Mom Fears

MapleLeaf

Well-Known Member
Is there any chance there is still some lingering post partum depression or hormones? Your child is still pretty young and it can last a few years. I had it with both kids and really bad with the second. With my oldest my fixation was primarily on my husband leaving me which was entirely unfounded. It didn't last long. With my daughter I was CONVINCED social services was coming to falsely accuse me and take my kids away and put them in a non-Christian home. I was also paranoid about home break-ins and abductions. Once I got the depression under control a lot of those fears subsided...at least to manageable levels. But it took several years.

My son was always a flight risk so we also had a safety harness on him. I only got a rude comment once. I actually got a lot of "where did you get that and how much was it?" questions. LOL I would have him on the leash and his sister in the stroller. With only one vehicle I generally only go out with my husband anyways. But I have gone to the city a few time on my own and, before Covid, would fly out to my parents just myself and the kids.

I'm near the border and our rural communities can often be the target of human traffickers too. I have yet to let my kids go out to the corner store on their own. They haven't ever asked so I never thought of it but recently a friend said she let her kids do it and they're the same age (10 and under). I guess I was young like that the first time my parents let me. I was always terrified of being abducted though so I was super cautious and had a very good mean glare and "I'm watching you, buster" look. Not sure I'd let my kids. They don't believe me when I tell them that some strangers want to take and hurt kids. They don't believe me on a lot of things. :rolleyes3

I truly get the fear though. I still don't let them sleep with their windows open even on hot summer nights because I'm terrified of someone stealing them in the night. I'm also stupidly afraid of a bear or something getting in. I think we've all had our own "close calls" as kids. My friend and I were chased through a park once when we were 11. I was always super non-athletic but I jumped a fence in one go and ran so fast that day. I was also annoyed with my friend because I spotted the two men following us right away. She thought I was being silly. By chance, we had bumped into my father's very good friend on a bike and they seemed to go away for a bit. My friend thought it would be "fun" to go spy on them. She had had a similar story where she thought she was being followed and went to spy on the person and it had turned out to be her imagination so she thought it was true this time too. Against my better judgement I went with her and they were right there. We screamed and off we went. We found a spot to hide and we peeked out and saw they HAD been chasing us but had given up and were turning around. We then saw our mothers and ran straight for them. By this point my friend thought the story was hilarious but I didn't and I could see both our mothers didn't either.
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
Is there any chance there is still some lingering post partum depression or hormones? Your child is still pretty young and it can last a few years. I had it with both kids and really bad with the second. With my oldest my fixation was primarily on my husband leaving me which was entirely unfounded. It didn't last long. With my daughter I was CONVINCED social services was coming to falsely accuse me and take my kids away and put them in a non-Christian home. I was also paranoid about home break-ins and abductions. Once I got the depression under control a lot of those fears subsided...at least to manageable levels. But it took several years.

My son was always a flight risk so we also had a safety harness on him. I only got a rude comment once. I actually got a lot of "where did you get that and how much was it?" questions. LOL I would have him on the leash and his sister in the stroller. With only one vehicle I generally only go out with my husband anyways. But I have gone to the city a few time on my own and, before Covid, would fly out to my parents just myself and the kids.

I'm near the border and our rural communities can often be the target of human traffickers too. I have yet to let my kids go out to the corner store on their own. They haven't ever asked so I never thought of it but recently a friend said she let her kids do it and they're the same age (10 and under). I guess I was young like that the first time my parents let me. I was always terrified of being abducted though so I was super cautious and had a very good mean glare and "I'm watching you, buster" look. Not sure I'd let my kids. They don't believe me when I tell them that some strangers want to take and hurt kids. They don't believe me on a lot of things. :rolleyes3

I truly get the fear though. I still don't let them sleep with their windows open even on hot summer nights because I'm terrified of someone stealing them in the night. I'm also stupidly afraid of a bear or something getting in. I think we've all had our own "close calls" as kids. My friend and I were chased through a park once when we were 11. I was always super non-athletic but I jumped a fence in one go and ran so fast that day. I was also annoyed with my friend because I spotted the two men following us right away. She thought I was being silly. By chance, we had bumped into my father's very good friend on a bike and they seemed to go away for a bit. My friend thought it would be "fun" to go spy on them. She had had a similar story where she thought she was being followed and went to spy on the person and it had turned out to be her imagination so she thought it was true this time too. Against my better judgement I went with her and they were right there. We screamed and off we went. We found a spot to hide and we peeked out and saw they HAD been chasing us but had given up and were turning around. We then saw our mothers and ran straight for them. By this point my friend thought the story was hilarious but I didn't and I could see both our mothers didn't either.
I never really considered post partum hormones. Not sure but praying and reading scripture this week has really helped me feel less afraid. I did just watch a self awareness video and felt my fear for up a bit. I'm going to pray some more before bed.

I think praying more and reminding myself that God is with me, will help. I drove out by myself with Peter this week. It was nice to get out, I was uneasy in the parking lot so I had my head on a swivel the entire time. I don't want to stop being that aware, but I don't want to stop going out of my house out of fear either.
 

MapleLeaf

Well-Known Member
I had truly severe post partum depression after my youngest. Like, call the doctor severe. After a major scare I had had with intrusive thoughts I started to pray and ask God to heal me from my mental illness. Or, that if He didn't will me to be healed that He wouldn't let that illness cause me to sin. I believed He did promise to protect us from sinning even if He didn't promise us health. Anxiety is a part of that sin. It was a slow go, but I eventually stopped obsessing. I still worry, of course, but it doesn't consume me. I was just wondering the other day when I can feel safe turning my back on my kids in public. My oldest is 11 and is a tall 11. Both my kids like to wander on their own in the library. Should I still worry about their being snatched? I feel nuts still calling for them but I like to know where they are still.
 

JoyJoyJoy

I Shall Not Be Moved
Should I still worry about their being snatched?
Could you equip them with a whistle or noise maker of some kind to use if they need help urgently?

I have read to teach your kids (or yourself) that if someone has a hold on you so that you can't run, to fall down and scream..*help me. This is not my parent. This is a stranger*....kick and flail the arms. Anything to make it harder for the abducter. Even with a knife or gun pressed against you, don't let him get you out of the public place.
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
Could you equip them with a whistle or noise maker of some kind to use if they need help urgently?

I have read to teach your kids (or yourself) that if someone has a hold on you so that you can't run, to fall down and scream..*help me. This is not my parent. This is a stranger*....kick and flail the arms. Anything to make it harder for the abducter. Even with a knife or gun pressed against you, don't let him get you out of the public place.
Those are some excellent suggestions.
 

alisani

Well-Known Member
I never really considered post partum hormones. Not sure but praying and reading scripture this week has really helped me feel less afraid. I did just watch a self awareness video and felt my fear for up a bit. I'm going to pray some more before bed.

I think praying more and reminding myself that God is with me, will help. I drove out by myself with Peter this week. It was nice to get out, I was uneasy in the parking lot so I had my head on a swivel the entire time. I don't want to stop being that aware, but I don't want to stop going out of my house out of fear either.
Exactly. There is absolutely everything right about being vigilant and having situational awareness. You are insightful and you submit yourself consistently for self-examination, so I know you'll go to God if you notice that vigilance becoming excessive. Have you ever had self-defense classes for yourself? Lots of colleges and YWCAs will offer them for free. Besides the obvious benefit of learning how to protect yourself and family, it might also help your confidence in being out in public situations and thereby reduce some anxiety. Times are so different now, that what may have been considered hypervigilant behavior in the past should be more normalized today.
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
Exactly. There is absolutely everything right about being vigilant and having situational awareness. You are insightful and you submit yourself consistently for self-examination, so I know you'll go to God if you notice that vigilance becoming excessive. Have you ever had self-defense classes for yourself? Lots of colleges and YWCAs will offer them for free. Besides the obvious benefit of learning how to protect yourself and family, it might also help your confidence in being out in public situations and thereby reduce some anxiety. Times are so different now, that what may have been considered hypervigilant behavior in the past should be more normalized today.
Mike and I have talked about me getting my gun license and learning how to use it. I mentioned self defense but we'd have to find a good class. I think Mike said he'll ask around at the police station.
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
In my prayer time for him, I just so strongly believe that his salvation is coming. :hug

And I never would say such lightly or casually.
My previous Pastor and Wife said the same thing to me just recently. I can see what they mean more now. He seems super close. He's definitely becoming more friendly to the things of the Lord. Completely unlike how hostile he was to Jesus 6 years ago.

God is too good to me!
 

MapleLeaf

Well-Known Member
Could you equip them with a whistle or noise maker of some kind to use if they need help urgently?

I have read to teach your kids (or yourself) that if someone has a hold on you so that you can't run, to fall down and scream..*help me. This is not my parent. This is a stranger*....kick and flail the arms. Anything to make it harder for the abducter. Even with a knife or gun pressed against you, don't let him get you out of the public place.
My question was more rhetorical, I guess. It's just something I wonder. I could refresh their "stranger danger" knowledge and to practice letting me know where they are going to be if they want to explore the library a bit on their own, for instance. My parents taught me to say "this is a stranger" when I was a kid because just screaming would make other people think I'm just throwing a tantrum as they wouldn't know who my parents were. At some point I will have to let my kids go off on their own. I know it's different times. Not just that the real danger has increased but that others are more paranoid too and I'm expected to be the dreaded helicopter mom if I don't want to get reported for neglect.
 
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