Somebody tell a joke, Please


Blessed Hope-Prepare To Fly!
3 guys were waiting at the Pearly Gates.

The first one turned with a smile to the others, This is my reward for giving my life to be a missionary to savages.

The second one smiled and said, I spent 30 years witnessing in a soviet gulag. Praise the Lord!

The third one shrugged and said, Last thing I remember is my wife asking if the striped dress made her look fat...
My reply to the third one you are in big trouble if you said yes she looks fat from the striped dress. The wife will say to St. Peter he doesn't belong in heaven he isn't nice.


Blessed Hope-Prepare To Fly!
A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
She asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
Now she was smiling. Hey, they're getting it, she thought! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" she asked.
Again, they all answered, "NO!"
She was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."
It is funny but the truth is Christians that are alive and remain when Jesus comes back don't die we go up with our new glorified bodies to heaven.

Ghoti Ichthus

Pray so they do not serve alone. Ephesians 6:10-20
A teacher asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.

She was puzzled by a boy’s picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. ‘The flight to Egypt,’ he replied. ‘I see…And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,’ she said.’But who’s the fourth person?’

‘Oh, that’s Pontius – the Pilot!’

Ghoti Ichthus

Pray so they do not serve alone. Ephesians 6:10-20

If Moses had received the 10 Commandments via text message:​

no1 b4 me. srsly.
dnt wrshp pix/idols
no omg's
no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
pos ok ur m&d r cool
dnt kill ppl
:-X only w/ m8
dnt steal
dnt lie re: bf
dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

ttyl, JHWH.

ps. wwjd?