I'm not sure what to do with my life or my exact purpose.

Neonap

Well-Known Member
Hello brothers and sisters in Christ, I'm so jumbled within that I'm not sure where to begin. As you age, time seems to be much more noticable and valuable. Ever since my family had wanted to move to Florida, I've been pondering on many things. Life, death, time, the past, the present, the future, regrets, etc etc. I must admit that I'm not the brightest tool in the shed, so life hasn't been easy to figure out. I'm about to turn 28 soon this upcoming November, but I haven't accomplished anything with my life. I'm pretty much a failure.

I haven't ever had a job, due to my own anxiety or low self esteem. I just feel worthless as a human being you know? I also want to restore relations with my dad, half brother and sisters, etc. As many of you are aware, I live with my step dad, mom, lil sis etc. But my relationship with my dad who lives in Florida btw, has been murky. I think the main reason being is due to how bad I was as a kid, and the divorce.. as a child growing up, I was evil.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this but I just want to get a decent job, even if it's low wage( I am horrible with counting money and math), and talk to my father, brother, step mom, sisters again.. My mom's side of the family hates my dad's guts though... so they don't want me talking with my father. The future that I have envisioned in the past is dead( having a wife, with a family of my own) but I have to salvage what I can with the present. What can I do? Any advice?
 

Tall Timbers

Imperfect but forgiven
It should be fairly easy to get a job right now. A lot of restaurants are struggling to secure enough help to continue operating. Retail stores need help. Lot's of available jobs in the service industry. I pray that God helps you to find the courage to step out and apply for positions. :pray :pray :pray
 

Leigh

Well-Known Member
First off, you're not a failure, so just get that thought right out of your head! You have your family, and all of your brothers and sisters in Christ here who love you and whom YOU encourage, you are kind and compassionate... and you express yourself well in writing too! :nod

TT has good suggestions for the types of work for which you could apply... I was thinking something like a grocery store - stocking shelves or something similar to begin with that's not too highly stressful, and moving up from there. Costco is a good place to work and has great employee benefits.

I'm sure others will have advice on dealing with your family situation, but if you could find some kind of job soon, even if temporary, you will feel productive and know that your time is being well-spent.
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
There's many of us that are not the brightest tool in the shed, some a sandwich short of a picnic even, but praise God these are the very people he uses to display Himself in. So, you are not alone. :)

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

1 Cor 1:25-27


As a young man growing in Christ, who's overcome through faith in Christ you are NOT a failure. You have overcome:

I am writing to you, dear children,
because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
I am writing to you, fathers,
because you know him who is from the beginning.
I am writing to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.


I write to you, dear children,
because you know the Father.
I write to you, fathers,
because you know him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong,
and the word of God lives in you,
and you have overcome the evil one.


1 John 2:12-14

Don't let the enemy of your soul mess with your head on this. :)


As far as your background, that is under the blood of Jesus, don't allow any condemnation take hold of your heart....no matter where it comes from. But do listen to the gentle convicting of the Holy Spirit, even in reminding you that God sees you with great love. Your desire to repair relationships and bring reconciliation is good, pray for God's leading on this, to put it together (and deal with hearts) and follow His guidance, resting in His timing. :) And pray for God's peace and healing for your heart. A family that's had division is hard for kids growing up and it's effects still take it's toll even into adulthood. So, recognize that you may still be dealing with that and God knows this too. His love and patience for us is far more that what we can imagine.


I agree with TT, really pray for God's leading on not only a job opportunity but also perhaps a good church to attend and have fellowship in where you can have family in Christ to support and strengthen you. Perhaps there's also a serving opportunity which will bring you joy. God has His wonderful ways of putting together and opening up opportunities where you cannot envision but He sees already. :)

And, Neonap, your presence here at RF has been valuable. It really is. :nod The questions and even your honest challenges you have brought up in threads I am very sure has been helpful to others who've had the same kind of questions and challenges. You just don't know it yet. But trust me, when someone is brave enough to step out like you've done, there's usually others that are really glad that someone spoke up and asked away.

I'm :pray ing with you, brother in Christ. :)


:pray
 

Matthew6:33

Withstand in the evil day. Eph 6:13
Feeling like a failure is definitely not something coming from God. It's coming from you know who :devilish

I can relate though, I am somewhat successful as far as the world is concerned however I get the same feelings at times. When this happens I need to refocus on the cross and how Christ died For me because He has a unique purpose for my life and He loves me.

As mentioned above, getting a job and/or serving at your local church/homeless shelter/soup kitchen is a great place to get started.

Remember, life is a journey and God want's us to experience it with him. Dont overthink it. God bless!
 
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Neonap

Well-Known Member
It should be fairly easy to get a job right now. A lot of restaurants are struggling to secure enough help to continue operating. Retail stores need help. Lot's of available jobs in the service industry. I pray that God helps you to find the courage to step out and apply for positions. :pray :pray :pray

Thank you for praying for me and I'll definitely look into a job that I can do, that doesn't require you to think and whatnot. God bless you brother
 

Neonap

Well-Known Member
First off, you're not a failure, so just get that thought right out of your head! You have your family, and all of your brothers and sisters in Christ here who love you and whom YOU encourage, you are kind and compassionate... and you express yourself well in writing too! :nod

TT has good suggestions for the types of work for which you could apply... I was thinking something like a grocery store - stocking shelves or something similar to begin with that's not too highly stressful, and moving up from there. Costco is a good place to work and has great employee benefits.

I'm sure others will have advice on dealing with your family situation, but if you could find some kind of job soon, even if temporary, you will feel productive and know that your time is being well-spent.

Thank you for the encouragement. Everyone here is a blessing, I'm glad that I decided to join this great forum 4 years ago. We are moving to Florida soon, if things go well. I'll have to see if I can find anything local in the area. Or volunteer at a church. Love you all too.
 

Neonap

Well-Known Member
There's many of us that are not the brightest tool in the shed, some a sandwich short of a picnic even, but praise God these are the very people he uses to display Himself in. So, you are not alone. :)

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

1 Cor 1:25-27


As a young man growing in Christ, who's overcome through faith in Christ you are NOT a failure. You have overcome:

I am writing to you, dear children,
because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
I am writing to you, fathers,
because you know him who is from the beginning.
I am writing to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.


I write to you, dear children,
because you know the Father.
I write to you, fathers,
because you know him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong,
and the word of God lives in you,
and you have overcome the evil one.


1 John 2:12-14

Don't let the enemy of your soul mess with your head on this. :)


As far as your background, that is under the blood of Jesus, don't allow any condemnation take hold of your heart....no matter where it comes from. But do listen to the gentle convicting of the Holy Spirit, even in reminding you that God sees you with great love. Your desire to repair relationships and bring reconciliation is good, pray for God's leading on this, to put it together (and deal with hearts) and follow His guidance, resting in His timing. :) And pray for God's peace and healing for your heart. A family that's had division is hard for kids growing up and it's effects still take it's toll even into adulthood. So, recognize that you may still be dealing with that and God knows this too. His love and patience for us is far more that what we can imagine.


I agree with TT, really pray for God's leading on not only a job opportunity but also perhaps a good church to attend and have fellowship in where you can have family in Christ to support and strengthen you. Perhaps there's also a serving opportunity which will bring you joy. God has His wonderful ways of putting together and opening up opportunities where you cannot envision but He sees already. :)

And, Neonap, your presence here at RF has been valuable. It really is. :nod The questions and even your honest challenges you have brought up in threads I am very sure has been helpful to others who've had the same kind of questions and challenges. You just don't know it yet. But trust me, when someone is brave enough to step out like you've done, there's usually others that are really glad that someone spoke up and asked away.

I'm :pray ing with you, brother in Christ. :)


:pray

As far as I can tell, all of you are pretty intelligent, though we all suffer in certain areas. I never try to see anyone as "less intelligent" because everyone is made in the image of God so therefore, everyone has value. No one is worthless.

Regarding my father, yeah.. although he wasn't perfect, even till this day, I have decided to forgive him. Life is too short to throw special opportunities away, to give up on people completely. It's not like he left and never spoke to me ever again but growing up, on a yearly basis I would take a plane and stay over his place in Florida. But I caused a lot of pain and problems while over there due to my stupidity as a kid/teenager.

The last time I had actually went over to see my dad and siblings, was in 2015. It wasn't bad, I cherished that time I spent with them. But I haven't spoken to my dad since then though. I just want to start anew and bond with all of them again, because no one is promised their next breath.

All of you have been valuable to me as well. I truly hope one day we will all see each other in heaven. I'll give you all a everlasting hug lol! But seriously, you guys mean the world to me and thank you for just being there.
 

Neonap

Well-Known Member
Hey Neo is your area still in lockdown cause of Coiv and do you have a drivers licence?

If so see if you can do some delivery type work ?

Since I've been on this forum for a while, I'm just going to be honest. I have never fully understood how to drive. Growing up, I had a hard time telling what was right and left, I didn't fully figure it until after high school. Even now, if I glance at a mirror, I can't immediately tell left from right. So, you throw in anxiety, and driving seems like a nightmare from my perspective.

If I were to drive, I probably would get into a accident or worse, so that's why I never went after a driver's license. I'm still in NJ, but I'm leaving sometime in August to Florida. NJ at the moment, seems open but now everything is going back on lockdown so I don't know.

Trust me, if I could just stick to delivery work I definitely would.
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
As far as I can tell, all of you are pretty intelligent, though we all suffer in certain areas. I never try to see anyone as "less intelligent" because everyone is made in the image of God so therefore, everyone has value. No one is worthless.

Agreed. I'm glad you mentioned that.

I was being a bit tongue and cheek with my idioms, not meaning that I think we (the Church) are less than but that in the world's eyes we can be thought to be so. That's why I love that 1 Cor 1:25-27 passage (and the one below) because where the world may not give a second thought to those they consider not wise, or influential nor of noble birth according to human standards, God particularly reaches out to those very same considered less than people and provides them surpassing wisdom, righteousness, holiness and redemption all because of and through Christ:

Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.

God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin. Therefore, as the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.”


1 Cor 1:26-31


My point being that in Christ you are not less than, despite what the world may think and say. :)
 

Brother Albert R.

Jesus loved us and said we should Love our enemies
Hello brothers and sisters in Christ, I'm so jumbled within that I'm not sure where to begin. As you age, time seems to be much more noticable and valuable. Ever since my family had wanted to move to Florida, I've been pondering on many things. Life, death, time, the past, the present, the future, regrets, etc etc. I must admit that I'm not the brightest tool in the shed, so life hasn't been easy to figure out. I'm about to turn 28 soon this upcoming November, but I haven't accomplished anything with my life. I'm pretty much a failure.

I haven't ever had a job, due to my own anxiety or low self esteem. I just feel worthless as a human being you know? I also want to restore relations with my dad, half brother and sisters, etc. As many of you are aware, I live with my step dad, mom, lil sis etc. But my relationship with my dad who lives in Florida btw, has been murky. I think the main reason being is due to how bad I was as a kid, and the divorce.. as a child growing up, I was evil.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this but I just want to get a decent job, even if it's low wage( I am horrible with counting money and math), and talk to my father, brother, step mom, sisters again.. My mom's side of the family hates my dad's guts though... so they don't want me talking with my father. The future that I have envisioned in the past is dead( having a wife, with a family of my own) but I have to salvage what I can with the present. What can I do? Any advice?
In my life I was planning on getting into law enforcement, so I was taking classes in police science and was applying for jobs in law enforcement as they came up. While I was in the process of doing that I started working for a welding company, which I learned how to do in high school, and started to get my life going with that job. Welding was a trade that came in handy and has paid the bills for over 30 yrs. I would recommend that you find a trade school so that you can learn to have a skill in order to be able to support yourself and eventually be able to support a family of your own. There will always be a demand for...
Electricians
Carpenters
Mechanics
Plumbers
Welders
and many more.
Try getting into a city, county, state or federal job by looking on line at their websites under jobs.

I hope this helps,
God bless you Neonap
Brother Albert
 

Ghoti Ichthus

Pray so they do not serve alone. Ephesians 6:10-20
You are priceless. "God don't make no junk" We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psalm 139:14, KJV

No matter what you have done (or not done), Jesus died for it all. His death paid for every sin that every person that ever lived ever committed, is committing, or will ever commit :dance2 If you haven't confessed, do it now and be done, knowing that God blotted it all out from the books and remembers it no more, even if we do. There may be some earthly consequences, but it has no effect on your Salvation. There is nothing you can do to make it better or help pay for it. Jesus paid it all, his check's big enough for all of our sins, and Jesus gets ALL the glory. If we think we have to do anything else, we're saying Jesus isn't enough, works are necessary for Salvation, and we're taking some of His glory away. None of this. Forgiveness, Grace, and Salvation are gifts from God. We don't merit them, but Jesus does, and Jesus' perfection is accounted for us instead of our own records :hyper The Books of Ephesians and Romans explain this in detail.


28 is young. If The Lord tarries, you probably have decades and decades left on planet earth.

Not all are called to be single, and not all are called to be married. Paul talks about this in detail in 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7


Since you say you're not good with money and driving, see if you can find a job not involving either money or driving. Maybe stocking or cleaning at someplace like Whole Foods, Home Depot, Lowe's, etc. Besides pay, there's the issue of benefits. Chains often offer better benefits than Mom-and-Pop places. No sense in setting yourself up for frustration, stress, or even failure. Set yourself up for success. Figure out what you're good at and, of these things, figure out what you like, and look for a job that matches.

A good way to get experience is volunteering someplace. Your church probably has need of volunteers. Altar Guild, clean up, and prayer circles are good places to start. If your church has adopted an area along a street or highway, helping with that is easy and always needs help, too. Food pantries, soup kitchens, and animal rescues always need help cleaning, stocking, walking dogs, etc. Beware the last one, otherwise before you know it, you'll try to adopt 'em all :eek Some nursing homes are taking volunteers and some not because of wuhan virus. Where you decide to give of yourself depends on your interests and passions.

Talk to your Pastor. If there's a counselor at your church, he or she can be a great resource, too. Confidence in God will help your self confidence, as well as doing something to help others. It may be that volunteering needs to come before work to give you the confidence and general work skills you need to successfully apply, interview, learn the job, and work through the ups and downs that happen at any job/with any boss/with any coworkers. Volunteering in some places could lead to a job.


Above all, pray for God's direction. Be sure to wait on His answer and keep praying as you wait.


:pray :pray :amen :amen
 

Neonap

Well-Known Member
You are priceless. "God don't make no junk" We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psalm 139:14, KJV

No matter what you have done (or not done), Jesus died for it all. His death paid for every sin that every person that ever lived ever committed, is committing, or will ever commit :dance2 If you haven't confessed, do it now and be done, knowing that God blotted it all out from the books and remembers it no more, even if we do. There may be some earthly consequences, but it has no effect on your Salvation. There is nothing you can do to make it better or help pay for it. Jesus paid it all, his check's big enough for all of our sins, and Jesus gets ALL the glory. If we think we have to do anything else, we're saying Jesus isn't enough, works are necessary for Salvation, and we're taking some of His glory away. None of this. Forgiveness, Grace, and Salvation are gifts from God. We don't merit them, but Jesus does, and Jesus' perfection is accounted for us instead of our own records :hyper The Books of Ephesians and Romans explain this in detail.


28 is young. If The Lord tarries, you probably have decades and decades left on planet earth.

Not all are called to be single, and not all are called to be married. Paul talks about this in detail in 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7


Since you say you're not good with money and driving, see if you can find a job not involving either money or driving. Maybe stocking or cleaning at someplace like Whole Foods, Home Depot, Lowe's, etc. Besides pay, there's the issue of benefits. Chains often offer better benefits than Mom-and-Pop places. No sense in setting yourself up for frustration, stress, or even failure. Set yourself up for success. Figure out what you're good at and, of these things, figure out what you like, and look for a job that matches.

A good way to get experience is volunteering someplace. Your church probably has need of volunteers. Altar Guild, clean up, and prayer circles are good places to start. If your church has adopted an area along a street or highway, helping with that is easy and always needs help, too. Food pantries, soup kitchens, and animal rescues always need help cleaning, stocking, walking dogs, etc. Beware the last one, otherwise before you know it, you'll try to adopt 'em all :eek Some nursing homes are taking volunteers and some not because of wuhan virus. Where you decide to give of yourself depends on your interests and passions.

Talk to your Pastor. If there's a counselor at your church, he or she can be a great resource, too. Confidence in God will help your self confidence, as well as doing something to help others. It may be that volunteering needs to come before work to give you the confidence and general work skills you need to successfully apply, interview, learn the job, and work through the ups and downs that happen at any job/with any boss/with any coworkers. Volunteering in some places could lead to a job.


Above all, pray for God's direction. Be sure to wait on His answer and keep praying as you wait.


:pray :pray :amen :amen

My calling is definitely to be single, however hard it may be. Being alone for the rest of my days doesn't necessarily bother me as much as it used to, but once I get a simple job, I'll use that money to help my family and save it for emergencies. A wife, a family.. I don't believe that's what God has in store for me.

I never saw money as important, not as important with the precious moments with family and friends. As long as I have God, my family and you guys I should be ok. It won't be easy but life is never easy. Thank you for the suggestions and God bless you :)
 

Accepted

Well-Known Member
Hello brothers and sisters in Christ, I'm so jumbled within that I'm not sure where to begin. As you age, time seems to be much more noticable and valuable. Ever since my family had wanted to move to Florida, I've been pondering on many things. Life, death, time, the past, the present, the future, regrets, etc etc. I must admit that I'm not the brightest tool in the shed, so life hasn't been easy to figure out. I'm about to turn 28 soon this upcoming November, but I haven't accomplished anything with my life. I'm pretty much a failure.

I haven't ever had a job, due to my own anxiety or low self esteem. I just feel worthless as a human being you know? I also want to restore relations with my dad, half brother and sisters, etc. As many of you are aware, I live with my step dad, mom, lil sis etc. But my relationship with my dad who lives in Florida btw, has been murky. I think the main reason being is due to how bad I was as a kid, and the divorce.. as a child growing up, I was evil.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this but I just want to get a decent job, even if it's low wage( I am horrible with counting money and math), and talk to my father, brother, step mom, sisters again.. My mom's side of the family hates my dad's guts though... so they don't want me talking with my father. The future that I have envisioned in the past is dead( having a wife, with a family of my own) but I have to salvage what I can with the present. What can I do? Any advice?
Neonap, first of all, as has been pointed out, you are priceless, and beloved of the Lord!! Your position in Christ is secure. Don’t ever let the Liar convince you otherwise. The Lord created you!!

Second, I think (as a parent of grown sons) you are ONE COMMUNICATION AWAY from reconciling with your father. Simply say, whether over the phone, email or text, “Dad, I’m really sorry I was a jerk to you when I was younger. Will you forgive me?” Believe me, parents DREAM of this kind of reconciliation. Plus, you will be honoring the Lord, and bolstering your witness that God has made a difference in your life.

Thirdly, Florida is a great place to get on your feet with a simple job, as their governor is not allowing lockdowns. Start looking online now for local jobs in the area where you are moving, and look up bus service too. Every organization needs simple jobs filled. Keep in mind the local hospital, veterinarian clinics, Chick Fil-A (for example, they have employees who only work in the kitchen, or doing one specific job, not necessarily cashiers), grocery stores, pet supply stores, florists, bakeries, Costco or Sam’s, and all local businesses. Don’t forget amusement parks, if you’re near one - those can be great places to work!

Don’t get in over your head, but be honest about what you can do ... and then do it with all you’ve got. Be the one they can depend on. Neonap, you will feel SO much better just being productive. The Lord Jesus will help you!!

Let us know how you’re doing, and we’ll all be supporting you in prayer!!! ❤️
 

Neonap

Well-Known Member
Neonap, first of all, as has been pointed out, you are priceless, and beloved of the Lord!! Your position in Christ is secure. Don’t ever let the Liar convince you otherwise. The Lord created you!!

Second, I think (as a parent of grown sons) you are ONE COMMUNICATION AWAY from reconciling with your father. Simply say, whether over the phone, email or text, “Dad, I’m really sorry I was a jerk to you when I was younger. Will you forgive me?” Believe me, parents DREAM of this kind of reconciliation. Plus, you will be honoring the Lord, and bolstering your witness that God has made a difference in your life.

Thirdly, Florida is a great place to get on your feet with a simple job, as their governor is not allowing lockdowns. Start looking online now for local jobs in the area where you are moving, and look up bus service too. Every organization needs simple jobs filled. Keep in mind the local hospital, veterinarian clinics, Chick Fil-A (for example, they have employees who only work in the kitchen, or doing one specific job, not necessarily cashiers), grocery stores, pet supply stores, florists, bakeries, Costco or Sam’s, and all local businesses. Don’t forget amusement parks, if you’re near one - those can be great places to work!

Don’t get in over your head, but be honest about what you can do ... and then do it with all you’ve got. Be the one they can depend on. Neonap, you will feel SO much better just being productive. The Lord Jesus will help you!!

Let us know how you’re doing, and we’ll all be supporting you in prayer!!! ❤️

I plan on calling him, to see if I can come over. Then when I'm there, I'll apologize to not only my father, but my step mother as well since I had caused her great pain and my brother/sisters for not keeping in touch with them for so long. The problem is, my step dad and my side of my family do not like my father. They have their reasons but they hold resentment within their hearts.

I know if I tried to contact them, my step dad would not be to happy. Their reasons are not totally wrong but the past is the past. If God was the type to hold our past against us, then who could be forgiven? Just like God has forgiven me, and has been patient with me, likewise I want to as well.

I definitely do know my limits, so reaching beyond what I can reach is not an option lol, even if it's a simple job, then at the very least I can help my family out and what have you. Thank you for such encouraging words, and for helping me with ideas and whatnot.

I'll definitely keep all of you updated regarding the moving part, my dad and co, and job as well. I also gotta pray more and get closer to God as well.
 
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