Very few families are able to care for a loved one with dementia. It can be done for the first few years, but in the advanced stages, most will need to be placed in a memory care facility. Family Caregivers usually break long before end stage dementia. Older spouses who try and care for the one with dementia, often times die first from the 24/7 stress of caregiving.Mom was home until we could no longer take care of her safely. She had dementia and had gotten violent. and needed constant supervision so she wouldn't fall or do "stupid" or dangerous stuff. There are just some things that I wouldn't do to my Mom that were reasonable to do to a resisting, combative felony suspect.
Besides a couple of hospitals, Mom ended up in three excellent facilities (one regular nursing home and two memory care nursing home), where she got great care
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cheeky200386
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That's sad but true. It's just awful to see. My maternal grandmother has dimentia and it was killing my grandfather. My mom and her siblings were able to get a 24 hour nurse to help so it's not on him. Unfortunately, they live in the Dominican Republic so my mom and aunt can't be there to help physically. Their two brothers work full time with kids so they can only visit so much.
I saw my Paternal grandmother and great aunt care for my great grandma with Alzheimer's. That was awful. They eventually got a nurse to help too. It was too much for just them two. Thankfully my grandmother was able to have a few years of freedom after my great grandmother passed away. My grandmother was still healthy and active when she passed in her 80's. That's how I want to go. Healthy and active until the end.
Ghoti Ichthus
Pray so they do not serve alone. Ephesians 6:10-20
Even "kids" that caregive elderly parents, with and without dementia, often end up with serious medical and mental health issues due to the stress, exhaustion, inevitable neglect of one's self, etc. The suicide rate among unpaid Senior female non-spouse caregivers of older (Senior or Elderly) male family members has been reported as high as one in three. Many of those suicides are disguised by the victim so as not to cause extra pain to family left behind.
The first time we tried to get an ambulance to take Mom to the hospital, the ambulance crew flat-out refused, and they lied on top of that. Law enforcement officers that showed up with the ambulance were useless, too
Everyone's attitude toward Dad and me was horrible. I would have been fired if I had treated anyone like we were treated.
The next week, before calling the ambulance when Mom needed to go to the ER again, I called the ER, first. I got the name and title of the person that said she needed to come in, and to have the ambulance transport her because it wasn't safe for us to drive her in. When the same ambulance crew and law enforcement officers showed up again, they started in on the "we've been through this before" song-and-dance, but it changed immediately when I told them XXX at the ER said Mom needed to come in, and it needed to be by ambulance. Mom ended up hospitalized from the ER, and from there went to the first nursing home.
pixelpusher
Well-Known Member
Similar struggles with my Gran with dementia, that was a harrowing and extremely sad stretch of years. Thankfully she got saved a couple years before her brain went haywire. She was one tough cookie, can't wait for you all to meet her!