Hello. First, let me say I 100% believe Jesus is God and the Bible is God's word. I have no intellectual doubts. My problem is getting to KNOW Him. Everybody says "let go and let God" How? I Have been nomadic almost my entire life. Always seeking something. I now understand I am seeking him. Imo, many preachers and pastors just seem to get in the way. I don't want to buy their books, I just want to know Jesus. It is supposed to be a free gift, so why are they trying to sell it? Many preachers seem to preach "God as ATM". I find this offensive. How can the God who tells us to lay up our treasures in Heaven, be the same God who is out to make you rich(as long as you donate to their ministry)? I just want to meet the Jesus who gave the sermon on the mount. The one who despaired over the people of Jerusalem knowing what was coming for them. The Jesus who suffered cruel punishment to save me from My sins. Where is he? How do I find him? Sorry if my first post is such a "downer"; but nothing else really matters.