows before God, so genuinely don’t know if I’m married or not which grates at me each day)...

Had DS, mum who is born again refused to attend the civil partnership which I now understand...moved house, dh on anti psychotic meds started to be in a very bad way, I was leaning on my own strength and wine at the weekend...

Moved back to my adopted home city and was drawn back into the Bible and convicted of the sins of my entire youth ....threw out all my old “rock lifestyle” stuff as well ....

The Lord opened the door to move to a lovely little rural village where we are now and also opened the door of reunion between me and mum...meantime the Lord graciously led me out of a heck
of a lot of false teaching I’d swallowed...

Went through a stage of reading the word to DS who is 8, dd at 12 has rejected the gospel, she sees her dad still drinking and I have tried to share my testimony with her but she blames me for ruining her dads life ....so I just pray there. (I cheated on him on more than one occasion) ...

So last year DH (dunno whether to call him that or not) was open to hear the gospel and we actually had good sometimes hour long conversations where the Lord helped me to bring in the Bible and steer the conversation back to the message of the cross ...

Sadly the second half of this year something has happened where because of his still rejection, there has been a terrible amount of persecution from him, my daughter and his parents. His parents hate my mum still and call her all kind of expletives. The four of them between them have called me mad, bonkers, Bible basher, brainwashed, unwell, and all sorts. I refused to take my son to be involved with Halloween and you can imagine what happened then ....I was accused of “virtual child abuse”...

It’s so hard, knowing they are making decisions as unsaved, where we only want to please the Lord ...

In the middle of absolute agony the Lord continues to shower me with blessings all over the place, not least fellowship on here ...

Cheeky please share more, would love to hear your testimony, have you got any kids?? Why not start your own prayer thread so we can pray specifically :) we are your RF family so please do feel free to vent whenever you want to and personally will pray for any specifics that you have ...

If you wanted to have further fellowship with me personally then maybe the mods could help, we could chat on messenger on something for added fellowship too??

Of course the added situation is we are hoping for the blessed rapture which surely is not far off now ...I’ve left a huge pile of Bible notes and letters in a hidden place in case needed ....truly each day is battle some and ever so slightly surreal. He’s off to a gig today with his friend, am gonna pray while he’s out!! Love Ang

:hug :hug:meet:pray
Aww that is very sweet of you to say. That's a great idea to post a prayer post. It's wonderful to fellowship with others battling the same things. As I mentioned before, I met my husband when I was in college and lost. We would play video games together, drink, and go out dancing. He has a daughter from a girlfriend from high school. In our fornication, I got pregnant at 21 years old and he pushed for an abortion so I got one. Since coming to the lord 3 years ago, I have repented of all of my sins including the abortion. God is so merciful. He saved me when I was at the end of myself. I was financially successful, have my own counseling practice, married, without needs and yet I was hopelessly empty. I was looking for fulfillment in my relationship, experiences, and accomplishments.

One day after being tormented with thoughts of suicide, I cried out to God to save me. That weekend I saw a sermon that my newly converted father had sent me weeks ago and it was like my eyes were opened. For the first time in my life I felt alive and saw that I was fed lies all my life. My family raised me Roman Catholic and I learned by studying the bible all the idol worship, and false teachings I had learned. The first year of my conversion was overwhelming. I felt angry with all the lies I had believed, and alone that nobody around me really understood. My father was helpful but lived in Colombia at the time. Many times I had cried out to God for fellowship and a year later I met one of my sister's in Christ, Sandy, that has helped me through so many difficult trials this past year.

During this time, my husband seemed annoyed every time I brought up the Gospel and Jesus Christ. I was just so excited, I couldn't stop talking about everything I was learning by the Holy Spirit. There was an unquenchable thirst for the Gospel and truth. Since this time, my husband has softened quite a bit and listens to my bible prophecy views regarding the news. Unfortunately, he still rejects Jesus and moments like this weekend at the sweater party make it apparent we are unequally yoked. I trust and believe God saved me in this marriage for a purpose and I pray that he uses me to bring my husband, Mike closer to him.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're family and children are so hostile to you about Jesus Christ. I have unbelieving siblings that I was really close with. They no longer spend time with me or invite me to their homes like before. My mother is open to talking about the Bible but is still holding on to the Roman Catholic traditions and teachings. Family get together are difficult because one sibling tends to antagonize or make sarcastic comments about my faith. It usually changes with which one it is at each gathering. I just keep praying for them and try to live by example by the best way I can. It's not easy though. There are times where my harsh tone comes out when upset, and I have to apologize. I would love to connect and support each other more personally. My email is [email protected] if you want to connect there. I'm not sure how to send private messages through here. God bless you!
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
I'm sure it's a bit different for a husband to come to Christ and receive verbal persecution from his wife, but that's how it was for me. I didn't specifically pray for my wife to have a heart attack ( I did ask the Lord to do whatever it took to open her eyes), but after four years she had a mild heart attack and her eyes were wide open. Her salvation did not take place right away, but through much prayer and the Lord working in her life, it did happen.

I often thought it would be easier for me to follow the Lord if we split and went our separate ways. I know it's different for all who face persecution from a spouse, but before my wife had her attack, an elderly man from the church who knew nothing of my situation other than seeing me alone in church, came to me after a Sunday evening service and shared 1 Peter 3:7 with me and told me that I must love my wife like Christ loves me so that my prayers not be hindered. That hit me like a brick and I knew that I had to ask the Lord to help me do that because there was no way I could do it on my own.

1 Peter 3:7 "Husbands, likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."

Continue to pray fervently for your husband and also for the Lord to direct your path and to fill you with His wisdom and knowledge.
That is a great prayer for God to do whatever it takes. Wow that's crazy that it took a heart attack for her. I wonder what it will take for my husband and the rest of my siblings to believe in Jesus Christ. I love hearing about those that have been long suffering and have seen their spouses be born again. What an amazing honor to see that!
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
My husband is saved but he doesn't like to hear of end times stuff much. I will keep you in prayer, I know it must be so hard.
Thank you so much!
Never give up. My wife is a life long Christian, yet 20 years ago, she married me, and I was not a Christian back then. She would gently nudge me at times, or simply live her life as a Christian and I would observe how she responded to different situations. A few times I even attended church with her, but still did not believe. After about 4 years of marriage, and seeing how happy she always was and seemed to have a strong inner peace about her, I slowly started responding because I wanted what she had. I think had she been forceful in pushing her beliefs to me, I probably would of doubled down in my non belief, and become even more hard hearted.

After I became saved, and read the bible many times through, I quickly realized she should have never married me due to my being an unbeliever. So I asked why she did marry me and become yoked with an unbeliever. She believed 100 percent God led her to me, for her to help lead me to Him.
I worry I'm forcing it too much on him. Sometimes I can't contain myself and talk about the amazing revelations I get through the Word of God. The problem is there's not a lot left for us to talk about. That's where I struggle the most. He wants to talk about video games filled with magic and witchcraft or violence, or buying a house and retirement. I listen to him talk about work, which I enjoy but not much else. The easiest times are when it's nice weather where we can go for walks and talk about the activities. Everything is just so superficial now.
 

Lookingup83

Well-Known Member
Thank you so much!


I worry I'm forcing it too much on him. Sometimes I can't contain myself and talk about the amazing revelations I get through the Word of God. The problem is there's not a lot left for us to talk about. That's where I struggle the most. He wants to talk about video games filled with magic and witchcraft or violence, or buying a house and retirement. I listen to him talk about work, which I enjoy but not much else. The easiest times are when it's nice weather where we can go for walks and talk about the activities. Everything is just so superficial now.
I can relate sister. Gave up video games months ago, but my husband still loves them. I think regarding prophetic things and the rapture he just doesn't like the idea of leaving. But I am so excited and ready, it really is a blessing to be able to fellowship with people that aren't afraid to be excited to see Jesus!
 
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