One year later, and I think I’m getting my closeness to The Lord back

amystery

Well-Known Member
This week makes a year since my FIL died, and I’ll be honest, this past year really got me down. When my MIL died, it was instant and we barely had an hour to pray for The Lord to spare her life. We really began with praying for peace, and we got it. With my FIL, he was in the hospital for weeks with the thing we can’t escape these days, and again, being completely honest, the amount of praying we did was exhausting. Maybe that is wrong to say, but it was. Don’t get me wrong, I am forever eternally grateful that I have the ability to pray to The Father in Jesus’s name!
After all of the prayers, and him still dying, I think the thing I walked away with though was a lot of questions:
- What’s the point of praying if God already knows how it’s going to end?
- What’s the point of praying to spare someone’s life if our days are already numbered?
- Would he have died that day regardless if it was from that virus or falling and hitting his head in the shower? If so, again, what‘s the point of praying?
The Big One
- Did I not have enough faith when I prayed that it caused The Lord to not answer my prayer? Was it my lack of faith that caused this to go this way? My husband has been wondering this about himself this past year as well.

Well, this weekend I think (and I will ask that if I’m misinterpreting all of wrong, please let me know!) The Lord might have smacked me upside the head, which I’ve been needing.
We pray to have relationship with Him, and we get so focused on what we’re asking for that we sometimes miss out on the blessings you didn’t even ask for- you know, like the peace that surpasses all understanding! If I get too caught up in the “what’s the point” mentality, I can miss out on the blessings I don’t ask for, and the closeness. I have felt a distance from The Lord this year, and it’s because my prayer life has been pretty quiet comparatively to where it was a year and a half ago.
And, another big thing, I think I realized that I sometimes mistook my faith in Jesus with my faith in our fellow man! That was key for me! I think I mistook my lack of faith in my fellow man as a lack of faith in Jesus! The truth is, it’s okay that I was scared that these doctors wouldn’t be able to save my FIL, they are after all, only human! That didn’t mean that I doubted that Jesus couldn’t have raised him out of that hospital bed if that is what He wanted to do, if that was His perfect plan. This realization is changing how I pray. I’m trying really hard to separate us mere mortals from Jesus! I think I’m allowed to be scared without it being a sign of being “ye of little faith.” Am I right in thinking this way? Do you think I am headed the right direction here? If not, I would love some better directions from my smarter friends on here! Regardless if I need some correction or not, I am thankful that I feel that I’m headed back to that closeness I have so badly missed this year!
 

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Active Member
I truly feel for (and with) you in this awful situation.... I have also experienced the absolute despair of losing a loved one despite (what I thought was) effective, fervent prayer and have ended up with lots of questions.

It is imperative that we avoid the 'rabbit hole' of questioning everything! An experienced preacher once said that if we insist on getting answers to our questions (when God in His sovereignty is not obliged to explain Himself) we will never reach the place of peace, joy and hope!

I know that sometimes it feels like our prayers are weak and hollow and bouncing off the ceiling - but God's Word assures us that He instantly hears our prayers!

Sometimes it feels like He is ambivalent about the outcome of our prayers but His Word assures us that He has a plan for us and this this plan is to prosper us and help us to complete our race!

We may become discouraged because what we deem to be the most obvious, right outcome does not happen but God's Word assures us that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes - in our own, selfish wisdom we are simply unable to see (or understand or appreciate) the ultimate picture which sees God's will being carried out until His Kingdom comes!

I have found that the best starting point to achieving (again) a closer experience of God's presence is to repent for my shortcomings (including questioning or berating God), to confess my abject need for His grace and lovingkindness in all the circumstances of my life and to praise (and worship) Him despite my broken, human feelings - and He will always turn my mourning (back) into singing!

If you need to, look for and write down a list of the many (infallible) promises He has made to you in His Word and read over these constantly until the voice of the enemy is totally drowned out!
 

mattfivefour

Administrator
Staff member
I truly feel for (and with) you in this awful situation.... I have also experienced the absolute despair of losing a loved one despite (what I thought was) effective, fervent prayer and have ended up with lots of questions.

It is imperative that we avoid the 'rabbit hole' of questioning everything! An experienced preacher once said that if we insist on getting answers to our questions (when God in His sovereignty is not obliged to explain Himself) we will never reach the place of peace, joy and hope!

I know that sometimes it feels like our prayers are weak and hollow and bouncing off the ceiling - but God's Word assures us that He instantly hears our prayers!

Sometimes it feels like He is ambivalent about the outcome of our prayers but His Word assures us that He has a plan for us and this this plan is to prosper us and help us to complete our race!

We may become discouraged because what we deem to be the most obvious, right outcome does not happen but God's Word assures us that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes - in our own, selfish wisdom we are simply unable to see (or understand or appreciate) the ultimate picture which sees God's will being carried out until His Kingdom comes!

I have found that the best starting point to achieving (again) a closer experience of God's presence is to repent for my shortcomings (including questioning or berating God), to confess my abject need for His grace and lovingkindness in all the circumstances of my life and to praise (and worship) Him despite my broken, human feelings - and He will always turn my mourning (back) into singing!

If you need to, look for and write down a list of the many (infallible) promises He has made to you in His Word and read over these constantly until the voice of the enemy is totally drowned out!
Excellent input, Ken.
 
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