Somebody tell a joke, Please

[lismore]

Your Boss: This is the third time this week you've been late. Do you know what that means?

You: Um, it's Wednesday!

 

[are you ready]

Did you know they opened a restaurant on the moon.

Great food but no atmosphere.

 

[lightofmylife]

Did you know they opened a restaurant on the moon.

Great food but no atmosphere.

Do they have moon pies?

 

[Tall Timbers]

Do they have moon pies?

Sure they do, and occasionally a cow pie from when a cow jumps over the moon.

 

[Ghoti Ichthus]

ARC cola, too (sorry for the horrible pun and terrible grammar to do it)

 

[RonJohnSilver]

Why don't cannibals eat missionaries?



Ans: Because it's hard to keep a good man down.

 

[JoyJoyJoy]

Why can't Jesus wear jewelry??

Because He breaks every chain!!

 

[JoyJoyJoy]

Little Billy gets a boo boo...

Mothers today...oh my poor baby. Let me clean it up and get you a popsicle. Then lay on the couch and Play videos a while.


Our Mothers..Well...see...that wouldn't have happened if you had listened to me. Now go play.

 

[lismore]

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went fishing.

He must have wanted to fish too because he hasn't stopped calling

 

[are you ready]

Jesus is my Rock and that's how I roll

 

[lismore]

I clicked 'accept cookies' on my computer.

But I didn't get any cookies! Never mind choc chip, not even a plain cookie!

 

[Ghoti Ichthus]

I clicked 'accept cookies' on my computer.

But I didn't get any cookies! Never mind choc chip, not even a plain cookie!

 

[are you ready]

Need an Ark? I Noah guy

 

[lismore]

Someone told me human eat more bananas than monkeys.

Pretty obvious, I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey

 

[lismore]

Q/ How many people work in your company?

A/ About half of them

 

[Tall Timbers]

In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble. In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.

 

[HisGloryIsPrecious]

In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble. In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.

If you do this in a dairy and they sue, will there be a quart order?

 

[Tall Timbers]

If you ever get an email about pork ham and salt, Don't open it ...



It's spam

 

[Tall Timbers]

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

 

[are you ready]

I want to be so full of Christ that if I a mosquito bites me,it flies away singing There is Power in the Blood.