Sad I disappointed the Lord...

Sweetnsalty

Well-Known Member
Hi there,
This is my first time to post but have read this forum for years. I am thankful for those of you who have contributed to this forum by answering questions and giving advice, which has been both edifying and encouraging. Those of you who have shared your struggles have been a blessing as well, as it has shown me I am not alone in battling the flesh.

I would like to share with you now a struggle of mine, and that is showing love and kindness to someone who has vengefully hurt me in the past. Last night I spoke words that I wish I hadn't...
I am regretting venting to my husband last night the absolute dislike I feel for an extended family member. The person in reference has slandered and lied about me, misrepresented situations, and has been cruel in ways very few know about or would even believe.There is so much dysfunction within this extended family unit and I hate that my family is influenced by them. Nevertheless, I was wrong and unwise in stating too honestly how I feel about this person.

I apologized to my husband this morning, and he was completely sympathetic and kind to me.
I then called the person I spoke about critically (who has no idea what I said about them)and chatted in a friendly and encouraging manner as I would normally strive to do. I hate that I gave evil a foothold and that I dishonored the Lord by speaking so harshly and critically! The Holy Spirit has helped me so much in regards to controlling the tongue, but last night I utterly failed Him. It was so unwise and last night after going to bed, I woke up thinking about it and it felt like a nightmare.

I share this in case any of you are feeling tempted to speak words that you know you shouldn't. Once they're said they can't be taken back.
Luckily I have a Savior and husband who, through their compassion and grace, have forgiven me...
 

sherryh

Well-Known Member
i had a bad situation happen in my family a long time ago, I went to my pastor and told him what this family member had done and he asked me to pray for my family member and the situation. I started out with this very beautiful and flowery prayer. My pastor stopped me and asked me if i was being honest with myself and The Lord. I said no i wasn't he then asked me to say the prayer I really felt, I did and it wasn't nice or pretty. He said I will see you tomorrow and we will say a prayer until the Lord shows you something. Well it took a few months and I was asking the Lord to let me show kindness to this family and you know this family came to me one by one and asked for forgiveness. I think it was being honest with myself and the Lord already knowing my heart. I have no burden with any of this today. The Lord has been wonderful to me and through the trials I have grown and growing daily.
 

Sweetnsalty

Well-Known Member
Thank you for the welcome ShilohRose, and to sherryh for your testimony of forgiveness and reconciliation.
As I've never posted on this forum before, your replies are the first I've ever received. Your acknowledging my post have made me feel so good!
It's amazing how this forum allows us to connect with others around the world, sharing our ups and downs and our love for Jesus!
God bless you...
 

Goodboy

Well-Known Member
We are all weak and though we think we can control our actions, there will be times especially in anger where we can't. I was hurt so bad by my wife that I actually got to a point where I did not care at all what bad things I said to her. When I calmed down I almost could not believe that it was me who said all those things. All you have done is revealed that you are a sinner saved by grace like the rest of us. I applaud you for feeling sorry and knowing that what you did is wrong. God Bless!!! :hug
 

Sweetnsalty

Well-Known Member
Thank you, Goodboy. I can identify with your unbelief in the hurtful things you said to your wife. I can suppress bad feelings for a long time, but when the hurt is deep and I allow myself to brood on it, it can almost feel surreal in how my words absolutely get ahead of me, and as I'm saying them I'm already in a state of regret and even disbelief in what I'm saying. Luckily this is NOT a pattern for me, but when it happens...ugh! Thanks for the virtual hug
 

Channah

Well-Known Member
Oh my, I saw this post and I'm so guilty of this. I say things then the Holy Spirit convicts me. Just today, like SherryH I had to be honest with the Lord and said what was in my heart, truthfully.

We all fall short of the glory of God. Thank you Jesus for dying on the Cross and taking my sins away. Thank you for allowing us to be able to come to You boldly and repent.
 

Mikedexion

Well-Known Member
We will always be at enmity with our flesh because our flesh always wants to please itself, no worries. You've already shown that you have the fruits of the spirit by realizing that and making things right God bless you sister! We all fall down! But we get up again and again and again... Such is the life of a believer :thumbup
 

Andy C

Well-Known Member
I believe at times, some words NEED to be said. However, the tone of delivery often times conveys a much different message than we want.

Don't feel too bad, I know I have been there and done that in the past.

Welcome to the forums. Excellent first post, and I hope you continue on and be an active member of this family.
 

Sweetnsalty

Well-Known Member
I believe at times, some words NEED to be said. However, the tone of delivery often times conveys a much different message than we want.

Don't feel too bad, I know I have been there and done that in the past.

Welcome to the forums. Excellent first post, and I hope you continue on and be an active member of this family.
Yes! Tone of delivery is so important, too.
Thank you for the encouragement and warm welcome...
 

Work4Peanuts

Well-Known Member
... The person in reference has slandered and lied about me, misrepresented situations, and has been cruel in ways very few know about or would even believe.There is so much dysfunction within this extended family unit and I hate that my family is influenced by them...
This, by the way, is not ok. You have been wronged by this person. Have they asked for forgiveness? I think it might be wise to distance yourself from them until that time. Forgive them in your heart, absolutely. Pray for them, yes. The Bible tells us to turn the other cheek when we've been wronged, but it doesn't say anything about returning after the fact to be someone else's punching bag.
 

Kem

Citizen
Speaking of being honest in prayer, once I had to tell the Lord that I was praying for a person through gritted teeth and only because I wanted to obey the Lord, not because I really wanted to pray for the person. I did persist though and after a month or more, I really started to care about the person and honestly prayed for their salvation.
 

maranatha14

Well-Known Member
I know how you feel! I have done the same thing, and was so disappointed in myself. Not that we believers don't mess up, but when we do, the conviction can be overwhelming. I even missed church one morning because I felt so terrible. I got in my car, drove to a secluded place, read my Bible, prayed, spoke out loud with the Lord and of course..... cried my eyes out.

The wonderful part was, after some time, I knew He heard my prayer, and forgave me. After repenting, I felt so much better. I then did what I could to rectify the situation, but you are right; once the words are out there, tough to bring them back. Just recently, I was having terrible feelings toward a person, and I hated the fact that I had these feelings. I am the believer; she is not! So I asked the Lord to forgive me, and help me change my heart. Within a couple of days, animosity that had been growing for over a year disappeared. I was happier, and that relationship has greatly healed.

I am at the place where even though conviction can be an agonizing thing, I welcome it. I would rather be convicted, see the errors of my ways, and repent, than to go merrily along thinking everything is great. Our Lord knows us better than we know ourselves. When I see these things in myself, I am so ashamed, but Praise God; He loves me anyway. A good parent disciplines his child. Certainly our Lord is a wonderful parent! He has had to discipline me often, but each time, I feel I grow a little more in Him, and I learn to hear His voice.
 

mattfivefour

Administrator
Staff member
Excellent first post, Sweetnsalty. Be assured your experience is no different than that of many of us. We fail so often and disappoint ourselves. But also be assured that we never disappoint God. God understands us and knows just how to grow us. He is so gentle and so perfect in His dealings with us that He will not break a bruised reed nor quench a smoking wick. He only desires a willing heart from us: He supplies everything else. Anyway, welcome to Rapture Forums! I am glad to get to know another sister in Christ.
 
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