Problem Sibling. Help!

Círeth

Well-Known Member
He was also saying things about how tattoos defile your body, I should not wear black because "it's the devil's colour", everyone should cover up from wrists to ankles in baggy clothes, dresses for women. Women should not wear trousers, etc. He has gone out now which is good because my patience with him for today is at an end. :lion
 

Sowen

Well-Known Member
He sounds Christopagan. I know a lot of people like that. It's common in Catholicism, but your roommate seems to have glommed onto a Charismatic form.

Until you or he moves, these passages help immensely in dealing with difficult people: Romans 12:14-21 and Philippians 4:4-9.

You mightn't realize it now, but the sound doctrine you've shared with him, might be the seed that God uses to grow in his life. Your kindness towards him despite his behavior towards you is also a great witness of true Christian behavior.

I know it's hard as I live with someone like your roommate. I had no peace until I started practicing Romans 12:14-21 and Philippians 4:4-9. It was (and is) extremely difficult, but in hindsight, I can see how dealing with this person has caused (and is causing) me to grow-up much in the Lord, which is probably more growth than I would've otherwise had at this point in my life with so many things vying for my attention, but this situation is one that I must make a priority because I have to literally live with it. Above all, when I'm tempted to defend myself, I remember that God is the Vindicator, not me, and vengeance is God's, not mine.

Now, please know I'm not encouraging you to stay in this situation to try your faith; that's not what Scripture teaches. What it does teach, and what I'm offering, is encouragement to handle it while you're in it.
 

athenasius

Well-Known Member
Cireth if he is getting more into trying to control you, is this a warning sign?

There is a fine line between people having strong opinions on things like tatoos, what colours are suitable and what constitutes modest clothing---

--and being a dangerous person with serious mental health symptoms who becomes angry when people around them don't conform to the rules they think are important. That IS abusive, and that is a SERIOUS red flag. He could flash over into a serious rage.

Just because he is a Christian, doesn't stop him from suffering mental illness, and sometimes certain forms of mental illness can be extremely dangerous. As you've said, he comes from a difficult background, and the type of churches and Christians who he thinks are good, are problematic to say the least. That still doesn't make him dangerous, but anyone can suffer mental illness. And some of what he has been thru make him susceptible to mental illness.

And most important to keep in mind is that sometimes the truly dangerous forms of mental illness aren't recognized or they are downplayed by the people around them. We don't want to see it, we are sure it isn't THAT bad. It's hard to get over that "normalcy bias" in our thinking about our friends and relations.

And then there is the abuse problem of a lot of cultures from Africa and the Middle East in which males are allowed and expected to abuse and control the women around them. Just because he came from a culture like that, moved to Britain, and is a Christian doesn't mean he is free from that background. He may think because he "cares" about you as a sister, that he can treat you like his own sisters-- and the brothers of women in those cultures often terrorize their sisters into obedience to cultural norms.

Praying for wisdom. Anger is sometimes an indicator that boundaries are being crossed that shouldn't be.
 

Círeth

Well-Known Member
I thank you for your concern sister; I will be cautious but I am not worried that he'll try to hurt me. If he did threaten me or try to hurt me I'd talk to B and Z and B would deal with him. B and Z are are a married couple, this house is divided into four individual rooms and a downstairs flat and B and Z have the flat. They are Iranian. B is normally a very gentle man but he is very protective and will not tolerate anyone threatening or trying to hurt Z or me and my other female housemate E.

If B's intervention was required our landlord would kick him out. He won't put up with that sort of behaviour either.
 
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Círeth

Well-Known Member
I'm not sure whether to laugh or not. I didn't realise what was going on until the end of the conversation. That may be one of the most unique ways of dealing with JWs I've ever heard. Lol.

I heard him talking to people downstairs and I thought they were friends of his. He was trying to get them to buy his artwork and saying some of his usual off beam things. He had them completely of balance and off topic and I didn't realise they were JWs until they gave up and were leaving and invited him to the Kingdom Hall on Sunday.

That was hilarious.

(He is leaving but not until December 1st because landlords are required by law to give people a month's notice.)
 
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