I have a terrible time talking to women.

Noah Cotterill

Well-Known Member
Right on with cutting out the porn. Frankly, biologically you'll have more drive to talk with women because of the need to procreate since you're not "getting any." I find it difficult talking to people. The only advice I would have is try not thinking about having to be social or it's an issue. Visualize it being easy. You're a man. Go (I mean literally) beat your chest, axe some wood, what-have-you, to get yourself pumped and feeling a bit more manly. I do this when I need some adrenaline to do something (or to calm down and focus my energy elsewhere).
 

Dave

Well-Known Member
Right on with cutting out the porn. Frankly, biologically you'll have more drive to talk with women because of the need to procreate since you're not "getting any." I find it difficult talking to people. The only advice I would have is try not thinking about having to be social or it's an issue. Visualize it being easy. You're a man. Go (I mean literally) beat your chest, axe some wood, what-have-you, to get yourself pumped and feeling a bit more manly. I do this when I need some adrenaline to do something (or to calm down and focus my energy elsewhere).
I find lifting weights does wonders for the self esteem. Also spending too much time obsessing over something out of fear just makes it worse.
 
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Jesus_Freak17

Well-Known Member
Thanks for all the replies, gents. I still AM struggling, but I've come to realize it is 100% from porn and what goes with it.

I managed to abstain for 30 days, and by that time I felt so ALIVE like I havent felt in years. Its truly crazy how one changes when they are saving their sexual energy instead of expending it everyday.

This may seem like psuedo science, but... At that 30 day mark, not only could I talk to women, and men, easily, but as I walked around my local mall girls were going out of their way to talk to me which has NEVER happened before. Could they subconsciously tell that I was sexually "charged" or something? Even my friend noticed he was like bro you're getting the attention of every girl here, thats not normal.

Anyway.... Purity for the win. Flee sexual immorality. It destroys what makes us men.
 

ramblingvanman

Well-Known Member
Women are just people. Sure, they think differently about many things than we men do, but we all have much in common. I find it very easy to strike up conversation with almost anyone male or female, any race and most religious affiliations. If you love people, talking to them is easy.
 

mchro73

Well-Known Member
I used to have a HUGE problem talking to the pretty girls. But after years of body chemical changes, attitude, life changes, two divorces, 3 wives, I am no longer afraid to talk to anyone.

Except to clowns. I will not talk to clowns. :pink
 

63ProStreet

Well-Known Member
I used to have a HUGE problem talking to the pretty girls. But after years of body chemical changes, attitude, life changes, two divorces, 3 wives, I am no longer afraid to talk to anyone.

Except to clowns. I will not talk to clowns. :pink
Haaahaaa! Thats funny! Yeah after all you have gone through relationship wise,:eek2 what could you possibly be afraid of?:rolleyes2:ahaha
 

Soandso

Active Member
I just wanted to pile on what Matt said. The whole porn thing might be a sign of something. Is your relationship with your mom a healthy one? Is the relationship between your parents healthy? Does your dad have a healthy attitude toward women? We can't do much with bad information. It leads us to do very bad things. Watch the married couples in your church interact. The healthy ones you will easily identify because they will show each other respect. Porn only causes us to devalue and disrespect women. Start by holding the door open for them. And if you want the best wife for you work really hard and becoming the best husband a woman would want. You will reap what you sew.
 

bap

Well-Known Member
Sounds to me like you have mastered one of the most important skills when being around a woman, LISTENING! Too many men talk and don't listen to women! So, back in the early 80's I went to a high end party with most of the Automotive High Performance industry owners. The persons house we all gathered at was a big shot at GM. Anyway, as a mid 20's guy I was introduced to his wife. I was kind of intimidated thinking about the class of people they normally hang around. I mean what do I have to bring to the table of conversation with the likes of them right? While I was in this beautiful home I noticed art, beautiful paintings on the walls. About 35 minutes into our stay, I heard, "you are Jims brother?" I turned around and it was this guys wife with a beautiful smile. I said "yes I am, you have a beautiful home, but you probably hear that all the time don't you?" She smiled, I said, Who is the art lover?" And she took off telling me about her love for art since she was a little girl. When that ran out, I said tell me about this painting, off she went again. I did this all night. The next day my brother asked me, what did you say to Doug's wife last night? I'm like, I dunno, I was just asking about her art and paintings why? Doug said his wife thought you were such a fine young man and she really enjoyed last night, more so that she has for a long time! I didn't know what to say, I'm just like wow! Really? So here is my point. If you are with a group of people or one, and you want to talk with or join in on a conversation, you can always say something like, "how do you know this bum?" Haahaaa! Have questions already in your head. Are you in school? What are you studying? You can talk all night by asking questions because let me give you a little secret, people like to talk about themselves! That's it! Let them talk about themselves and when and if they run out of things to say? You will hear, "Enough about me, what about you?" they will start asking questions about you and there ya go! They will think you are the best conversationalist and all you did is ask questions! Where do you work?, do you really like what you do? How did you get into that kind of work? What do you like to do for fun? Do you have brothers and sisters? You would be amazed at how much you might have in common with that person and would never know it had you not asked some simple questions! Have fun with it. Don't be mono tone when you talk, act lively and happy! You'll hit it out of the park! You really will! Here is something you will find funny to watch about the differences between men and women's brains and how they work!
at least this video was funny
 
I'm usually a quiet person as it is. But, I really can't seem to make new female friends. I just don't know what to say. I don't know how to relate to them. To be fair I find it extremely tough to initiate conversation with men and women, not out of fear, I just really don't know what to talk about. I find that more often than not, I don't even want to get to know these people. That's not normal behavior, is it? People I meet for the first time are always saying "well, don't you just talk a lot." Jokingly, of course, because I've been sitting there without a peep. WHAT DO I DO?

One thing I have noticed is that as I've cut pornography out of my life I find my drive to be social coming to life, and actually spurring me on to make conversation with people. Maybe that's been the problem the whole time?
It is good to cut that other stuff out, it can only help. The Lord has someone out there for you, He did for me.

There is always the opposite problem, talking with pretty women real easily. When or if you marry, thats a different adjustment.

I can't say I know what to talk about around pretty women. So I let them talk. Its usually a short conversation. The more I can relate, the more trouble can arise. Just some thoughts from a different side.
 

Jonathan

Well-Known Member
I get nervous to when I talk to somebody about Jesus!!
I try to find something I have in common with whoever I want to witness to. If I see someone who looks like they may be into music, I will use that as an opening! Ask them what bands they like etc. Then tell them about a Christian band that I like. Then the conversation can go towards the Gospel. Let the Holy Spirit guide you on not only WHO to talk to, but what to say. He will give you the words.
This is over three years old, so sorry for the late response, but every time I think I might have been successful in spreading the Gospel was from a passive point. The topic of religion, and then, specifically, Christianity would come up, and then I would share what I believed Christ meant, what he did, etc.

I didn't initiate the issue, but was there to witness when the issue came up.
 

Goodboy

Well-Known Member
Wow this is an old post with some good advice, but I will add my two cents. As a Christian trying to either get someone saved or just meet another Christian this is what I use as a conversation starter. "Morning... how is life treating you?" If they say good or great I may say "Wow.. that's great what is your secret?" If they say not good or bad I may say "Oh what's going on?" Now it may be time to listen, but if they don't say anything I will start talking about how bad the world is getting and the hope we have in Jesus, meaning I will start sharing the gospel.

Goodboy
 
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