Modern day Bachelorette parties

[Amethyst]

Are modern bachelorette parties seeming like total debauchery to anyone else? I see videos of women in their 20s and 30s partying with obvious drunkenness and 'twerking' and grinding with each other ...well-to-do women who go out to expensive resorts to do this. With plastic male genitalia "trinkets' propped up on little fixtures and such....
My questions are, have bachelorette parties always been this way or is more of modern sign of the times? And is it just simple debauch/degeneracy or am I overreacting?
Some of these are the same women who pop up in your local megachurch every other Sunday.
eta: I know there are more conservative low-key parties but they seem to be less and less common or is it just me?

 

[Leigh]

Are modern bachelorette parties seeming like total debauchery to anyone else? I see videos of women in their 20s and 30s partying with obvious drunkenness and 'twerking' and grinding with each other ...well-to-do women who go out to expensive resorts to do this. With plastic male genitalia "trinkets' propped up on little fixtures and such....
My questions are, have bachelorette parties always been this way or is more of modern sign of the times? And is it just simple debauch/degeneracy or am I overreacting?
Some of these are the same women who pop up in your local megachurch every other Sunday.
eta: I know there are more conservative low-key parties but they seem to be less and less common or is it just me?

Goodness, I've never been to a bachelorette party, but if they're anything like you describe you are not overreacting -- AT ALL!!!

I've never been to anything except a normal, run-of-the-mill bridal shower, and they've always been very tasteful and Christ-honoring (since all the ones I've ever attended are for Christians). That said, nothing surprises me anymore.

 

[rubyx1]

plastic male genitalia. ok on a serious note yeah they have gotten this wild and been so for quite some time now. wonder what the point of a bachelor/bachelorette party is anyway and how that tradition began.

 

[Jojo4124]

Are modern bachelorette parties seeming like total debauchery to anyone else? I see videos of women in their 20s and 30s partying with obvious drunkenness and 'twerking' and grinding with each other ...well-to-do women who go out to expensive resorts to do this. With plastic male genitalia "trinkets' propped up on little fixtures and such....
My questions are, have bachelorette parties always been this way or is more of modern sign of the times? And is it just simple debauch/degeneracy or am I overreacting?
Some of these are the same women who pop up in your local megachurch every other Sunday.
eta: I know there are more conservative low-key parties but they seem to be less and less common or is it just me?

I think it depends on the morals of those throwing the party for men or women. The world uses these as an excuse to do sexual sin or at least think about it. Sad, because tho sex is a great part of marriage, it isnt the main part. Love according to the Word is...loving eachother in Jesus.

My bach. Party was calm, no sexualization. As a Christian, I believed that was not necessary to have a good time. My sweet Christian friends n I did spa stuff, nice dinner, n watched Beaches which made us all cry, lol.

Some Christians think its ok to go with the worldly n sexual flow, despite God's feelings about us not conforming to the world. Many would rather not abstain from these things and be labeled as religious or square, etc. But God says if we please ppl we do not please Him. Christians are to be bold for God and take persecution that comes from that.

I feel convicted, which is good, because I need to purge movies that I watch that contain perversions. Be Holy as I am Holy...it can only be done with God's help not on our own efforts

 

[cheeky200386]

Yes, many of them nowadays are debased. I'm in my mid 30's and it seemed like the norm was for men to have strippers at the bachelor party and women to go to nightclubs for theirs. This was when I was of the World in my 20's. Yet when talking to clients, that still seems to be the norm.

I don't know when that started. When Mike and I were getting married (I was not saved), we got into an argument because I was not ok with him seeing strippers. One of my ex friends begged my sister to get a male stripper for me but she knew I was not interested. We still did go to a nightclub to "party". My husband went to a racing event and then out to eat.

Since all of that, I've been saved and my husband, although not saved, sees how foolish those traditions are. He thought my opposition to strippers was exaggerated at the time but now he sees how wrong it is. He doesn't hang out with those friends anymore because he sees them as bad influences. A couple of them have are now divorced.

I look back at my bachelorette pictures and realize just how lost I was. My view of sex and modesty was tainted and it effected my married, almost leading to divorce. It's crazy to me how so many wives think it's normal for men to have strippers or to go out to clubs and get wasted, and think nothing of it.. Night clubs, bars, dressing sexy, strip clubs all lead to sexual immorality of some kind that destroys the marriage.

This became a bone of contention when my sister got engaged. She asked me if I would go to a nightclub with her and I told her no. I told her what I would plan for her like a spa day but she was still disappointed. Ultimately, COVID happened and she eloped.

Sorry for the novel, but this is a question I've wondered about too. When did celebrations for marriage become about lust and sexual debauchery?

 

[alisani]

Sorry for the novel, but this is a question I've wondered about too. When did celebrations for marriage become about lust and sexual debauchery?

Since this country began systematically turning its back on God. They removed Him from every institution we have, but none so much as the traditional, nuclear family. When marriage vows are just words to most people, when they marry for feelings, without the discipline of commitment and compromise, then it all becomes about serving the flesh. And when their flesh isn't satisfied, they don't stop to figure out why, they just move on to the next attempt to fill the empty hole that only God can fill.

 

[cheeky200386]

Since this country began systematically turning its back on God. They removed Him from every institution we have, but none so much as the traditional, nuclear family. When marriage vows are just words to most people, when they marry for feelings, without the discipline of commitment and compromise, then it all becomes about serving the flesh. And when their flesh isn't satisfied, they don't stop to figure out why, they just move on to the next attempt to fill the empty hole that only God can fill.

That's exactly what I see and experienced before being born again. Thank the Lord he saved me when he did.

 

[RobinB]

Yes, many of them nowadays are debased. I'm in my mid 30's and it seemed like the norm was for men to have strippers at the bachelor party and women to go to nightclubs for theirs. This was when I was of the World in my 20's. Yet when talking to clients, that still seems to be the norm.

My first wedding about 5 of us were supposed to go to see the Chippendale (male) dancers for a bach. party, but it was February and they got snowed in up north. So we went to Pizza Hut instead. (better choice!)

Also I saw on the tv news this morning how the cost of just going to a wedding has increased so much, because women are having bach. parties at resort locations and big elaborate parties.

 

[Kerbluey]

Us introverts don’t have to worry about these things, lol. I was far more horrified by the image of gobs of people, especially drunk women, socializing for days all up in each other’s spaces than I was the plastic male bits and bobs. Hubby is an introvert too, so no pre-wedding parties for us, strippers or no strippers. If Pizza Hut was involved I maybe could’ve been talked into it though!! Nom nom nom.

Seriously, hubby used to have to occasionally travel for work training. He’d sit in his hotel room wishing it was all over and he was home in his own bed while his co-workers partied and went wild. As an introvert we truly don’t understand the appeal. Do they have to suppress that much debauchery on a daily basis in their normal lives?

 

[Amethyst]

When did celebrations for marriage become about lust and sexual debauchery?

The modern days would say they’re having “one last hoorah” before being shackled down to one man.
But yet, they are actually begging to get married and can’t wait to stage the engagement pics to post them on social media nano seconds after it happens.

Do they have to suppress that much debauchery on a daily basis in their normal lives?

You know I have wondered this as well.

 

[Umbrella Girl]

Even before I was saved, all that filthy sexual stuff made me sick. Absolutely NO interest in any of it. All I yearned for was sweet, tender romance. I didn’t understand WHY back them. But now I understand it from a spiritual standpoint.

 

[MapleLeaf]

Being in Christian circles, I've never been to a bachelorette party but I've been aware of them and they've been gross for a long time. In my church circles we would often have "personal showers" where the close friends of the bride would get pretty things for the honeymoon. And yes, sometimes the girls would get silly with no older women there to keep us all in line. Not all of the friends invited would be Believers and many just weren't as prudish as I was. For mine I tried to be a good sport but there were things that some of the guests said and did I didn't like. And I found it was often the young married girls who were the most ribald which made the single and (I'm assuming) virginal girls feel awkward at times. They were also often the ones trying to push the bride-to-be to model the pretty things for the girls in the room against her own wishes. But my bridesmaids knew what I liked and my sister was one of the planners so they at least tried to keep it tasteful. They did make me wear a bra they "decorated" but I kept it over the top of my sweater.