I Don't Know...

Mama Bug

Well-Known Member
It's comforting to know I'm not alone in starting a bit later.
My head is full of silly ideas that only serve to tear me down instead of build me up. They make me look inward instead of outward. Make me ineffective as salt of the earth. I can see why the Bible says it's so important for fellow believers to gather and build each other up.

I'm moving to my new place this weekend. While the deep depression that settles in my chest whenever I allow myself to draw inward remains. I am so beyond grateful for how the Lord has provided for me and my hubby. I have messed up in so many different ways, and the Lord has provided. In spite of my weak faith and timid spirit, He has never failed me. I know where my help comes from. He has chosen to bless me in my place of work and He has given dh some amazing skills and a good job making more than enough to cover our new bills and payments.
Praise the Lord
I'm guilty of tearing myself down a lot. Someone does something and I don't judge them, don't think much of it, they're doing what they think is best, etc. I do it and I'm the worst person/mom/wife/whatever in the world. I won't say we all do it, but speaking for me, I'm my own worst critic. My therapist has called me out on it but I still do it. She'll argue with me in a way to steer me away from being mean to myself. It's a hard habit to break. Struggling with anxiety and sometimes depression makes it worse. It's possible that a lot of people who do struggle with those things are more critical of themselves than people who don't.
 

Epieikes

Well-Known Member
I am living with my mother-in-law but will be moving to a house not to far from here... A trailer really, but I'm excited to finally have my own place.
This house is somewhere off Nine Mile rd... I know, oh so helpful right?... Um it's in an area also known as Ensley? I often take i-10 when I'm driving to downtown where I work. :)
Yes there does seem to be a church on every square block. It's kind of strange. Especially with all the Baptist churches. Where do you even begin?

I don't know where I got the idea. But even as a kid I felt like my value as a person diminished as I grew older. It's some strange, self-defeating thing to add to my lengthy list of self-defeating things. I know I'm ashamed of my young adult years because I couldn't even drive till I was 25. My family couldn't afford the insurance or anything. It's not my fault or my family's. I just feel a deep sense of shame. Like I wasted my life or something.
Been right by there many times on "dates with God" to Pensacola. Met a homeless group of (new) friends and had a dinner picnic/prayed with them overlooking the bay at a rest area on a mother-daughter date w/God. If you have found EverMan's Natural Grocery, you have found a good thing. :), also the National Seashore and the [email protected] Naval Base. Can't beat the beautiful history/culture around Palafox...Joe Patti's for fresh seafood and overall foodie fantasy. Churches...try them all after scouting them online. You know what you're looking for, especially in this precarious season.

Decide RIGHT NOW...no lies from the enemy about a wasted life (our son delayed driving...plenty of people do, and many in big cities don't bother with it at all). He just doesn't want you to wake up to how intensely you are valued and have been wooed and cherished by your bridegroom, o' Daughter of the King. Satan has been put on notice as you embrace this fresh start and watch the Giver of Every Good and Perfect Gift (James 1:17) use you to fulfill His most important mission for you before our Maranatha is in front of us. Let us know how the church search goes! I will be praying for you, and He will answer! (Jeremiah 33:3 in everything!)
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
Decide RIGHT NOW...no lies from the enemy about a wasted life (our son delayed driving...plenty of people do, and many in big cities don't bother with it at all). He just doesn't want you to wake up to how intensely you are valued and have been wooed and cherished by your bridegroom, o' Daughter of the King. Satan has been put on notice as you embrace this fresh start and watch the Giver of Every Good and Perfect Gift (James 1:17) use you to fulfill His most important mission for you before our Maranatha is in front of us. Let us know how the church search goes! I will be praying for you, and He will answer! (Jeremiah 33:3 in everything!)

This is truth right here! In Christ you are already accepted, blessed, looked upon with great favor and permanently part of God's family. :nod

Believe it or not, when I was younger I greatly struggled with timidity, a sense of worthlessness and the thought of even speaking to people (let alone posting on a board :lol) was terrifying! But, over time, God gently showed me in His Word the completely different and new relationship I had with God because of Christ. The great love and value that's abundently there for His Church....including me!

Just as your new relationship with your husband in marriage opens up connection to family, position and a loving favor, so too, your relationship with Jesus opens up permanent family, position and great, incredible favor with God. And nothing will shut that down.....not even little 'ol you. :) Because God (no matter what) is faithful! He's overwhelmingly faithful.

As the Church we are incredibly and amazingly blessed in the Lord:



Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.

In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.


Ephesians 1:3-14

.....despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Rom 8:37-39

Jesus is our wonderful rest from worry about our performance in order to earn God's favor. Jesus procured 100% favor from God, for us on the cross. And it was His good pleasure to do so. And God the Father is pleased to see Christ in us and come close to us in loving relationship.

Rest in this beautiful and wonderful truth. :)


:hug
 

alisani

Well-Known Member
I'm guilty of tearing myself down a lot. Someone does something and I don't judge them, don't think much of it, they're doing what they think is best, etc. I do it and I'm the worst person/mom/wife/whatever in the world. I won't say we all do it, but speaking for me, I'm my own worst critic. My therapist has called me out on it but I still do it. She'll argue with me in a way to steer me away from being mean to myself. It's a hard habit to break. Struggling with anxiety and sometimes depression makes it worse. It's possible that a lot of people who do struggle with those things are more critical of themselves than people who don't.
Absolutely. Being hyper-critical of myself has been a struggle my whole life. Events from childhood and an abusive mother had me believing myself worthless. My self-criticism developed as a way to spur myself to perfection (an impossibility of course), and as a defense mechanism. An irrational thought that if I beat others to the punch, the criticism I anticipated from them would hurt less. That didn't work out so well for me either. It didn't lessen the sting of criticism when it came and I got to the point where I anticipated criticism where there was none and so my interpersonal relationships suffered for a time. Even my salvation was delayed because while I could read the Old Testament and feel so deserving of God's wrath, I felt too far gone and unworthy of the grace offered through Jesus in the New. My best solution, my only solution was two-fold. The closer I am in my relationship with God, the better able I am to see myself through His lens of love and grace. That stills the negative talk. And also, the closer I am to God, the more aware I am of His love, my commission as His servant and to feel His love in me moving outward to others, that obedience to Him, helps me also feel at peace with myself.

I can appreciate that struggle and I'll be praying big time for you because I know just how painful and destructive it is. :hug
 
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