WHAT mATTERS? IS HIS GRACE ENOUGH?
The Lord delivered me from a very close covid death in February, to almost full health by May. Since then, I’ve been plagued with some side effects from the virus that many are calling “long covid.” The symptoms I’m experiencing are fatigue, general weakness, shortness of breath, low blood/oxygen levels, “brain fog,” and irritability, (although the irritability is probably just my old nature poking through.) I’ve been on and off various medicinal protocols that help for a while then I’m back to where I started. Knowing that it is the Lord that heals, I’ve told Him I’m a bit weary of fighting this thing day in and day out, so please do something. Haven’t I waited on Him long enough to be mounting up with wings of eagles by now? I was rather surprised by His response.
I just turned 70 this week and He suggested to me that perhaps I wasn’t experiencing “long covid” but rather “short old timers.” What if these symptoms weren’t the result of having had covid but that these were some of the things lots of people experience as they grow older before He calls them home? What if He wants me to continue to endure these things until then? Will I be content this way? These were sobering thoughts. I have many people praying for my health. What if He says not now? Will I continue to serve Him joyfully without complaint then?
Then He reminded me of Paul’s dilemma in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
I am not glorying in my infirmity very well like Paul did his, and I certainly don’t feel strong, as weak as I am. But what matters for me is that I truly want Christ to be seen in me by others. Paul reminds us how that happens, “Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.” 2 Corinthians 4:10 I continue to covet your prayers for my health, and that He would extend His grace and mercy to heal me, even though I’ve asked Him many more than three times to do so. In the meantime, I’m trusting that His grace is, and will be, just as sufficient for me, as it was for Paul.