I read an article today about how John Cooper is doing a broadcast for suicide prevention month. For those who don't know him, he is a believer. His music I wouldn't say is worship but a lot of his stuff you can tell is influenced by his faith. You can google it and find many articles on it. This subject touches my heart. I've struggled with depression, PTSD and all that since I was 8. My first suicide attempt was at age 10. So many people out there struggle and we are so afraid to speak. There's too much judgment. Especially if you're a believer. It's hard to admit you have a problem when you know people will treat you differently. Reaching out to a pastor was my last resort. And it was the best thing for me at the time. He connected me with a very good Christian therapist. Since my last attempt, I often think about how blessed I am that Jesus reached me. I know that if he wasn't there, I'd be in Hell right now. Or at least there would be a good chance of it. Now I know the truth and it has helped me fight these thoughts. But, the thing that I have discovered is that no matter what I do, those feelings will never go away. They can improve, lighten up a little but never fully disappear. I believe that is the thorn in my side. But, I know now that I am not alone. The Holy Spirit has carried me so many days in my journey. I cannot wait for the new body and mind waiting for all us believers. For those who struggle, you are not alone either. Not only is the Holy Spirit by your side but also there are others out there who face the same fires. It wasn't until I began to talk that the burden has lifted. Before finding Deb, all I would ever get from a believer is an onslaught of bible verses that just made me feel worse in the end. A very strong Christian woman told me to stop giving the devil the victory and to decide not to be depressed. Tried it... didn't work. Many Christian therapists and scientists agree that trauma and other factors can cause depression. Jesus heals. I do believe that. But if you're not there yet, I am listening. I guess that's the point of this post. To reach out to those who may be afraid. I won't judge. I've been there. So, if you are struggling, having a bad day or just need to tell your story, I am listening.