Releasing my feelings.

yrrek

Well-Known Member
Not sure where to put this. I just really need some place to get this off my chest. This year has been a difficult one for our family and has taken a big toll on me mentally. I've always struggled with depression and other mental disorders. Last night at a bible study I mentioned I was going to go on anti-depressants to help me cope. I've struggled for 20 years and attempted suicide about 3 times out of those 20 years. I've went to counseling and I've learned how to not allow myself to sink that deep. I only went to counseling after I almost succeeded. But, I've learned little things to get me through the day. When I feel that low, I make it a point to get one goal done every day. And at the end of the day I consider it a victory. But the feelings never go away. Even when it's a good day, it's always there. But now that my hormones are more out of control because of a health issue, it's more intense. It's more frequent and constant. Before it was only here or there. When I mentioned the anti-depressants I got a whole lot of Jesus thrown at me. Like my relationship with God is the problem. But my relationship with God is what sustains me. I realize the two women in bible study are genuinely trying to help me. But, when they are telling me that I'm letting Satan win and that I need to do this or that... That I need to change my feelings, get on vitamins see a chiropractor... what ever... it honestly makes me feel worse. Not because their suggestions are wrong... but because it makes me feel like all the effort I do put into keeping my head above water is useless. Because honestly... I don't believe anything I do will ever "fix" it. And Jesus, the Word, praise/worship is really the only thing that has kept me here. It does make a major impact on my depression. I read everyday, pray multiple times a day and study. I honestly give God a lot of what I've been struggling with. Not saying I'm perfect and doing it all right. But to say that I'm letting Satan win? Doesn't that make it seem like I'm being told to carry all this on my own strength? It feels that way. I thank God every day that he gets me through. I just really needed to get that out. Hopefully I don't regret this post. I know these women love me and are only trying to pull me up. That's why I don't want to say anything to them. But unless you've been there. Unless you know what that hole is like... I don't think they can get it. Sometimes people just need someone's presence. Sometimes it's better just to be supportive.
 

Work4Peanuts

Well-Known Member
Do what you need to do to be healthy. It is a hole. If you need the medicine, just know that you need it because we live in a fallen world with fallen bodies that get physical ailments sometimes (even the brain.) No one would think twice about taking medicine to correct high blood pressure, or diabetes.
 

antitox

Well-Known Member
That's why I don't want to say anything to them. But unless you've been there. Unless you know what that hole is like... I don't think they can get it. Sometimes people just need someone's presence. Sometimes it's better just to be supportive.
Through my life I've only been in that hole a couple of times. I don't know what it's like to live there, but I do know what depression is like which is why I avoid it like the plague. All I know in my own life is to turn to Him when things are on top of me. When a load is on me, I immediately stop my panic, get a grip on myself for a second, then go take a walk to clear my head, and just talk to Him.
When we are in those moments He wants us to turn to Him.

Psalm 34:18-22
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

So, that's the only thing I can do is run to Him.
 

Tall Timbers

Imperfect but forgiven
yrrek, you sound like a very strong person with much patience for the well-meaning but ill-equipped. I hope and pray that you find whatever medicine/help that will help lift you out of a depressive state. :pray I don't think I'm strong enough to experience what you're going through. May the Lord bless you and keep you and may His face shine upon you.
 

Cindy S.

Well-Known Member
Do what you need to do to be healthy. It is a hole. If you need the medicine, just know that you need it because we live in a fallen world with fallen bodies that get physical ailments sometimes (even the brain.) No one would think twice about taking medicine to correct high blood pressure, or diabetes.
I used to turn to alcohol and marijuana to cope until I imagined Jesus face to face and I'm stoned.
 

athenasius

Well-Known Member
YYrek, my heart goes out to you. Medication prescribed by your dr is perfectly OK to take and honestly it is far more important to follow your dr's advice than any well meant but misguided advice from other people.
When I mentioned the anti-depressants I got a whole lot of Jesus thrown at me. Like my relationship with God is the problem. But my relationship with God is what sustains me. I realize the two women in bible study are genuinely trying to help me. But, when they are telling me that I'm letting Satan win and that I need to do this or that... That I need to change my feelings, get on vitamins see a chiropractor... what ever... it honestly makes me feel worse.
Those women need to back off! Yes they are trying to help-- and they mean well. But THEY ARE NOT YOUR DRs! and they have NO BUSINESS equating taking a Rx for depression with letting Satan win. That is straight up a lie from the pit!

As if dealing with illness was some kind of faith plus works endurance contest!!!!

I'd like to see them try to manage insulin dependent diabetes without insulin!!!! Or shrink a brain tumour by following a prayer schedule plus herbs alone, without seeing a dr and following the Dr's advice!!!!

Unfortunately inside the church mental health is the one topic a lot of people have suddenly taken to the Word Faith Works heresy where only those with super faith who hang on for dear life without meds are OK and all others are faithless wimps. That is WORKS and it's heresy. We don't have to go it alone and avoid the dr or the medication that a dr can provide.

The simple truth is that Christians can and do get depressed, and a sad number of people with Depression will commit suicide, even within Christianity.

The other simple truth is that by God's grace in recent years we have drs and medications that can and do help. Sensible Christians know that God wants his people to live free from disease wherever possible. The Pharisees REBUKED JESUS for healing a woman on the Sabbath. He pointed out she had already suffered ENOUGH for many years.

I'd say that Jesus has made a way for you to ease that suffering, and that it is GODLY of you to take the medication the Dr prescribes so that you can be freed up from the suffering and from the time and energy that the depression is draining you of.

LOVE AND A BIG BIG HUG!!!! :bighug
 

athenasius

Well-Known Member
But to say that I'm letting Satan win? Doesn't that make it seem like I'm being told to carry all this on my own strength? It feels that way. I thank God every day that he gets me through. I just really needed to get that out. Hopefully I don't regret this post. I know these women love me and are only trying to pull me up. That's why I don't want to say anything to them. But unless you've been there. Unless you know what that hole is like... I don't think they can get it. Sometimes people just need someone's presence. Sometimes it's better just to be supportive.
Incredibly WELL SAID! And yes, this is the gospel of Works at work and it's NOT the real gospel.
 

Love His Appearing

Well-Known Member
YYrek, my heart goes out to you. Medication prescribed by your dr is perfectly OK to take and honestly it is far more important to follow your dr's advice than any well meant but misguided advice from other people.

Those women need to back off! Yes they are trying to help-- and they mean well. But THEY ARE NOT YOUR DRs! and they have NO BUSINESS equating taking a Rx for depression with letting Satan win. That is straight up a lie from the pit!

As if dealing with illness was some kind of faith plus works endurance contest!!!!

I'd like to see them try to manage insulin dependent diabetes without insulin!!!! Or shrink a brain tumour by following a prayer schedule plus herbs alone, without seeing a dr and following the Dr's advice!!!!

Unfortunately inside the church mental health is the one topic a lot of people have suddenly taken to the Word Faith Works heresy where only those with super faith who hang on for dear life without meds are OK and all others are faithless wimps. That is WORKS and it's heresy. We don't have to go it alone and avoid the dr or the medication that a dr can provide.

The simple truth is that Christians can and do get depressed, and a sad number of people with Depression will commit suicide, even within Christianity.

The other simple truth is that by God's grace in recent years we have drs and medications that can and do help. Sensible Christians know that God wants his people to live free from disease wherever possible. The Pharisees REBUKED JESUS for healing a woman on the Sabbath. He pointed out she had already suffered ENOUGH for many years.

I'd say that Jesus has made a way for you to ease that suffering, and that it is GODLY of you to take the medication the Dr prescribes so that you can be freed up from the suffering and from the time and energy that the depression is draining you of.

LOVE AND A BIG BIG HUG!!!! :bighug
YES. What Athensious said!! Especially what she said about that message from your friends being a straight up lie from the pit. It sounds to me like you are hanging on because of your great faith. I get that. If it weren't for my faith, I would have checked outta here a long time ago. It's something I have struggled with my whole life and my kids do, too.

Sometimes the Lord answers our prayers THROUGH doctors and medicines.

Prayers and hugs!!
 

yrrek

Well-Known Member
yrrek, you sound like a very strong person with much patience for the well-meaning but ill-equipped. I hope and pray that you find whatever medicine/help that will help lift you out of a depressive state. :pray I don't think I'm strong enough to experience what you're going through. May the Lord bless you and keep you and may His face shine upon you.
All that strength truly comes from God. He reminds me that every pain I feel He feels it too.
 

yrrek

Well-Known Member
YYrek, my heart goes out to you. Medication prescribed by your dr is perfectly OK to take and honestly it is far more important to follow your dr's advice than any well meant but misguided advice from other people.

Those women need to back off! Yes they are trying to help-- and they mean well. But THEY ARE NOT YOUR DRs! and they have NO BUSINESS equating taking a Rx for depression with letting Satan win. That is straight up a lie from the pit!

As if dealing with illness was some kind of faith plus works endurance contest!!!!

I'd like to see them try to manage insulin dependent diabetes without insulin!!!! Or shrink a brain tumour by following a prayer schedule plus herbs alone, without seeing a dr and following the Dr's advice!!!!

Unfortunately inside the church mental health is the one topic a lot of people have suddenly taken to the Word Faith Works heresy where only those with super faith who hang on for dear life without meds are OK and all others are faithless wimps. That is WORKS and it's heresy. We don't have to go it alone and avoid the dr or the medication that a dr can provide.

The simple truth is that Christians can and do get depressed, and a sad number of people with Depression will commit suicide, even within Christianity.

The other simple truth is that by God's grace in recent years we have drs and medications that can and do help. Sensible Christians know that God wants his people to live free from disease wherever possible. The Pharisees REBUKED JESUS for healing a woman on the Sabbath. He pointed out she had already suffered ENOUGH for many years.

I'd say that Jesus has made a way for you to ease that suffering, and that it is GODLY of you to take the medication the Dr prescribes so that you can be freed up from the suffering and from the time and energy that the depression is draining you of.

LOVE AND A BIG BIG HUG!!!! :bighug
I think they only feel this towards the depression side of medicine. I love Jesus with all my heart but it's like people think if you have the Lord all your depression and struggles just vanish like magic. It defiantly has a very good positive impact but they just can't understand why it doesn't just go away. Honestly, I feel like this struggle is just a thorn in my side that I have to remind myself... his grace is sufficient for me.
 
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