I Lost A Friend by Speaking Against Homosexuality

God's Servant

Well-Known Member
I know I may have done something foolish that has people talking a lot in the watchman post. I was gonna take a break from here and stay in the Word and prayer until I heard from God, and if He said I was wrong I would repent and ask for forgiveness.

But put that aside, because I really need support right now.

Everything today has gone wrong. Starting with the post I made. Then at work my boss was yelling at me. I was off today because I was seriously checking myself and asking God to tell me if I've gone completely mad and lead astray.

But I have to testify of this so that He may be glorified through my suffering.

My friend who I also work with was giving me a ride home. We spoke about my faith. He then asked me if I thought homosexuality was ok. He then made it an ultimatum, "You can't leave this car and go home until you tell me it's ok to be gay" I said "I'm sorry I can't do that. I won't speak hate, but I cannot say it's ok." I knew in that moment I probably lost my friend. He said if God is against gays, I don't want Him, which is sad. He said he thought I was being pulled away by a cult and he didn't know what was happening to me. He started crying as I left the car, and I wept as well. I came into my room and feel to the floor crying like a baby. I told God I couldn't say it's ok, I couldn't condone evil, even if it means I loose all my friends, my job and my room I rent. Then I thanked God for giving me the courage for speaking against it, because I know if I didn't have the Spirit's help, I would have said it was ok even if I didn't believe it, just to keep him as a friend because I was a coward before Christ.

So there you have it, I feel like my whole world is spiraling down and though I dont wanna play victim, I feel like I'm going through a trial right now to test my faith and my confession of what is right. But I don't know what to do. I have to work with him 6 days a week. Somehow though, God is going to be glorified through what I am going to go through. Please pray for me because the enemy is telling me to go back to sin and give up, but I won't do it. I won't give up my freedom from sin, to go back into bondage. I can't go back now. I have already confessed many times now that I am a follower of Christ and I am against what He is against. I can only go forward. Help me do that.
 
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Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
God's Servant, that can be one of the hardest things to do with a friend. Please know this, God is with you. As a believer in Christ He has you solidly in His hand and He's here to help and strengthen you. I've had these kinds of conversations myself with close people as well. They are tough conversations. And, my take has been that while God did not intend for these kinds of lifestyles but for marriage between a man and woman, I've emphasize that God loves all of us and extends His salvation to all, to bring all to a better path, a healthier path, one with His very best intentions and plans towards us. Hang in there, brother in Christ. I'm praying for you on this, ok? :)

As far as the other thread, hey, listen.....we are all growing in understanding in Christ and in our walk in the Lord. In God's eyes there are no throw aways with His children. A child of God, a brother or sister in Christ is precious. You are right to go to God's Word and let Him speak to you His truth. God is trustworthy, unfailing in His love and direction for us in our lives. You can be sure that God will faithfully show you the path He has for you.

You have a zeal for God that is wonderful, really it is :) ......keep studying His Word and continue to let God mold you into His plans for you and by His Word. Keep learning, growing and waiting on God, He won't let you down. And....perhaps peruse some articles here on Rapture Forums and threads pertinent to what you are going through. For instance we do have some threads on the subject of your friend with some support and understanding on what's ticking with these lifestyles....often pain, hurt and unfortunately terrible things done to people. Jesus is the one who can bring that healing and wholeness they are looking for. You can probably search that out.

The crowd here at Rapture Forums is loving and caring. If they do speak up it's always in love and care here, to build up and to direct on the best paths. Consider that their words may be God's way to help mentor.


:pray
 
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Channah

Well-Known Member
I know I may have done something foolish that has people talking a lot in the watchman post. I was gonna take a break from here and stay in the Word and prayer until I heard from God, and if He said I was wrong I would repent and ask for forgiveness.

But put that aside, because I really need support right now.

Everything today has gone wrong. Starting with the post I made. Then at work my boss was yelling at me. I was off today because I was seriously checking myself and asking God to tell me if I've gone completely mad and lead astray.

But I have to testify of this so that He may be glorified through my suffering.

My friend who I also work with was giving me a ride home. We spoke about my faith. He then asked me if I thought homosexuality was ok. He then made it an ultimatum, "You can't leave this car and go home until you tell me it's ok to be gay" I said "I'm sorry I can't do that. I won't speak hate, but I cannot say it's ok." I knew in that moment I probably lost my friend. He said if God is against gays, I don't want Him, which is sad. He said he thought I was being pulled away by a cult and he didn't know what was happening to me. He started crying as I left the car, and I wept as well. I came into my room and feel to the floor crying like a baby. I told God I couldn't say it's ok, I couldn't condone evil, even if it means I loose all my friends, my job and my room I rent. Then I thanked God for giving me the courage for speaking against it, because I know if I didn't have the Spirit's help, I would have said it was ok even if I didn't believe it, just to keep him as a friend because I was a coward before Christ.

So there you have it, I feel like my whole world is spiraling down and though I dont wanna play victim, I feel like I'm going through a trial right now to test my faith and my confession of what is right. But I don't know what to do. I have to work with him 6 days a week. Somehow though, God is going to be glorified through what I am going to go through. Please pray for me because the enemy is telling me to go back to sin and give up, but I won't do it. I won't give up my freedom from sin, to go back into bondage. I can't go back now. I have already confessed many times now that I am a follower of Christ and I am against what He is against. I can only go forward. Help me do that.
The Good Lord did say we will be ostracized, hated by the world and many other things. I would like to give you encouragement that you remember the Prophets of the Old Testament how they spoke truth but were hated. Stand strong, it's God we have to please not man. When I read your post the 21 Egyptian Coptics come to mind as they were led like lambs to slaughter on that beach in the Middle East and killed for their faith.
 

Sojourner414

Well-Known Member
I know I may have done something foolish that has people talking a lot in the watchman post. I was gonna take a break from here and stay in the Word and prayer until I heard from God, and if He said I was wrong I would repent and ask for forgiveness.

But put that aside, because I really need support right now.

Everything today has gone wrong. Starting with the post I made. Then at work my boss was yelling at me. I was off today because I was seriously checking myself and asking God to tell me if I've gone completely mad and lead astray.

But I have to testify of this so that He may be glorified through my suffering.

My friend who I also work with was giving me a ride home. We spoke about my faith. He then asked me if I thought homosexuality was ok. He then made it an ultimatum, "You can't leave this car and go home until you tell me it's ok to be gay" I said "I'm sorry I can't do that. I won't speak hate, but I cannot say it's ok." I knew in that moment I probably lost my friend. He said if God is against gays, I don't want Him, which is sad. He said he thought I was being pulled away by a cult and he didn't know what was happening to me. He started crying as I left the car, and I wept as well. I came into my room and feel to the floor crying like a baby. I told God I couldn't say it's ok, I couldn't condone evil, even if it means I loose all my friends, my job and my room I rent. Then I thanked God for giving me the courage for speaking against it, because I know if I didn't have the Spirit's help, I would have said it was ok even if I didn't believe it, just to keep him as a friend because I was a coward before Christ.

So there you have it, I feel like my whole world is spiraling down and though I dont wanna play victim, I feel like I'm going through a trial right now to test my faith and my confession of what is right. But I don't know what to do. I have to work with him 6 days a week. Somehow though, God is going to be glorified through what I am going to go through. Please pray for me because the enemy is telling me to go back to sin and give up, but I won't do it. I won't give up my freedom from sin, to go back into bondage. I can't go back now. I have already confessed many times now that I am a follower of Christ and I am against what He is against. I can only go forward. Help me do that.
My heart goes out to you :( it's sad indeed when it costs us to stand for the Word of God, and someone we are close to (a friend, relative, etc) rejects us because they revile what we cling to.

I've been there; giving the gospel to someone I was friends with destroyed my friendship with them and they never spoke to me again.

Unfortunately, your friend chose the world instead of the Creator, and that's a very tough thing to endure. I know how bad you're hurting right now, and how raw and wounded you must feel. You did what you were supposed to, and it hurts. The thing is though: all you (or any of us can do) is to give the Word of God and be honest. What they choose to do with it is all on them. They can get mad, accuse, cry, scream, etc. But we cannot back down on the truth, no matter how much it upsets them. For your friend to give you that ultimatum was utterly wrong and selfish, and in the end, they choose poorly.

So what to do now?


1) Pray for them, and continue to do so: As much as this hurts, the perspective to keep here is that they need all the prayer they can get in this situation. We're in a war, and Satan is out to drag everyone he can with him to hell. Our weapons in fighting this are not physical, but spiritual.

2) Stay in Scripture: Someone whom I think you can relate to right now is Jeremiah: he was called upon by the Lord to tell Judah the truth, no matter how angry they got or how hard they tried to shout him down. He was despised, accused, mocked, and even thrown into a muck-filled pit, all because he wouldn't tell the king what he (and his courtiers) wanted to hear. And it cost Jeremiah all his friends, relatives and all he held dear: the nation of Judah fell, the Temple was destroyed, and his countrymen were either killed or marched off into slavery to Babylon. His book of "laments" speaks of the devastation in his heart as well as the land.

3) Keep it professional at work: I know this person was your friend, but since they have chosen to do this in response to you, then you need to set some standards between you and them. If they were giving you rides to and from work, then that unfortunately has to stop. Keep any talk between you and them to a level that concerns only work. Make sure any of your tasks at work are done correctly, and that you have proof or a way of verifying to your boss that you completed them (so your former friend cannot accuse you or "set you up").

4) Maintain some distance: I know I probably sound like I'm a bit paranoid here, but because of the situation you are in, I think it is wise that you exercise some "distance" between this person and yourself. The potential for false accusation in retaliation is considerable here; while we are not to walk in fear but in the spirit of the Lord, we are also to be as "wise as serpents and harmless as doves". You may ultimately need to find a different job (I know: far, FAR easier said than done!) elsewhere.

5) Bring the situation before the Lord in prayer and ask His counsel: Above all, bring this (and continue to bring this) before the Lord in prayer. Ask Him how you should proceed, and ask him to intervene for you in this matter. The Lord doesn't send us on a task and then tell us "you're on your own, good luck!".

I hope this helps in some measure; it's the best I have for you concerning this. :pray :pray
 
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Anewcreationinjesus

Well-Known Member
We love you brother and there is some great counsel from brothers and sisters on here ....praise God we can help bear one anothers burdens ....:hug:meet

As the world hurtles towards Gods wrath being poured out, people need to hear the truth rather than "love is love". Gods word of truth never changes, you spoke the truth and God helped you to not compromise even in the middle of a threat against you about leaving the car. Its hard when its friends and family, my own 13 yo daughter has labelled me a "homophobe" because I told her 2 women wasnt "marriage" and that homosexuality is part of fallen human nature. Christ died for our sins including homosexual sins, and those of us with a testimony out of this know that its the word the Holy Spirit moves on to bring conviction, then the Holy Spirit helps us live that new life, that freedom in Christ. Sadly, their "freedom" is actually bondage....

I agree with the practical advice given here too, maybe its best you try and search for another job and pray behind the scenes meantime for your friends? Or if you do stay then as already said, try and put some distance between you and the other person, definitely bring it to the Lord!

The temptation to compromise is everywhere even in the visible church with their "queer theology" and "lbgt church" which is no church at all ....

Dont listen to satans lies, the world has nothing for us, our sufferings tenporary and each day that goes by is one day nearer!

Your friend needed the truth and hopefully he will have other opportunities to hear - its up to him whether to believe or not ultimately....its like the analogy of a house on fire, you actually tell the person the house is on fire which is more loving than saying "there there" and patting them on the shoulder!

I think each and every Christian on the planet is going to face this trial - standing in the word or compromising....there is no compromise and it must be especially hard on those with grown up children walking in Romans 1....
 
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TimeWarpWife

Well-Known Member
IMHO, if this person could end your friendship over a disagreement about homosexuality, then I'm not certain he can be anyone's friend to begin with. Some of my friends, even family members, and I have differences of opinions about things, like homosexuality, but we love and respect each other enough to agree to disagree.
 

Footsteps

Well-Known Member
DO NOT BE WEARY IN WELL DOING. Your situation happens every day and as TimeWarpWife has pointed out, the issue in dispute is not worthy to end a friendship which tells me that God has more worthy friends for you. In the Christian world one blessing is the commonality we all have which enables us to be friends instantly and without withholding anything. All the counsel given in this thread is spot on and need not be repeated by me.
 

pixelpusher

Well-Known Member
God's Servant, after I was saved and began to share the Gospel with my "friends" at the time, party buddys, mainly, they all left. One guy got in my face at a high school reunion and wanted to fight me when I brought up our need for Jesus. It was like spittle-flying instant rage which was simply astonishing to me at the time.

Phillipians 3:8
 

Goodboy

On my way up!
I know I may have done something foolish that has people talking a lot in the watchman post. I was gonna take a break from here and stay in the Word and prayer until I heard from God, and if He said I was wrong I would repent and ask for forgiveness.

But put that aside, because I really need support right now.

Everything today has gone wrong. Starting with the post I made. Then at work my boss was yelling at me. I was off today because I was seriously checking myself and asking God to tell me if I've gone completely mad and lead astray.

But I have to testify of this so that He may be glorified through my suffering.

My friend who I also work with was giving me a ride home. We spoke about my faith. He then asked me if I thought homosexuality was ok. He then made it an ultimatum, "You can't leave this car and go home until you tell me it's ok to be gay" I said "I'm sorry I can't do that. I won't speak hate, but I cannot say it's ok." I knew in that moment I probably lost my friend. He said if God is against gays, I don't want Him, which is sad. He said he thought I was being pulled away by a cult and he didn't know what was happening to me. He started crying as I left the car, and I wept as well. I came into my room and feel to the floor crying like a baby. I told God I couldn't say it's ok, I couldn't condone evil, even if it means I loose all my friends, my job and my room I rent. Then I thanked God for giving me the courage for speaking against it, because I know if I didn't have the Spirit's help, I would have said it was ok even if I didn't believe it, just to keep him as a friend because I was a coward before Christ.

So there you have it, I feel like my whole world is spiraling down and though I dont wanna play victim, I feel like I'm going through a trial right now to test my faith and my confession of what is right. But I don't know what to do. I have to work with him 6 days a week. Somehow though, God is going to be glorified through what I am going to go through. Please pray for me because the enemy is telling me to go back to sin and give up, but I won't do it. I won't give up my freedom from sin, to go back into bondage. I can't go back now. I have already confessed many times now that I am a follower of Christ and I am against what He is against. I can only go forward. Help me do that.
Sorry to hear that you lost a friend, but then was he really a friend at all. What kind of friend tells you what you have to believe? From what I understand, it's not like you were harassing him, but only truthfully answering a question he asked you. Did he prefer that you lie? Probably so. As you know, we don't hate or necessarily dislike homosexuals. We just feel what they are doing is sinful, just like some sins that we do.

Here is something I wrote that references homosexuality.
https://www.raptureforums.com/forums/threads/pick-up-your-cross.143311/
 

LisaJoe1986

Well-Known Member
I pray daily that God would give me strength to stand and be willing to give it all up if I should be called to the task. I cannot imagine being strong enough if my life were on the line and I get anxious even thinking about it. I pray we will not have to endure this ultimate trial, but He promises His Holy Spirit will give us the words and I trust the strength to do whatever it is we are called to do.

It sounds like you were obedient to this call with your work friend. You did right by him to speak truth. This is what real love looks like even if it was painful. Jesus wrestled very hard with what the Father called Him to do, so much so that He sweat blood and begged for the task to be taken away from Him. I think it is appropriate that you fell to the floor crying over the reaction of your friend. It is grief. Imagine how God feels. He reaches out constantly with His love to a rejecting world. His grace gift will only last a little longer.
 

chaser

Just a twinkling from home!
Stand strong Daniel, we are praying for you and standing with you in your stand for Christ, which can be costly. The world can not see what we see, being "in" this world but not "of" it and it will cause friction when we cast light into dark areas. Short story I have, or as short as I can make it. My family was Catholic, my dad never went to church though ever, he was a violent man and he was a big man, very scary combo. In his early 50's he became severe diabetic, had a heart attack, then started having strokes, all at the same time I got saved and was telling everyone about my Jesus. Dad would listen for a few minutes and then tell me I should have been a priest(typical Italian) and told to keep my bible to myself. I wanted him to have a chance for salvation, so once in a while I would try and explain the Gospel. Well my mom called my brother out of state, and he called me at midnight and tore into me and said stop speaking Jesus. A few days later dad had the worst stroke, couldn't talk, couldn't see or move much, but he knew the truth of Jesus, did he accept before he passed, I hope so. My brother did not talk with me for years, and now about 15 years later he is more friendly but gets nervous if he thinks the subject will turn to a gospel message, so I do not push. I found out one of his friends from school got saved and was always telling Jim about Jesus and getting saved. Jim parted ways with that friend of many years. Now my brother has 5 stents in his arteries for his heart to keep him alive and he is diabetic, and I know one of these days he is going to want to talk about Jesus, because I have been praying for him for years and so have many here on RF and the old RR board. But I have to wait until God says 'Now" or he will be just like my dad. As soon as I get the go ahead I will tell him how much God loves him and what he has done for him, if God does not anoint the time it will be fruitless, but Jim does know the truth. There is a cost to following Jesus, we lose friends, family members, we get mocked and people stay distant, I went through a divorce because she thought I was in a cult , my son and daughter stay distant. Some followers of Christ lose jobs, get harassed, are severely injured even killed, there is a cost. So keep praying , reading the word, walk closely with the Savior and love people, God is with you and will see you through every situation and the body of Christ here will lift you in prayer.
 

Cindy S.

Well-Known Member
I know I may have done something foolish that has people talking a lot in the watchman post. I was gonna take a break from here and stay in the Word and prayer until I heard from God, and if He said I was wrong I would repent and ask for forgiveness.

But put that aside, because I really need support right now.

Everything today has gone wrong. Starting with the post I made. Then at work my boss was yelling at me. I was off today because I was seriously checking myself and asking God to tell me if I've gone completely mad and lead astray.

But I have to testify of this so that He may be glorified through my suffering.

My friend who I also work with was giving me a ride home. We spoke about my faith. He then asked me if I thought homosexuality was ok. He then made it an ultimatum, "You can't leave this car and go home until you tell me it's ok to be gay" I said "I'm sorry I can't do that. I won't speak hate, but I cannot say it's ok." I knew in that moment I probably lost my friend. He said if God is against gays, I don't want Him, which is sad. He said he thought I was being pulled away by a cult and he didn't know what was happening to me. He started crying as I left the car, and I wept as well. I came into my room and feel to the floor crying like a baby. I told God I couldn't say it's ok, I couldn't condone evil, even if it means I loose all my friends, my job and my room I rent. Then I thanked God for giving me the courage for speaking against it, because I know if I didn't have the Spirit's help, I would have said it was ok even if I didn't believe it, just to keep him as a friend because I was a coward before Christ.

So there you have it, I feel like my whole world is spiraling down and though I dont wanna play victim, I feel like I'm going through a trial right now to test my faith and my confession of what is right. But I don't know what to do. I have to work with him 6 days a week. Somehow though, God is going to be glorified through what I am going to go through. Please pray for me because the enemy is telling me to go back to sin and give up, but I won't do it. I won't give up my freedom from sin, to go back into bondage. I can't go back now. I have already confessed many times now that I am a follower of Christ and I am against what He is against. I can only go forward. Help me do that.
You did the right thing. You may tell him there is a verse in the bible and you would share it with him when he is open to reading it and he can argue his point with his creator. I'm assuming you know the verse?
 

mattfivefour

Administrator
Staff member
You did the right thing. You may tell him there is a verse in the bible and you would share it with him when he is open to reading it and he can argue his point with his creator. I'm assuming you know the verse?
Or, for that matter, verses.

Praying, young brother; but you did the right thing with your friend. :pray

You'll find something that will really help you (or anyone) at https://www.livingout.org/the-bible-and-ssa . Sam Allberry's article "What Does The Bible Say About Homosexuality?" is the most complete and balanced discussion of the topic I have ever come upon.
 

athenasius

Well-Known Member
I know I may have done something foolish that has people talking a lot in the watchman post. I was gonna take a break from here and stay in the Word and prayer until I heard from God, and if He said I was wrong I would repent and ask for forgiveness.

But put that aside, because I really need support right now.

Everything today has gone wrong. Starting with the post I made. Then at work my boss was yelling at me. I was off today because I was seriously checking myself and asking God to tell me if I've gone completely mad and lead astray.

But I have to testify of this so that He may be glorified through my suffering.

My friend who I also work with was giving me a ride home. We spoke about my faith. He then asked me if I thought homosexuality was ok. He then made it an ultimatum, "You can't leave this car and go home until you tell me it's ok to be gay" I said "I'm sorry I can't do that. I won't speak hate, but I cannot say it's ok." I knew in that moment I probably lost my friend. He said if God is against gays, I don't want Him, which is sad. He said he thought I was being pulled away by a cult and he didn't know what was happening to me. He started crying as I left the car, and I wept as well. I came into my room and feel to the floor crying like a baby. I told God I couldn't say it's ok, I couldn't condone evil, even if it means I loose all my friends, my job and my room I rent. Then I thanked God for giving me the courage for speaking against it, because I know if I didn't have the Spirit's help, I would have said it was ok even if I didn't believe it, just to keep him as a friend because I was a coward before Christ.

So there you have it, I feel like my whole world is spiraling down and though I dont wanna play victim, I feel like I'm going through a trial right now to test my faith and my confession of what is right. But I don't know what to do. I have to work with him 6 days a week. Somehow though, God is going to be glorified through what I am going to go through. Please pray for me because the enemy is telling me to go back to sin and give up, but I won't do it. I won't give up my freedom from sin, to go back into bondage. I can't go back now. I have already confessed many times now that I am a follower of Christ and I am against what He is against. I can only go forward. Help me do that.
You did fine! :hug and :pray
Don't give up!
God refines us and brings us thru stuff so that we can grow.

Here's a verse that says that if we go thru that refining process we are truly His.

Hebrews 12:6-11 New International Version (NIV)
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a]

7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
 

kathymendel

Well-Known Member
You absolutely did the right thing to state the truth to your friend. No question..........

But, may I just come from a different angle here? I wasn't there to hear the conversation and how it went.

I do know that sometimes, we can come across as very hard-core and judgemental when we discuss the pitfalls and consequences of sin with people. I know that sometimes we can make one sin sound so much more serious than other sins...........and they are not. Sin is sin in God's eyes.
We need to be very careful to temper our answers with loving concern - not change the truth or go weak on the spot - but to really show our love, to accept them as a person with flaws, just as Jesus did when He walked the earth. Just as He showed us mercy. He spoke the truth always, but He never failed to let the people know He loved them and cared about them...................all the way to the cross. I am reminded of Jesus talking to the woman at the well in Samaria. I urge you to think back to the conversation and analyze "how" you answered him. Were you "preaching to the choir" or genuinely showing a loving heart to him? Were you "bible-thumping" or looking as his heart right where he is in his life now?

Just a friendly reminder - not to rebuke at all - because, like I said, I wasn't there.
 
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