Problem Sibling. Help!

Círeth

Well-Known Member
I really don't know if I'm putting this in the right place. Please feel free to move this if it's in the wrong place, mods.

Advice please! I live in a rented room in a house with a group of fellow Christians. Our landlord is a brother and I suspect he prioritizes family when it comes to prospective tenants. I have a new housemate who is driving me up the wall at the moment. He has some very odd beliefs and is an expert at taking verses, or half verses, out of context to twist them to his point of view.

He believes in faith plus works. That we can lose our salvation and that once saved always saved is a doctrine of hell and the devil. He also believes that not every believer will be saved and go to heaven. He believes everyone must speak in tongues and if you don't you're not baptised in the Holy Spirit. He also believes that Christians can be demon possessed and since a nightmare he had about me he believes I am possessed. That's just for starters. Anything he dislikes about someone's habits or appearance is caused by an evil spirit. Apparently wearing crosses is evil. The list goes on.

All four of the rest of the us have been trying to persuade him otherwise but he's not listening.
.
At the moment he has a bad case of speck-logitis; claiming to know other's spiritual condition better than they do. He's also very blunt and offends me often. I am very offended and upset right now and trying to calm down before I respond to him. I don't want to snap at him out of pain and anger. He has been texting me through WhatsApp today and I'm not responding at the moment because if I do I'll snap at him. He's been saying that I don't have enough faith because I have menstrual problems that God has not healed me from. If I had more faith I'd be healed. He's backing this up with the fact that he had epilepsy for nine years and God healed him. Basically I need to pray harder and ask God for mercy. As if I haven't cried out to God, pleaded with him, begged him to heal me of this. Apparently I am a "baby christian" without the Spirit.

I am trying to be a nice friendly lioness; not a hissy, shrieky, growly, bitey lioness but he's making it difficult. Right now I'm a quietly fuming lioness asking the Lord for strength, patience and forgiveness for the fuming.
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
I'm so sorry, this is just wrong and I'm sorry you are dealing with this! :hug :hug

This guy sounds spiritually off base (cultish, actually) and spiritually abusive and spiritually attacking you. He is (possibly unknowingly) utilizing the tools of our enemy who would love to cut down one of God's precious children, of which I know you are. :) :hug

I personally would avoid him like the plague and simply pray for him, removing myself from all sources of communication that I could. Sounds like any interaction with him is geared to cutting anyone around him down spiritually rather than building people up in Christ-as the bible would instruct us to do. Would you say that you are dealing with someone acting like this:

Some people may contradict our teaching, but these are the wholesome teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. These teachings promote a godly life. Anyone who teaches something different is arrogant and lacks understanding. Such a person has an unhealthy desire to quibble over the meaning of words. This stirs up arguments ending in jealousy, division, slander, and evil suspicions. These people always cause trouble.......1 Tim 6:3-5

If so the Apostle Paul says:

Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge. 1 Tim 6:20

Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. 2 Tim 2:16

Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 2 Tim 2:23-24 Would you say that this person is kind, teachable and patient?

If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them. Titus 3:10-11 This passage is in regards those promoting so called spiritual guidance in regards to spiritual pedigrees or obedience to Jewish laws, but the principle here is don't tolerate spiritual teachings that are contrary to the Gospel or are unnecessary spiritually. Paul says in vs 9: ......These things are useless and a waste of time. So, don't waste your time.


Titus 3:2 speaks on how a person in Christ should be know for, or growing into:
Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience.

And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught.
Romans 16:17

I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. 1 Cor 5:11



There's other 'stay away from" passages you could look at as well. I'm just giving you some scriptures to stand on if they apply to your situation.

It sounds like you and the others have chatted with him quite a bit but to no avail, at this point leaving him in God's hands, pray for him and stay away from him as much as you can. It may come up in conversation with the others and you can simply point to these scriptures that you are following and praying for this man.

I would also caution you in making sure you are physically safe as well. Spiritually abusive people can also be physically abusive as well. Not saying this guy is heading down that path, but they can go hand in hand. Be kind, courteous, pray for him, avoid conversation with him and stay away. Let God deal with His heart.

You know your own heart that you are saved and have God's Holy Spirit within you. It's your faith in Christ that saves and last time I checked in Galatians as to what the fruit of the Holy Spirit is this is what it says: But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galations 5:22-23 Don't see anything there about speaking in tongues to prove that one has the Holy Spirit.

:pray
 

Work4Peanuts

Well-Known Member
Praying for you. (You have gotten good Christian advice. What I am about to say does not fall under that category, but might bring you a smile.) From one crabby lioness to another, I have to say, that I don't think I could stop myself from messing with him. Start wearing black all the time, with silver jewelry (preferably a large crucifix.) He likes speaking in tongues? Start studying Latin, and speak to him only in Latin. It must be Latin, the original language of the Whore of Babylon Roman Catholic church.

Seriously, probably not a good idea to do any of those things. Probably, someday, when I have been perfected, I won't even think of such things. Although Latin actually seems like a useful language to know.

Besides, what does any man know about menstrual problems? Make sure to explain to him in Latin that PMS has successfully been used as a murder defense (No, really, don't do that. Although it has.)

I think Duolingo has free lessons in Latin. Just sayin'
 

Judy4Jesus

Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry, this is just wrong and I'm sorry you are dealing with this! :hug :hug

This guy sounds spiritually off base (cultish, actually) and spiritually abusive and spiritually attacking you. He is (possibly unknowingly) utilizing the tools of our enemy who would love to cut down one of God's precious children, of which I know you are. :) :hug

I personally would avoid him like the plague and simply pray for him, removing myself from all sources of communication that I could. Sounds like any interaction with him is geared to cutting anyone around him down spiritually rather than building people up in Christ-as the bible would instruct us to do. Would you say that you are dealing with someone acting like this:

Some people may contradict our teaching, but these are the wholesome teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. These teachings promote a godly life. Anyone who teaches something different is arrogant and lacks understanding. Such a person has an unhealthy desire to quibble over the meaning of words. This stirs up arguments ending in jealousy, division, slander, and evil suspicions. These people always cause trouble.......1 Tim 6:3-5

If so the Apostle Paul says:

Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge. 1 Tim 6:20

Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. 2 Tim 2:16

Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 2 Tim 2:23-24 Would you say that this person is kind, teachable and patient?

If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them. Titus 3:10-11 This passage is in regards those promoting so called spiritual guidance in regards to spiritual pedigrees or obedience to Jewish laws, but the principle here is don't tolerate spiritual teachings that are contrary to the Gospel or are unnecessary spiritually. Paul says in vs 9: ......These things are useless and a waste of time. So, don't waste your time.


Titus 3:2 speaks on how a person in Christ should be know for, or growing into:
Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience.

And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught.
Romans 16:17

I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. 1 Cor 5:11



There's other 'stay away from" passages you could look at as well. I'm just giving you some scriptures to stand on if they apply to your situation.

It sounds like you and the others have chatted with him quite a bit but to no avail, at this point leaving him in God's hands, pray for him and stay away from him as much as you can. It may come up in conversation with the others and you can simply point to these scriptures that you are following and praying for this man.

I would also caution you in making sure you are physically safe as well. Spiritually abusive people can also be physically abusive as well. Not saying this guy is heading down that path, but they can go hand in hand. Be kind, courteous, pray for him, avoid conversation with him and stay away. Let God deal with His heart.

You know your own heart that you are saved and have God's Holy Spirit within you. It's your faith in Christ that saves and last time I checked in Galatians as to what the fruit of the Holy Spirit is this is what it says: But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galations 5:22-23 Don't see anything there about speaking in tongues to prove that one has the Holy Spirit.

:pray
Excellent post/advice!
 

Accepted

Well-Known Member
Wait... this guy says you’re demon-possessed, and has an opinion on your menstrual issues? How on earth does he know something so personal, and feels he can voice his opinions on it? Big red flags here!! As you probably know, there are some delusional males out there who twist Scripture to justify their wanting to think any male has authority over any female, and, as Everlasting Life said, this guy sounds like he could be over the edge, even physically unsafe. Maybe not, but take no chances. Have nothing to do with him, lock your doors, share this with someone there you trust, and get pepper spray or a “personal safety device” from Amazon that emits a loud alarm. Block him from texting you. He’s inappropriate and sounds unhinged to me. I’ll lift you up to the Lord now. Don’t be afraid, just be smart!
 

athenasius

Well-Known Member
Wait... this guy says you’re demon-possessed, and has an opinion on your menstrual issues? How on earth does he know something so personal, and feels he can voice his opinions on it? Big red flags here!! As you probably know, there are some delusional males out there who twist Scripture to justify their wanting to think any male has authority over any female, and, as Everlasting Life said, this guy sounds like he could be over the edge, even physically unsafe. Maybe not, but take no chances. Have nothing to do with him, lock your doors, share this with someone there you trust, and get pepper spray or a “personal safety device” from Amazon that emits a loud alarm. Block him from texting you. He’s inappropriate and sounds unhinged to me. I’ll lift you up to the Lord now. Don’t be afraid, just be smart!
What Accepted said, and what EvLife above said. Tall Timbers and Nemophilist are right too. Wisdom there Cireth. You are our cherished sister in the Lord, and we all want you to stay safe. They are all right. Peanuts gave me a chuckle, and I hope you laughed thru the tears a bit and her humour lightened your heart but seriously, this guy is a nutbar, and not safe. Maybe not even a Christian by the beliefs he is spouting.

Please take care.

We love you!
 

TeeTee

Well-Known Member
Sometimes people have to be shunned. He sounds like he can not shut up. Do not give an ear. Tell him you and him disagree and no futher discussion is needed. These type of intrusive people are very wicked and demand an audience. Lock your door. Count your possesions. Hopefully if no one engages in any conversation with him, the Landlord will get so sick of him and show him out the door. I would definitely complain. He is intrusive and disruptive. He is not showing you and godly behavior or brotherly love. Avoid any engagement. No favors, rides, help, money etc. He has not earned anything.
 

Círeth

Well-Known Member
Everlasting Life, Tall Timbers and Athenasius, Billy and Nancy. I appreciate your concern and I love you all too. :bighug I don't think he's physically dangerous. I think he's been deluded into a cult but is genuinely seeking after God. He has said some weird and off-beam things about menstruation but he's originally from Nigeria, came over when he was a child, and when I asked what he actually knew about it he knew nothing, so that doesn't surprise me at all. I keep my housemates informed of my menstrual issues because my menses are completely random timing wise and they're so heavy they leave me housebound for up to 24 days at a time whilst wearing me out so mcuh I often sleep twelve to sixteen hours. Doctors have been of limited help before anyone says that. They've done all the tests barring an MRI and can't find anything structurally or hormonally wrong which is incredibly frustrating. Medication is also of limited help. Camomile or ginger tea and ceylon cinnamon have been of more help than medications. If I could just grab the hem of the Lord's cloak....

Anyway I digress. I always try to be kind to him anyway, but I know if he ever did get angry that a kind word turneth away wrath. I've seen people who are completely steamed at me, during pro-life protests, calm right down when I speak to them in a kind, calm, gentle manner. He has a lot of nightmares which he seems to think are warnings from God. Something's got it's claws in him methinks. It breaks my heart when he's not riling me up. He keeps saying people need to get the spirit, that the spirit will show them things, and he believes we can become free from sin and perfect while mortal. Yep. I know. (Is there a throw your hands up in the air emoji?) He's really looking forward to a church (cult?) meeting he's going to in Germany in August. He says all the time that he's going to come back changed; he'll be sinless and perfect, etc. I think he's just going to come back crushed. We won't be perfect until we get our glorified bodies.

Actually Peanuts I do wear black all the time (except for my pjs) because I feel most comfortable wearing black, I prefer silver, platinum or white gold because it goes better with my colouring than yellow gold, and I also wear a crucifix to remind myself of the awful cost required to put paid to the old Cireth; whereas a cross reminds me that it is finished I wear a crucifix so as not to get complacent. It's a small crucifix though. I don't speak latin beyond a few words but that's hilarious. :D So as to the rest of it ummm, oops?! It doesn't bother anyone else normally they don't look at outward appearance but at my heart; they just see me as a bit quirky but love me anyway. :)

I prefer to be a purry lap lioness, as much as one can be without squishing folks, and I'm tired of sparring with him. I am praying for him and I always lock my door. Although that's more because my parents house has no lockable doors, never has, and my family has an irritating habit of knocking twice then barging in regardless; so I relish the opportunity to do that now.
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
Well, I must admit there was a protective mama type lioness that came out a little bit in me when reading your post. :hug I did not mean to stir up more concern for your safety than possibly merited....but, was a little concerned and thought I'd mention being alert and careful. There's been a few on my end with the types of belief's you described that I've had to be very cautious of...so thus my post. :hug

I'm :pray ing for you in regards to this situation, your health (how's your potassium levels & have you tried milk thistle?) and for this young man that God would show His truth clearly to him and cause him to understand. :nod I can see why you and the others are trying to be very patient with this person. And...I can see where you were needing some support.

:pray
 

mattfivefour

Administrator
Staff member
@Everlasting Life has given you good advice. For that matter so has everyone else (though obviously take some of what Peanuts says as tongue in cheek. While Satan clearly is using his zeal and lack of wisdom, he seems to think he is sound and you and others are deluded and controlled by Satan when it is he who is deluded and used by Satan. Obviously he has had no sound biblical teaching but rather the misused and twisted scriptures that cults love to use. That type of pseudo-Christianity is common in Nigeria ... for that matter all of Africa. I pray you or someone can reach him with the true Gospel.
 

Work4Peanuts

Well-Known Member
Please take everything I said earlier as tongue-in-cheek. (Except of course the part where I said I was praying for you. That's genuine.) No one should learn Latin unless they want to, or it's required for classes. I love trying to learn new languages and Latin is on the list for me, but it's lower than say, Biblical Hebrew and Greek. And wearing black is just practical with your issues.

I really am so sorry that you have to go through dealing with this on top of your health issues. You have gotten good advice. Several things have been helping me: drinking turmeric tea daily has helped me regulate cycles, regular exercise helps with the severity, and on days when there is a good chance that I am short on iron, and other minerals because they are exiting my body, two tablespoons of blackstrap molasses in hot milk with that ginger and cinnamon really helps. It tastes like drinking a gingerbread cookie. Blackstrap molasses has a lot of trace minerals. You might call it treacle where you're from.
 

pixelpusher

Well-Known Member
Cireth the gentle lap-lioness, the only Latin you need, which you know, is “Via, Veritas, Vita”. This dude needs “caveat emptor”, that is, “buyer beware”, in addition to the Way the Truth and the Life. Turn him on to Dave Hunt’s writings over at the Berean Call. They helped me study and find the way out of the WOF/charismania nonsense.
 

Círeth

Well-Known Member
Thank you everyone. I have a feeling my most frequent prayers will be for patience and strength for the foreseeable future but I don't want to give up on him. I am not going to give up on praying for him. I will direct him to the Berean Call. That's a good idea.

I will ask the doctor to check my potassium if they haven't already. You used to have give a form with the tests required to the nurse or phlebotomy reception before getting your blood drawn but not anymore; the forms went digital a few months ago so I'm not sure whether my potassium levels have been tested or not. Regardless bananas are always yummy whether one needs their potassium or not. Eating more bananas would definitely not be a hardship. :) I have never heard of milk thistle as a supplement before but will look into it. I have avoided turmeric as I am slightly iron deficient and it can lower iron levels but I will look into it further. I eat more red meat and iron rich veggies with vit c to help absorb the extra iron during my period. Blackstrap molasses I've vaguely heard of and will investigate; that does sound yummy. (Edit: It is black treacle! Treacle is healthy! Hallelujah I can eat it without guilt! :D ) I am also more active now in an effort to get my weight down, which I can finally do after coming off the pill, which was making me gain and retain weight, and not helping me anyway. I didn't change my diet but lost a lot of weight after coming off it and my mental health improved a lot too. I actually came down a dress size before it stabilised, it's ridiculous that it made me put that much weight on, and while I'm unfortunately still overweight I am so please I can actually lose weight now so I finally bit the bullet and joined my local gym a few months ago; and I found out I actually love it when I can exercise at my own pace and push my limits without being forced to overdo it. I have low muscle tone because of my dyspraxia and school PE lessons made me loathe exercise both because I could never keep up and because of the bullying jock girls body shaming everyone else. It's been quite the revelation that no one looks twice at other people in the gym and are more likely to encourage you than say anything else. I love that; that's how it should be in schools.
 
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