Need advice on my marriage

cryo

Member
Hi, Ladies,

I am a man, and I hope it is okay to join your space here, but I really feel like I need women’s advice due to the circumstances. If you were on the old Rapture Ready forums, you might remember the first part of my story from there. Sorry for the lengthy post, but a lot is happening.

Long story short, my wife of almost 20 years is struggling with being faithful to me. What started as a 6-month physical and emotional affair with a co-worker 6 years ago (but no sex with him she adamantly claims-“only” kissing and sexting) has now shifted to cyber infidelity, with her in July of this year posting a graphic photo of herself to an inappropriate chat group on the Kik app which I found on her phone, and just last weekend posting even more graphic photos of herself to a chat thread, again on the Kik app I made her delete in July after I almost ended our marriage over it.

In one of the new photos, so much of her face is showing she is easily recognizable, and she shot it in her office! She even used her own first name as her screen name! She is lucky she did not lose her job, and she just got a big promotion this year! I am scared about the escalation of her risky behavior. Then, she started sexting with 3 different men last weekend after they contacted her after they enjoyed her photos, and she sent one a graphic video of herself, told a second one what a horrible husband I am and that we never have sex (which is a complete lie), and the third one she was sexting while literally lying right next to me in bed! She even joked about it with the guy and told him she did not care! Thankfully, God told me to check her phone about an hour after she posted all this, I saw everything, and she deleted her Kik account and deleted the Kik app (again), so all traces of the photo, video, and chats are gone. I guarantee several men saved those photos of her before that though. Nothing I can do about that.

Now, she is a drop dead gorgeous woman, and looks very young for her age, so it is very easy for her to get men’s attention. She knows she has that effect on men. I have always felt uneasy because of it, even before her first affair. That is what she told me this week she wants: attention. She sadly feels like I do not give her enough, even though I really try to, and she feels I am pushing her away, which I will take ownership of, as I sometimes take out my anxiety and fears on her too easily. It has been a very stressful past year+ with the pandemic and our crazy busy lives with us both working full-time and our kids’ activities literally consuming most of our free time each week.

I caught her easily both times by looking at her phone, as she freely gives me her passcode. It is as if she does not care I catch her, does not care about my feelings, and does not have any self-respect anymore. I am obviously devastated, and after telling her we were done, and talking/fighting for five hours overnight, I just couldn’t bring myself to leave the next morning. I just could not do it to our kids, and I love my wife so much, I just don’t want to lose her, because when things are good with us, they are really good. She says she loves me too. I don’t know whether to believe her or not anymore.

She was a rape victim when she was a young adult, possibly gang raped (she does not know because she was drugged), and she was impregnated during it and gave birth to a beautiful daughter, whom she made the brave choice to keep and I later was able to adopt after we married. Our daughter is a beautiful, kind college student now. My wife admitted this week she has never really dealt properly with her rape, and I wonder if this might have anything to do with her destructive behavior recently.

We are starting couples therapy in two weeks, which we did after the physical affair years ago and helped us a lot, and she is seeking out an individual therapist to deal with what she calls her self-destructive behavior. I told her I would support her through this.

I want to ask you all, is there any hope for us? How many chances do I give a serial cheater? I do not believe in divorce, but she is hurting me mentally and even physically with her behavior. We are both Christians, and we attend church as a family. But this is not normal behavior for a Christian wife and mom in her early 40s, and I am very concerned about her. I do not know what to do and appreciate any advice you can give me. I have not told a soul about this in my daily life because it is so embarrassing.

Thank you for your time to read all this! God bless you!
 

Jonathan

Well-Known Member
Cryo,

I feel for you and God Bless. I will be praying for you. I've never been married and still don't understand women (although it is important to say that woman certainly are NOT all the same).

A lot of people on this board have biblical knowledge, experience, and may have even been what you are going through now. I defer to them. Pick their brains and don't leave anything off the table

In the mean time, my God Bless you.

Jonathan
 

cryo

Member
^Thank you. It is just all so confusing. It is like she has turned into a completely different person I don’t even know. In our daily life, she is a hard worker, amazing at her job, a leader in many walks of our life, a strong people person, great at conflict resolution. People really like her. If you met her, you would have no idea she could be doing these things. Deep down inside I know she is a good person. Just, as she told me, lost right now.
 

Matthew6:33

Withstand in the evil day. Eph 6:13
This is a very complex situation. It seems infidelity, selfishness, dishonesty and pride are all at work here. Powerful stuff that did not just appear over night.

God has given you a great trial but if you seek Him, He will lead you in the right path, wherever it is. That is the only way.

My life verse is:

Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, everything else will be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

Trying as best I can to live out this verse has gotten me through many great trials. You will need to completely immerse yourself in the Word, worship music, listen to sermons daily, even join a fellowship group. These will help you choose to do the supernatural when the days of battle arise.

Put on your armor and know who your real enemy is - he is trying to destroy you and your wife and your kids.

There is always hope with God.
 

cryo

Member
This is a very complex situation. It seems infidelity, selfishness, dishonesty and pride are all at work here. Powerful stuff that did not just appear over night.

God has given you a great trial but if you seek Him, He will lead you in the right path, wherever it is. That is the only way.

My life verse is:

Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, everything else will be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

Trying as best I can to live out this verse has gotten me through many great trials. You will need to completely immerse yourself in the Word, worship music, listen to sermons daily, even join a fellowship group. These will help you choose to do the supernatural when the days of battle arise.

Put on your armor and know who your real enemy is - he is trying to destroy you and your wife and your kids.

There is always hope with God.
Thank you very much for that verse! I agree all those things are in play, and I agree it did not happen overnight.
 

Reason & Hope

Well-Known Member
I am so sorry that you're going through this! She sounds like she wants to get caught (at least subconsciously) --using her own name, photos of her face and office, etc.

The number one thing she needs is individual Christian counseling. She has not dealt with the rape, she seems not to feel worthy of the nice and good life you have, and so she's sabotaging it.

Maybe the only way for her to get counseling is to begin with couples counseling, but a good counselor is going to see pretty quickly that she needs individual counseling. I hope your church can recommend someone.

Praying for you!
 

yeshua'sbride

♥ Standing with Israel
Hi, Ladies,

I am a man, and I hope it is okay to join your space here, but I really feel like I need women’s advice due to the circumstances. If you were on the old Rapture Ready forums, you might remember the first part of my story from there. Sorry for the lengthy post, but a lot is happening.

Long story short, my wife of almost 20 years is struggling with being faithful to me. What started as a 6-month physical and emotional affair with a co-worker 6 years ago (but no sex with him she adamantly claims-“only” kissing and sexting) has now shifted to cyber infidelity, with her in July of this year posting a graphic photo of herself to an inappropriate chat group on the Kik app which I found on her phone, and just last weekend posting even more graphic photos of herself to a chat thread, again on the Kik app I made her delete in July after I almost ended our marriage over it.

In one of the new photos, so much of her face is showing she is easily recognizable, and she shot it in her office! She even used her own first name as her screen name! She is lucky she did not lose her job, and she just got a big promotion this year! I am scared about the escalation of her risky behavior. Then, she started sexting with 3 different men last weekend after they contacted her after they enjoyed her photos, and she sent one a graphic video of herself, told a second one what a horrible husband I am and that we never have sex (which is a complete lie), and the third one she was sexting while literally lying right next to me in bed! She even joked about it with the guy and told him she did not care! Thankfully, God told me to check her phone about an hour after she posted all this, I saw everything, and she deleted her Kik account and deleted the Kik app (again), so all traces of the photo, video, and chats are gone. I guarantee several men saved those photos of her before that though. Nothing I can do about that.

Now, she is a drop dead gorgeous woman, and looks very young for her age, so it is very easy for her to get men’s attention. She knows she has that effect on men. I have always felt uneasy because of it, even before her first affair. That is what she told me this week she wants: attention. She sadly feels like I do not give her enough, even though I really try to, and she feels I am pushing her away, which I will take ownership of, as I sometimes take out my anxiety and fears on her too easily. It has been a very stressful past year+ with the pandemic and our crazy busy lives with us both working full-time and our kids’ activities literally consuming most of our free time each week.

I caught her easily both times by looking at her phone, as she freely gives me her passcode. It is as if she does not care I catch her, does not care about my feelings, and does not have any self-respect anymore. I am obviously devastated, and after telling her we were done, and talking/fighting for five hours overnight, I just couldn’t bring myself to leave the next morning. I just could not do it to our kids, and I love my wife so much, I just don’t want to lose her, because when things are good with us, they are really good. She says she loves me too. I don’t know whether to believe her or not anymore.

She was a rape victim when she was a young adult, possibly gang raped (she does not know because she was drugged), and she was impregnated during it and gave birth to a beautiful daughter, whom she made the brave choice to keep and I later was able to adopt after we married. Our daughter is a beautiful, kind college student now. My wife admitted this week she has never really dealt properly with her rape, and I wonder if this might have anything to do with her destructive behavior recently.

We are starting couples therapy in two weeks, which we did after the physical affair years ago and helped us a lot, and she is seeking out an individual therapist to deal with what she calls her self-destructive behavior. I told her I would support her through this.

I want to ask you all, is there any hope for us? How many chances do I give a serial cheater? I do not believe in divorce, but she is hurting me mentally and even physically with her behavior. We are both Christians, and we attend church as a family. But this is not normal behavior for a Christian wife and mom in her early 40s, and I am very concerned about her. I do not know what to do and appreciate any advice you can give me. I have not told a soul about this in my daily life because it is so embarrassing.

Thank you for your time to read all this! God bless you!
Could there be any alcohol or drug use that’s contributing to this type of behavior? I know for some people it can cause them to do stuff they wouldn’t do if they were straight. Might be worth checking into.
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
Oh, boy. This is so tough! I'm sorry this is happening.


We are starting couples therapy in two weeks, which we did after the physical affair years ago and helped us a lot, and she is seeking out an individual therapist to deal with what she calls her self-destructive behavior. I told her I would support her through this.


This is really good step! It's so difficult in that you are dealing with the sin of another person committed against your wife and resulting sin.

Cryo, I know this is hard to not think that you are the cause in any way, rather it sure sounds like the root of this is very much unresolved issues with what happened to your wife as a young person. There may be some inadvertent triggers (and the therapist can help with this) but don't put on yourself that you are somehow a failure as a husband and father. From what you are sharing it sounds like you are a faithful husband and caring father who's dealing with an real imbalance in a marriage partner. The fact that you are desiring to continue to come along side your wife and walk with her in healing is a real testament of Christ like love for your wife. And the fact that she's willing to seek counsel is a huge positive.

Quite often in a situation like your wife's, a person was made to feel that they are the ones at fault for the rape, that they are less than human and even deserving of this kind of behavior by the perpatrater. Unfortunately this message gets deeply rooted in the mind of the victim and acting out is a real challenge. In addition, to deal with the pain or tough life circumstances she may be using her issue as a stress relief/thrill seeking/or a way for her to 'check out'. As a result, reality can be very skewed, including unrealistic expectations for a marriage partner and a lack of healthy coping skill to life challenges.

It also sounds like underneath this challenge is a mom and wife trying to be a normal one but dealing with a real weight that's getting in the way.

I think you are doing the right thing by lovingly holding her accountable by getting help from a therapist who can help her navigate. I also think that talking with the Therapist together on other ways your wife can stay accountable is good....not only with you, the Therapist but perhaps a good, praying friend that is trustworthy and of good character (that she can initiate). Something else to consider or seek God's guidance and insight in, is if she's also dealing with any mental issues. For instance, sometimes those with ADD (not all) will put themselves in risky situations in order to up the needed dopamine that their brains are not making. Not saying this is the case but be praying for God's help in revealing if there's anything else ticking that you and your wife are not aware of.

I know that this is an embarrassing issue for you but we all live in a fallen world and we all find ourselves dealing with sin and it's effects, so, you are not alone. I wonder how trusting you are of your pastor and if he's safe enough to sit down and chat with him and seek prayers and counsel? It may be that he knows of a good support group for you to be able to join. Also, don't hesitate to start a prayer thread here for this situation.

The good news is that where we are encountering a storm or things that overwhelm us, Jesus is right here with us, has a plan, deeply understands what you are facing and the fears you have. Know that you can go to Him and trust that He'll help you navigate this. Keep praying for your marriage, your wife and your family. I'll be adding my :pray ers as well.

:pray
 

Cloud Watcher

Well-Known Member
Might want to include a thorough medical exam. There may be some kind of disfunction, tumor, or other thing going on inside her brain or body.
 

cryo

Member
I am so sorry that you're going through this! She sounds like she wants to get caught (at least subconsciously) --using her own name, photos of her face and office, etc.

The number one thing she needs is individual Christian counseling. She has not dealt with the rape, she seems not to feel worthy of the nice and good life you have, and so she's sabotaging it.

Maybe the only way for her to get counseling is to begin with couples counseling, but a good counselor is going to see pretty quickly that she needs individual counseling. I hope your church can recommend someone.

Praying for you!
It does seem like she wants to get caught. In fact, she left the Kik
page open on her phone! I just thank God for giving me the intuition to check her phone, and we got her account closed and all that smut gone about an hour after she posted it. She has a lead on an individual counselor, actually it is one who worked with one of my daughters from my first marriage years ago. She specializes in the areas my wife needs and is at the same facility as our couples counselor. Our couples counselor is a Christian, thankfully, which we really need right now. Thanks for your thoughts!
 

cryo

Member
Could there be any alcohol or drug use that’s contributing to this type of behavior? I know for some people it can cause them to do stuff they wouldn’t do if they were straight. Might be worth checking into.
Unless she is doing something in secret, we very rarely drink and have not had any alocohol in our house in months. She never appears under the influence to me and has never done drugs that I know of. Thank you for your ideas, though!
 

cryo

Member
Oh, boy. This is so tough! I'm sorry this is happening.





This is really good step! It's so difficult in that you are dealing with the sin of another person committed against your wife and resulting sin.

Cryo, I know this is hard to not think that you are the cause in any way, rather it sure sounds like the root of this is very much unresolved issues with what happened to your wife as a young person. There may be some inadvertent triggers (and the therapist can help with this) but don't put on yourself that you are somehow a failure as a husband and father. From what you are sharing it sounds like you are a faithful husband and caring father who's dealing with an real imbalance in a marriage partner. The fact that you are desiring to continue to come along side your wife and walk with her in healing is a real testament of Christ like love for your wife. And the fact that she's willing to seek counsel is a huge positive.

Quite often in a situation like your wife's, a person was made to feel that they are the ones at fault for the rape, that they are less than human and even deserving of this kind of behavior by the perpatrater. Unfortunately this message gets deeply rooted in the mind of the victim and acting out is a real challenge. In addition, to deal with the pain or tough life circumstances she may be using her issue as a stress relief/thrill seeking/or a way for her to 'check out'. As a result, reality can be very skewed, including unrealistic expectations for a marriage partner and a lack of healthy coping skill to life challenges.

It also sounds like underneath this challenge is a mom and wife trying to be a normal one but dealing with a real weight that's getting in the way.

I think you are doing the right thing by lovingly holding her accountable by getting help from a therapist who can help her navigate. I also think that talking with the Therapist together on other ways your wife can stay accountable is good....not only with you, the Therapist but perhaps a good, praying friend that is trustworthy and of good character (that she can initiate). Something else to consider or seek God's guidance and insight in, is if she's also dealing with any mental issues. For instance, sometimes those with ADD (not all) will put themselves in risky situations in order to up the needed dopamine that their brains are not making. Not saying this is the case but be praying for God's help in revealing if there's anything else ticking that you and your wife are not aware of.

I know that this is an embarrassing issue for you but we all live in a fallen world and we all find ourselves dealing with sin and it's effects, so, you are not alone. I wonder how trusting you are of your pastor and if he's safe enough to sit down and chat with him and seek prayers and counsel? It may be that he knows of a good support group for you to be able to join. Also, don't hesitate to start a prayer thread here for this situation.

The good news is that where we are encountering a storm or things that overwhelm us, Jesus is right here with us, has a plan, deeply understands what you are facing and the fears you have. Know that you can go to Him and trust that He'll help you navigate this. Keep praying for your marriage, your wife and your family. I'll be adding my :pray ers as well.

:pray
Thank you so much for your inspirational words and for taking the time to type out such a long post!

My marriage and family mean everything to me. At home is where I am most at peace. Sadly, my wife recently reported at home is where she is at least amount of peace. We do have a crazy household and life with all our children’s activities and busy jobs, so I kind of get it, but she is seeking relief outside our home and marriage, which scares me.

I have not always been a good husband, and that is something we will discuss at counseling. I often take my stress out on my wife verbally, and she does not deserve that. I criticize her too much. The last two years, with the pandemic, have made work incredibly stressful, and I need to leave those feelings at work. I sometimes as she says push her way, and I need to stop doing that, because it does not help matters.

Speaking of staying by her side, I just can’t leave. I keep telling her we are through every time I catch her infidelity, but I just can’t do it. She means too much to me, and I can’t walk out on our kids. They will be devastated. When we are getting along, things are really good. She tells me she loves me and is in love with me, and I believe her, because she still shows it in so many ways. We have been getting along great since I caught her again, but then eventually we backslide, I become critical again, she cheats on me again, I catch her again, then we enter a honeymoon period. It’s a vicious cycle we need to break. I also know the trauma she suffered before we met and she never dealt with is very hard for her at times, and I want to support her through finally dealing with that. She is an amazing mother to our kids, a great wife when things are good, and I know we can get through this.

Funny you mention, ADD, because guess what? She has it! She is on medication for it that she started a couple years ago, and she says it does wonders for her, but I agree with exactly what you said about it, and how it can cause impulsivity. I brought it up to her this summer after I caught her being unfaithful for the second time. It definitely could be a contributing factor.

We have a brand new pastor and do not know him well yet, but we will keep him in mind as well as a support.

It is all very embarrassing, because if you knew us, you would think we are this great family with a happy couple who love each other and have awesome, well-adjusted kids. And for the most part that is all true. My wife and I just have some big issues we need to get past.

Thank you so much for your prayers!
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
Thank you so much for your inspirational words and for taking the time to type out such a long post!

You're welcome. :)

The last two years, with the pandemic, have made work incredibly stressful, and I need to leave those feelings at work.

Sounds like you've got a good sense of where to help your wife in regards to how you are speaking to her. I think this is important, especially since she may have heard pretty abusive speech when abused. Additionally, those with ADD can be a bit extra sensitive in that department, so that's good to keep in mind.

I know a couple where the husband would take about 10-15 minutes decompressing in the car, sometimes a walk or even talking with a buddy to let off steam before engaging with family to segue into family mode without allowing the stress of work overlap. That was a very helpful thing for him.

Work stress has got to be tough, especially since you seem to have a strong sense of wanting to take care of your family via the job. I imagine that when a family man feels such responsibility to care for the family that it must weigh heavy on the shoulders. I do know that it's a comfort to guys to remember that they are not alone....that Christ is here also and cares for helping you in providing for your family. When I find myself overly worried or stressed I've had to learn to first of all be aware and then second of all, immediately take it to Jesus for His help, not only for His help but also for His peace. After many years of seeing Him work in amazing ways there's been so much more confidence and trust developed in going to Him. Sometimes I have to make a list of the ways He's been taking care of our family as a good reminder to not myopically focus on negative problems but the best solution.....God. However, perhaps it would be good to reach out to the guys on this site to ask for their experience on how they've handled stress like this. I believe it's not uncommon and there's some great, wise gentlemen here that would be lovingly helpful in this area. :)

I wonder if you both can also talk with your therapist on how to carve out some down time for yourselves, with one another and perhaps see where family busyness can be successfully reduced to give that time to you both (perhaps life needs a bit more balance? -I know, kids do put a real crimp in that but even one afternoon a week can really make a difference). And, perhaps brainstorming together fun things you can do, even in this challenging time. This may help her to think of responsible activities that can challenge her in fun ways and create good, positive bonding time with you. Additionally maybe discussing having monthly or bi-monthly check in with one another would be a good proactive approach so as to not let things slide but keep things going in a positive direction.

It sounds like there's some real hope here for your marriage and that you both are stepping in the right direction, recognizing what might need to be addressed.

We'll keep :pray ing that God will help you and her navigate some of these challenges and continue to see where positive changes can be implemented.

:pray
 

cryo

Member
Thank you for your thoughts. I run 5 times a week to keep in shape, clear my head, and get some time to destress and have some time for myself. It does help calm me when I am upset too. When we had the turmoil this summer, I booked a weekend away for just the two of us, something we had not done in many years, and it was wonderful for us. We are literally are so busy with our kids’ activities during the school year that we get maybe 2 hours a week to sit down together. Every other week we have gone 9 straight nights of kids’ activities this fall! It is that busy. Our weekends are also very full. I like your check-in idea, and we actually have done that before, though we have kind of gotten away from it. We are going to work hard at this, because our marriage is in crisis mode, and we both want to repair it. We did it six years ago, and I am praying we can do it again.
 

ChildofLight

Well-Known Member
Thank you for your thoughts. I run 5 times a week to keep in shape, clear my head, and get some time to destress and have some time for myself. It does help calm me when I am upset too. When we had the turmoil this summer, I booked a weekend away for just the two of us, something we had not done in many years, and it was wonderful for us. We are literally are so busy with our kids’ activities during the school year that we get maybe 2 hours a week to sit down together. Every other week we have gone 9 straight nights of kids’ activities this fall! It is that busy. Our weekends are also very full. I like your check-in idea, and we actually have done that before, though we have kind of gotten away from it. We are going to work hard at this, because our marriage is in crisis mode, and we both want to repair it. We did it six years ago, and I am praying we can do it again.
I’m sorry of what you both are going through. I pray the counseling helps. It does sound as if she wants to be caught and may be due to her past rape issue.

I was going to suggest some time away; just the two of you. Perhaps y’all can schedule a date night once a month as well. Perhaps even a date night at home if expense is an issue; nice music and dancing in the living room. I really suggest watching the movie War Room together. An excellent Christian movie.

You mentioned the kids school activities and schedules. Perhaps those kids are also being in too many activities? Putting more stress on you and your wife. Maybe they all plus the two of you need some home time eating together and playing family games and de-stressing that way. No TV or video games. It would also be an example of what a husband and wife should be to your kids.
 

Jan51

Well-Known Member
Where are you both at in your Christian lives? In your commitment to God's Word? In Bible study? In your prayer lives? You say you are both Christians and go to church--can you elaborate on that? What is your definition of Christian?
 

cryo

Member
I’m sorry of what you both are going through. I pray the counseling helps. It does sound as if she wants to be caught and may be due to her past rape issue.

I was going to suggest some time away; just the two of you. Perhaps y’all can schedule a date night once a month as well. Perhaps even a date night at home if expense is an issue; nice music and dancing in the living room. I really suggest watching the movie War Room together. An excellent Christian movie.

You mentioned the kids school activities and schedules. Perhaps those kids are also being in too many activities? Putting more stress on you and your wife. Maybe they all plus the two of you need some home time eating together and playing family games and de-stressing that way. No TV or video games. It would also be an example of what a husband and wife should be to your kids.
We have improved on going out on dates the last couple years now that our kids are getting a little older. We just had a nice lunch date this week, and one a couple weeks ago. Money is no object for us now thankfully. Money used to be a huge stressor for us but that has finally gone away, and it is a blessing.

Our kids each have one main sport/activity they do outside school, so I don’t think they are doing too much, but our son plays travel ice hockey, so we are at the rink a minimum of 5 days a week most of the year except for summer, so that consumes a great deal of our week. He loves it though and is a very good player, so we support him fully.

We are able to eat dinner together as a family most nights thankfully before one or both of us go out with the kids. Sometimes we play together or have a family movie night. We do family outings at times too. It is a very busy household, but the kids are doing well in all walks of life and are happy.

I am going to support her the best I can, because I definitely think she is dealing things that go beyond us. For the most part, we get along well and are happy together. It really is not as bad a marriage as it may sound. We just both have one big issue we need to improve on. I hope our new counselor will help us get through them.
 

cryo

Member
Where are you both at in your Christian lives? In your commitment to God's Word? In Bible study? In your prayer lives? You say you are both Christians and go to church--can you elaborate on that? What is your definition of Christian?
My wife and I both accepted Christ as children/teens and were raised in conservative Christian families. We have both attended church our whole lives, and have been members of our current church for over a decade. We have raised our children as Christians in the church. We eat dinner together most nights and pray over our meal. We attend church often, though at times we have conflicts with kids’ sports/activities that preclude us from attending. We tithe regularly. My wife has appeared to stray somewhat in her faith in recent years, admitting a sort of skepticism I did not use to see in her. She still attends church every time we go though and actively participates in worship. I have never wavered in my faith, as God has brought me through some tremendous hardship in my life. I read the Bible, especially when I am struggling. I am not sure about my wife in that regard. I pray often and hope she does too.
 
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