Kids are funny

Brother Albert R.

Well-Known Member
The Sunday School lesson for the first graders was on the plan of
salvation. The teacher asked, "If I sold my house and my car, had
a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I
get into heaven?"


"No!" all the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept
everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "No!"

"Well," she continued, "then how can I get to heaven?"

One boy confidently answered, "You've gotta be dead!"

--------


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The
teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat
was very small.


The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow
a human; it was physically impossible.


The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl
replied, "Then you ask him."


--------

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children
while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work.


As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what the drawing was? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks
like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,
the girl replied, "They will in a minute."


--------

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to
"honor" thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
a family) answered, "Thou shalt not kill."


--------

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that
Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?"
gasped her mother.


"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls
helped me catch him."

--------

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother
has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head.


She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some
of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time
that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of
my hairs turns white."


The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and
then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

--------

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that
there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you
know?" his mother asked.


"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I
think it's printed on the bottom."
 
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