My son is leaving to basic training and he is not happy

Shannon70

Well-Known Member
He was all excited and looking forward to start basic training up until 2 weeks ago. It was about the time when I told him I needed eye surgery for my cataracts. He told me he was having 2nd thoughts about the Navy and wants to quit. He gave me several reason: our government forcing vaccine mandates (he already had his covid shot), the commitment, and fear of my parents (his grandparents) die while he is away. He was in a real foul mood today. Just did not want to talk. I have to drop him off to his recruiters office tmw. Can anyone tell me if this is normal? Do most people go through this emotions before going to basic training? I really hate to see him unhappy about his decision going into the Navy.
 

Lastcall

Well-Known Member
He was all excited and looking forward to start basic training up until 2 weeks ago. It was about the time when I told him I needed eye surgery for my cataracts. He told me he was having 2nd thoughts about the Navy and wants to quit. He gave me several reason: our government forcing vaccine mandates (he already had his covid shot), the commitment, and fear of my parents (his grandparents) die while he is away. He was in a real foul mood today. Just did not want to talk. I have to drop him off to his recruiters office tmw. Can anyone tell me if this is normal? Do most people go through this emotions before going to basic training? I really hate to see him unhappy about his decision going into the Navy.
Im guessing about half who are about to join are having serious doubts right up to and including shipment date - its normal. The younger they are, the harder it is to leave a nice comfortable home environment, and venture off to the unknown. From my experience as a Marine Drill Instructor, the majority of each platoon I had would of walked away if they legally could have during the first two weeks. However, once they get use to the new and strict environment, pride would not allow them to fail as they all come together as a team. There is no greater feeling then graduation day, knowing they survived it all, and came out on top. Navy bootcamp is not that hard as compared to the Marines or Army.

It sounds like he is digging deep to make excuses why he does not want to go anymore. I would ask him why he initially wanted to join, and focus on that, not all the distractions.

Since he is 2 weeks away, and has not yet took the real oath of enlistment - which is usually taken the day they ship off, then its not yet a legal contract, and he can inform his recruiter he has changed his mind. The recruiter might try and strong arm him, but unless something has drastically changed in the process, he can legally walk away.
 

LoudRam

Well-Known Member
As Andy pointed out its nerves and fear of the unknown. I had them too. In the middle of boot camp I was questioning my decision to join but knowing many others in my family made it through kind of kept me going. I wasn't going to be the one who gave up. If they made I could too.

That said, today's military is very different then when I served. Boot camp is actually easier now. But the entire woke thing bothers me. That would be a legitimate concern. Sadly it's not the same military.

Bottom line, like many things he'll get out of it what he puts into it. Tell him to enjoy the adventure and don't fear. Christ goes with him. I'll be praying for him.
 

kathymendel

Well-Known Member
I hope he will not change his mind. The service can teach a young person so much about becoming a responsible young adult.
My dad and my brother both served in the Navy, and both came out of their four-year stint with so many skills and mindsets that benefitted them
all throughout their lives. A friend's grandson went into the navy last year, and is now stationed in Hawaii and is loving it. I think that looking at it
as an adventure will make it easier for him, too. My prayers will be with him.
 

3 Nails 4 Given

Sinner saved by the blood of Jesus
It’s normal to have doubts about enlisting and boot camp. I got on a bus at the airport with 40 guys I’d never met for a two hour ride to our boot camp. I don’t remember anyone speaking, everyone just kept looking at each other with blank stares. You could tell almost every single guy on that bus was thinking, what did I get myself into?

I know they supposedly can’t put their hands on anybody now, but one of the things I remembered most was a drill instructor at the back of the bus yelling, and one by the driver yelling and giving a kick in the seat of the pants to help you off the bus.

As soon as you came off the bus, several more yelling to expedite movement. After the first few hours of “forming company”, for us were over we went to the chow hall to eat.

Tell him if he goes to just, Listen, don’t speak unless spoken to, and do what he’s told, and never complain. Also tell him to keep paper copies of everything, records and files have a way of getting lost, especially between duty stations.

Enlisting for me, was one of the best decisions I ever made. The Navy has awesome schools. Tell him to take advantage of every school and training session he can get. It
 

Ghoti Ichthus

Pray so they do not serve alone. Ephesians 6:10-20
Spent 20 years in the Army- I'm a crusty old retired Soldier, so sometimes often "tactless" or "blunt"

The time your son spends in service, whether one hitch, or several, will teach him a lot about himself and being a responsible grown-up. Wanting to back out because things that he has no control over (family member health, possible death, etc.) which are a normal part of life, will change, is a symptom of needing to go/become an adult. The Bible stories of Abraham leaving his home and going wherever God led and the Bible commands for a son to leave his parents may be helpful.

No matter the Administration, service to one's country is honorable and teaches pride, loyalty, commitment, courage, life and work skills, and can instill a fierce faith in God, especially when confronted with evil and the non-Christian parts of the world (including many in the military). There are many ministries to people in service. Contact your church/denomination and get your son hooked up with them now before he leaves. Make sure he has a good study Bible and hymnal (great going away gifts, especially if imprinted with his name and the dedication/presentation pages are completed). Make sure he has photos of family (include pets), friends, and favorite places on his phone and they're in the cloud so he can redownload if necessary. A few hard-copy photos of family to put inside his Bible (duplicates in an envelope in the hymnal) are extremely important in case all cell phones are confiscated while in Boot, on alert for deployment, etc. A Bible cover makes not damaging the Bible or damaging/losing the photos much easier. If you can find an itty bitty pocket-sized (preferably zipper closure or get a zipper put in) of the translation he's used to, that would be one of the best gifts he could ever get. A second-hand bookstore or yard sale . . . Seal in a couple of zip-loc baggies before gift wrapping. This is something he can carry with him if the regular-sized Bible is too large for daily carry. Later, a copy of Pigs in the Parlor could be very valuable (it could be a problem in his Boot locker, depending on the Command's rules). If I had not read this book before I went overseas, I would not have understood what was going on or what to do. Send your son his favorite Bible study books after he gets to permanent party. He could pack a carton before he goes so he knows what's coming later. He won''t have space for it at Boot and probably tech training. His space on ship will also be severely limited, so if you can get an electronic book reader and his study materials in digital format, this would be nice and might be better than a carton of books. The electronic book reader is something that he might be able to take with him to Boot, but check first because inspections and confiscations are universal and ruthless/impersonal. The recruiter and MEPS should have a list of required, recommended, not recommended, and prohibited items. If in doubt, he shouldn't take it and you send it later. A hard copy Bible (and hymnal) doesn't require power and is separate from a book reader that might get confiscated, damaged, lost, or stolen, so having is very important. A hand-written note from Mom and Dad, especially reminding they will be praying every day for son will become treasured and a source of comfort/strength during hard times.

While at Boot and all through service, stay involved with Christian Chaplain services/activities (beware of non-Christian Chaplains) and go to Chapel/Church at least weekly, take part in Holy Communion as often as it is offered, participate in Bible study, and keep reading/studying his Bible every day. Let him know not to compromise his faith in God, but make sure he understands obeying those appointed over him as well, how to reconcile, and how to get along with and witness to others within the bounds of what is and is not permitted. Rendering unto Caesar and obeying lawful authority will help immeasurably, especially when the military teaches transgenderism, homosexuality, etc. are acceptable. They may be legal and he has to treat everyone fairly, but he does not have to partake of the sin. He needs to know how to tactfully and clearly decline/refuse all requests/demands for unBiblical dates and conduct. Also defending his faith tactfully and clearly. And know ALL social media, texts, and email are subject to inspection "forever" so don't say anything that could even remotely be misconstrued.

Reference vaccine requirements in the military: the military is not a democracy and the leadership is charged with making sure the fighting force is as ready for deployment as is possible. This includes mandatory shots. Going through Basic Combat Training a b'zillion years ago, I went through multiple shot lines where I got hit with multiple shots in both arms as I walked through (compressed air guns). Hold still and relax so don't get cut. The only exemptions were those with a documented medical or religious issue or previous documented vaccination to something specific. This needs to be done at MEPS at his pre-entry physical, so he needs to take any documentation with him when he goes (also keep digital copy on the cell phone and in the cloud). The doctor at MEPS and later at any duty station can/may override a civilian doctor's recommendation "for the good of the service." If this happens, he probably has no recourse, but he needs to keep a note of who, where, why, location, and date (don't argue or get belligerent about it, and best to do it later away from wherever/whomever so no one else sees/knows). Upload to cloud immediately so if the cell phone is confiscated . . . maybe also delete after uploading.

At Boot, tech training, and permanent party, keep mouth shut, ears open, and cooperate/do one's best in everything, to include being a TEAM PLAYER instead of only being about one's own winning/looking good is important. Anything less will earn group punishment, and one does not want to incur the wrath of the Drill Sergeant (or whatever the Navy calls them) or one's fellow Sailors/trainees.

Assuming your son goes to sea, he will see places and learn a lot about the world that he would/might otherwise never have the opportunity.

"Duty, honor and country," and "for God and country" are still honorable words with great meaning.


:pray :pray :amen :amen
 

Lynn

Longing for Home
He was all excited and looking forward to start basic training up until 2 weeks ago. It was about the time when I told him I needed eye surgery for my cataracts. He told me he was having 2nd thoughts about the Navy and wants to quit. He gave me several reason: our government forcing vaccine mandates (he already had his covid shot), the commitment, and fear of my parents (his grandparents) die while he is away. He was in a real foul mood today. Just did not want to talk. I have to drop him off to his recruiters office tmw. Can anyone tell me if this is normal? Do most people go through this emotions before going to basic training? I really hate to see him unhappy about his decision going into the Navy.
Your post was written on Monday. Has he come to a decision regarding whether or not to follow through with the Navy?
 

Shannon70

Well-Known Member
Your post was written on Monday. Has he come to a decision regarding whether or not to follow through with the Navy?
Yes, he did not go to basic training. He up and went to florida that day without telling anyone. I was just shocked and confused what he did. He said he wasn't ready... He is coming back home tmw (on his 19th birthday).

I thought what he was feeling was normal and he would go anyways. :(
 

Lynn

Longing for Home
Yes, he did not go to basic training. He up and went to florida that day without telling anyone. I was just shocked and confused what he did. He said he wasn't ready... He is coming back home tmw (on his 19th birthday)
Even though time in the military is a tremendously honorable pursuit, it isn't a life that is a 100% good fit for everyone. As you've read here at Rapture Forums, we have some members here who faithfully served a number of years, some even long enough to retire. I'm sure thankful for their service. However, in your son's case perhaps he would do better to look into a career path that would allow him to serve others in a local setting. He sounds like a loving compassionate young man. We have a granddaughter who's a little older than your son, and she's finishing up a program in the local junior college, & in less than a year from now, she will be an occupational therapy assistant. She wants to serve others, but not be far away from family. If your son would check out the local Jr. college and see what might be a good fit for him, he could take another look at the military later, if he's so inclined. If not, that's ok, he would have certification in something else ready to go in a different direction if that's his choice. This way, he would have some options. Wishing him the best (& you). :hug
 

Channah

Well-Known Member
My son just came back from "there" building and helping the community" while they were "doing other stuff". The military is not for everyone but it sure does help with college expenses by getting an education without going into debt.

I think you son did the right thing and if he's not ready, he would be miserable and not make a good sailor. When the timing is right, I think he would let you know.

Praying and God's blessings to you and your son.
 
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