I need some ideas from everyone

InsuranceGuy

Well-Known Member
I have started making short videos on my phone each morning for my wife & daughters. I don't like missing the events that will be coming up though, so I need some ideas. I'm going to try and pre-order Valentine's Day flowers for each of them so they are delivered on V-Day. My daughter graduates High School on Dec. 20th, but doesn't get to walk across the stage to receiver her diploma until May. So, I'm thinking of leaving a card with my wife to give her that day, or possibly even stopping by her school and giving it to the Principal when they hand her the diploma. He's a great guy and I'm sure he would do it.

What are some other ways I can help ease their pain? My ten year anniversary would be May 1st. I've thought about having flowers delivered that day as well.

Any thoughts are suggestions would be appreciated. :)
 

yrrek

Well-Known Member
A year after my grandmother passed away, I found a Christmas present that was buried in storage. It meant a lot when I found it. One other thing was things she wrote and left behind. Letters would probably mean a lot. Another thought would be to find a friend or someone you trust to send them something small while you’re gone so it will continue even though you’re not present.
 

JamesSuth

Well-Known Member
I agree that letters would be the most precious thing. You could even leave a few to be opened at various dates. Another idea that comes to mind is if you have taken photos over the years, you could maybe get them printed for an album and jot some memories or notes next to them and leave the album as a gift.

Hope you are less tired today, good to see you online :)
 

dreamermind

Well-Known Member
I think the videos are a great idea. Before my grandmother passed away I did a video interview with her. I asked her about my family history and what my parents were like growing up. Things like that. It’s a joy to watch it now and hear her voice, and there isn’t anyone left in my family who knows much of our history, so those answers are priceless.
 

JSTyler

Well-Known Member
I have started making short videos on my phone each morning for my wife & daughters. I don't like missing the events that will be coming up though, so I need some ideas. I'm going to try and pre-order Valentine's Day flowers for each of them so they are delivered on V-Day. My daughter graduates High School on Dec. 20th, but doesn't get to walk across the stage to receiver her diploma until May. So, I'm thinking of leaving a card with my wife to give her that day, or possibly even stopping by her school and giving it to the Principal when they hand her the diploma. He's a great guy and I'm sure he would do it.

What are some other ways I can help ease their pain? My ten year anniversary would be May 1st. I've thought about having flowers delivered that day as well.

Any thoughts are suggestions would be appreciated. :)
I don't have any suggestions off the top of my head right now but I will say this, I absolutely love you. I just do and there's nothing you can do about it. I love the way you reflect Christ and His loving mannerisms. I can't imagine what you're feeling and how you're persevering but I can from my limited perspective, see a race being run with endurance and grace. It's something inexplicable to witness. Thanks for your example and I'm looking forward to meeting you in glory.
 

bap

Well-Known Member
I don't have any suggestions off the top of my head right now but I will say this, I absolutely love you. I just do and there's nothing you can do about it. I love the way you reflect Christ and His loving mannerisms. I can't imagine what you're feeling and how you're persevering but I can from my limited perspective, see a race being run with endurance and grace. It's something inexplicable to witness. Thanks for your example and I'm looking forward to meeting you in glory.
Ditto, also here in BIG D!!!
 

DanLMP

Well-Known Member
Videos... My dad passed last year and his answering machine is gone and I have no phone number to call and hear his voice.
And/or a recording. If you are savvy enough you can make a voice recording on your phone and send it in a text. You can even schedule texts to arrive on certain dates and times. I know how to do this on an Android, not sure about an Apple.

The recipient of the text should be able to save the voice message to their phone.

My own recommendation is to phrase the messages in a "see you later" tone rather than a "missing you while you are gone tone".

Essentially, from their perspective, you are going on an extended (forever) vacation and just waiting for them to meet up with you later.

I wish your travel arrangements weren't so uncomfortable but by the time you reach your destination the trip there will seem like an old scrape of the knee you got when you were a kid, long forgotten and little remembered.

I have refrained from commenting on your journey in the past because my attitude regarding life and death is a little different. You and others have already expressed my feeling on the subject though so it's probably safe to say something now.

I know this is a time of physical and emotional struggle for you but compared to the amount of time you will spend at Home this isn't even a small blip on the chart. And the physical and emotional pain will seem like that scrape on the knee.

Notice I didn't include the spiritual struggle you are also going through. I doubt you will find one single Christian who doesn't struggle with their salvation depending on what day of the week it is. That's essentially the definition of being human though, struggle.

So my only suggestion regarding your spiritual struggle is to understand that it's not yours. It belongs to God. He saw you before you were born and sees you as you are ready to be with Him. Through that whole passage of time the you He is ready to meet is the you that will finally be with Him. Not the you that you were. So you may have good days and bad days spiritually, but God sees mostly one day, the day you are with Him. That's why your struggle belongs to God. He is the one who supports you no matter what kind of day you are having so that He can be with you.

Have a nice flight. Try to get a window seat.

And I still haven't heard if you're going to be serving root beer.
 
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Judy4Jesus

God is GOOD!
Do you have an article/articles of clothing that have significant meaning...like a concert you went to with your daughter, a funny shirt that everyone remembers you with, or hat etc...
I've seen bears and other creations made from a loved ones old clothes that had significance to them. Then when they are missing that loved one, they can hold that bear or whatever made from that special old shirt or whatever and find comfort....you can find makers online. And have delivered at a certain time. Maybe if you have you wedding suit or shirt or something from your wedding, your wife's bear could be made from that??
Idk, just an idea.
You are very much loved and I will be using your "blog" to comfort many folks...your journaling of your pain and walk through this terminal illness and your testimony and witness for Christ through it all is NOT going to be in vain.
Love you, dear brother! :hug
 

DanLMP

Well-Known Member
Do you have an article/articles of clothing that have significant meaning...like a concert you went to with your daughter, a funny shirt that everyone remembers you with, or hat etc...
I've seen bears and other creations made from a loved ones old clothes that had significance to them. Then when they are missing that loved one, they can hold that bear or whatever made from that special old shirt or whatever and find comfort....you can find makers online. And have delivered at a certain time. Maybe if you have you wedding suit or shirt or something from your wedding, your wife's bear could be made from that??
Idk, just an idea.
You are very much loved and I will be using your "blog" to comfort many folks...your journaling of your pain and walk through this terminal illness and your testimony and witness for Christ through it all is NOT going to be in vain.
Love you, dear brother! :hug
That's a great idea. We had a quilt made for my older son before he went to college which contained pieces of significant t-shirts that he had worn through the years. Sport's Ts, school Ts, etc.
 

Kem

Citizen
I don't have any suggestions off the top of my head right now but I will say this, I absolutely love you. I just do and there's nothing you can do about it. I love the way you reflect Christ and His loving mannerisms. I can't imagine what you're feeling and how you're persevering but I can from my limited perspective, see a race being run with endurance and grace. It's something inexplicable to witness. Thanks for your example and I'm looking forward to meeting you in glory.
Ditto here also. You are a wonderfully thoughtful and kind husband and father. I love your ideas and also the ideas of letters.
 

Rose E.

Well-Known Member
If you have a favorite cologne or after shave. Giving them a small sample or put the scent on objects. Scent is a powerful reminder of loved ones.
Your loved ones will never forget you but having one of the five senses available could be comforting for your family.
I hope this doesn't sound creepy, but every time I smell cinnamon rolls. I think of my grandmother.
God Bless you and keep you strong.
 

LisaJoe1986

Well-Known Member
This reminds me of the movie, PS I Love You. It has some issues, but overall, it is a sweet story about a man that dies and leaves messages behind for his wife who absolutely adores him and is devastated when he passes. What he leaves is a series of letters to her to help her with her grief and to encourage her to keep on living. God bless you, Dan, as you focus on your loved ones during this difficult experience.
 

Kerbluey

Well-Known Member
What a sweet thing you’re doing!

I once made a friend a big box of little notes. She could open it and pull out a note at any time. It was filled with rolled up paper that I’d written things on; funny things, inspirational things, words of wisdom, etc. You could do a personalized version. For instance, my Husband and I yell “I love!” to each other. I’d include a note in all caps just saying I LOVE!!! and I know it’d bring a smile to his face. Is there anything you nagged your daughters or wife about? I’d include a little nag note with a smiley face. They’ll miss your nags. You could write about memories you enjoyed. Get a big enough box and you could add in letters to them, the plan of salvation, photos.

My grouchy uncle died a few years ago. In life he was a grump, but after death everyone enjoyed remembering and telling stories about him. It would’ve been great to have a memory box set up that people could drop notes in. His wife would cherish it, I know.
 

Lynn

Longing for Home
If you have a favorite cologne or after shave. Giving them a small sample or put the scent on objects. Scent is a powerful reminder of loved ones.
Your loved ones will never forget you but having one of the five senses available could be comforting for your family
Great idea! Also, Dan, you might think about putting a date to be opened on each note/letter in your memory box. You could leave a sample of your favorite scent inside each one, or, better still, rub the inside flap of each envelope on your face after applying after shave. Additional thoughts about dates to open on the envelopes: you could date them as far into the future as you like, or keep them flexible. Such as, June 1, 2025 (or your wedding day, whichever comes first), assuming your daughter turns 23 that year. You could purchase some of the round hat box type boxes at Hobby Lobby, one for each person that you're leaving messages for. Dan, this may turn out to be one of the most profound, bittersweet experiences of your life. Such a loving gesture!
 
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