Letting God do what He does and has done for me

GHoe

Well-Known Member
I've already written this out several times but deleted it because the details of it all just make my point hard to locate, so here is the cut and dry (yet still not short - lol) portion.

I'm in a divorce and I feel I'm being taken advantage of financially, by my ex. Although there may be orders down the line that see me getting reimbursed, my pride has a hard time saying it's OK for her to get this money (non court mandated) from me and "I don't deserve this."

Then I look and see how God has interceded in my life, constantly protecting and providing (I've been protected in ways I can't succinctly describe here and now, but that I recognize as God's work). I have a hard time looking around and not seeing the blessings God has sent me, of which is the fact that He has spared me from what I really do deserve. Thank you God for your Grace and Mercy.

So enter today and its time to decide am I gonna submit another payment for my ex, or am I gonna stoke my pride, put my foot down and say "I'm not gonna put up with this". I prayed about it and realized God has always provided for me, above and beyond my needs.

I've read Psalms in where the writer says that he knows God's faithfulness toward his children and that He won't let us into the hands of our enemies and that we will be protected and provided for.

It didnt come easy. It goes against what my feelings and heart tell me to do. With Jeramiah 17:9 in mind and the realiziation I was harboring pride and holding on to the treasures of this world too tightly, it was easier to see that what I wanted to fight for ($ / pride) was only going to sow a seed of anger that would bear no fruit.

I couldn't help but make the payment again and not begrudgingly or with the sense of "well maybe I'll get reimbursed later", but with a real sense of letting go of my coveted control, having faith and allowing God to do what he does and has done for me. Provide and Protect.

If nothing else, maybe just a little encouragement for someone out there who needed this.
 

twerpv

Well-Known Member
That has to be so hard to live out. Turn the other cheek, give them your cloak, walk two instead of one mile, pray for your enemies, et. al. sound good (and they are, after all, Jesus said so…) but are sure much harder to live out.
I pray that you are blessed beyond your imagination for following His Word.
 

GHoe

Well-Known Member
That has to be so hard to live out. Turn the other cheek, give them your cloak, walk two instead of one mile, pray for your enemies, et. al. sound good (and they are, after all, Jesus said so…) but are sure much harder to live out.
I pray that you are blessed beyond your imagination for following His Word.
I really appreciate your kind words. The thought of you asking for blessings upon me is an emotional experience for me. I do pray for her and it is hard (so much more to this story). At my best I see that I'm able to walk out my faith in a way that I see my flesh alone could never reconcile with.

I catch myself talking to myself, wrestling with how I've been wronged, what I should be owed and counting the transgressions. Then I stop myself and see that I have sinned greatly, perhaps greater than her.. Who am I to ask for her to get her just deserves when God has graciously spared me from what I deserve. And so I have to submit to Him and his will... And in that moment I am filled with peace.
 

OnlyHim

Well-Known Member
The other day I was thinking about how deeply exhausted I feel, I decided to give it a name if for any other reason to lighten the mood. I came up with FTF...Faith Testing Fatigue. All of my Christian life I have seen sporadic members of the Body of Christ go through tough times and witnessed how their brothers and sisters in Christ all came around them to encourage and support them through the trial. These days, it's as if all I see is like a M.A.S.H. unit full of casualties in this embattled world of spirit verses flesh. It's like every one of us is facing tremendous challenges to our faith deeper challenges than ever before and usually more than one at a time. We try to encourage those around us, while attempting the stop the bleeding in our own situation. In the end, it is clear to me our faith is being tried by fire more than ever and in ways much deeper than I have ever experienced and with a frequency I've never seen before. Surely we must be close to going home.

The only thing I can say that seems to be a reoccurring theme in all of this is surrender more and more of your life to the Sovereign authority of Jesus Christ. Cast those burdens onto Jesus like you never have before and then rest. Isaiah 30:15 says, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength."

Easier said than done these days, nevertheless a worthy endeavor to the very end. Try to be of good cheer brother, we are almost home.
 

3 Nails 4 Given

Sinner saved by the blood of Jesus
9 month old son. We pray each night for him, me and his mama
You’re in the same place I was, my daughter was 11 months old. My ex wife told me, I don’t love you anymore and I want a divorce.

I found out she was unfaithful to me on more than one occasion. I didn’t want the divorce but I knew “we” would never work out.

Two weeks after I moved out our refrigerator
and freezer that was full of food only had a case of beer and a pack of bologna, I don’t drink?
 

mattfivefour

Administrator
Staff member
The only thing I can say that seems to be a reoccurring theme in all of this is surrender more and more of your life to the Sovereign authority of Jesus Christ. Cast those burdens onto Jesus like you never have before and then rest. Isaiah 30:15 says, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength."
Amen! As you go on to say, brother, that's easier said than done. But, then, the doing of it is His work; ours is to desire it with all our heart and determine to obey in whatsoever He instructs.
 

GHoe

Well-Known Member
You’re in the same place I was, my daughter was 11 months old. My ex wife told me, I don’t love you anymore and I want a divorce.

I found out she was unfaithful to me on more than one occasion. I didn’t want the divorce but I knew “we” would never work out.

Two weeks after I moved out our refrigerator
and freezer that was full of food only had a case of beer and a pack of bologna, I don’t drink?
That's a tough deal, sorry to hear that.
 

mattfivefour

Administrator
Staff member
It was the toughest thing I’ve ever experienced. But like Job, God has restored to me tenfold. There were a few years of pain at first.
Glad to hear how God has multiplied blessings to you, brother. :hug Those painful years are what shape us more into what He created us to be, so that we may do what He determined for us to do when He created us. Glory to God!!!
 

GHoe

Well-Known Member
I don't quite understand, I thought you are getting a divorce. Who is mama? and who does the baby belong
I am in the process of divorce.. "mama" is my son's mom (his mama). The baby belongs to my wife and I. "We" (my son and I) pray each night for him (son), me and his (my son's) mama.
 

GHoe

Well-Known Member
What does she say in regards to the vows she made?
The situation isn't that simple unfortunately. We don't talk except about our son via a texting app. . All I'll say for now is the relationship became violent (toward me) among other issues.

To answer your question completely and give you the proper insight would require me to fully divulge the entire situation and brevity is not my strong suit. It's a pretty in depth story that I'm not going to get into at this time, but I appreciate your asking as I'm sure you mean to help.

My focus for the initial post was just to show how at peace I was able to be when I exhibited faith and let God do his work as MattFiveFour stated.
 
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