Hysterectomy aftermath......please HELP !!!

Discussion in 'For the Ladies' started by Ducati, Feb 3, 2012.

  1. Ghoti Ichthus

    Ghoti Ichthus Well-Known Member

    Has your wife looked at the Veteran's Administration? Although they give preference to veterans and military dependents, they always seem to be needing nurses, and they always seem to want experience... The Army, Navy/Marines, and Air Force medical facilities may also be a possibility.
    athenasius, mattfivefour and Ducati like this.
  2. Ducati

    Ducati Well-Known Member

    She would love to take care of Veterans...her only issue with that is there not in a combat wounded condition dripping with blood and limbs hanging off (sorry). She would prefer to be a life saver instead of a care giver. :nurse
    Your advise is taken and greatly appreciated. :smile2
    athenasius and mattfivefour like this.
  3. Soandso

    Soandso Active Member

    DRs caught my wife's uterine cancer at stage 1 and hysterectified her situation. that was nearly 3 years ago. about 3 months ago she was having emotional problems.crying alot.It just happened that her dr who was a woman left that office and she had to chose a different one. She ended up with mine. I wasn't very impressed with him but he adjusted her "crazy pills" as she calls them. It's a night and day difference. Your wife needs to find a different dr.
    athenasius and GoldenEagle like this.
  4. Ducati

    Ducati Well-Known Member

    What exactly are those "crazy pills" ?
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  5. athenasius

    athenasius Well-Known Member

    Oh Ducati, this old RN hears ya! I worked with a lot of great RN's and my nursing cap is off to those who like Emerg and the adrenaline charged nursing situations. I worked there when they needed extra hands on deck, but hated every minute so I'm the opposite of your wife. But I send her a big hug and my deepest sympathies.

    Ducati, many an older RN just has flat out burnout. I sure do. The years of shift work take a toll or at least they did on me. There are things we can't "un see", some of which might lead to PTSD, that is JOB RELATED. That can lead to stress, and anxiety and even body parts breaking down under the stress. Just working shifts alone, puts people at a much higher risk of all kinds of health problems as they age from Diabetes to Heart Attacks and more.

    Maybe an evaluation for PTSD? Especially if she worked Emerg over the years. Just a thought. Not always, just a thought.

    I was also wondering if another good endocrinologist might help. Looking back, I see you have, but another fresh set of eyes perhaps? It's worth remembering that not every endocrinologist graduated at the top of his or her class. Which is why second opinions are so important.

    I have some kind of chronic fatigue auto immune thing that got worse in my late 40's and in my early 50's I had a number of things go sideways. Thyroid problems, recurrent diverticulitis attacks. Hysterectomy to correct chronic endometriosis and fibroids. Bad asthma and rashes due to allergies. Some kind of neurological problem with my muscles and balance. They've tested for MS and if I had more joint involvement they'd call it Lupus because my body attacks me in random ways at random intervals. The closest we've gotten to a diagnosis (we being the drs and me) is Chronic Fatigue, but it doesn't explain the auto immune stuff. Maybe I have both??? Who knows.

    For me some things helped over the last 20 years of trying almost everything from supplements to various meds--I will list what really really helped me in the hopes it may help your wife: and what didn't.

    I went to see that good endocrinologist!!!! Woooo HOOO did that make life easier by 1000%!!!!! My wonderful endocrinologist put me BACK on the thyroid hormones that the throat surgeon and my MD thought I didn't need anymore because the tests always came back normal. (and that was also because in Canada they routinely cancel any Dr ordering a free T4 which would have said I was far from normal which my endocrinologist had fits over, but he fixed me up anyways). And my reg dr was trying to wean me off of Estrogen, with some very bad results in my fatigue.

    Blood tests don't always tell the whole picture btw. My thyroiditis was going untreated for years due to my reg MD and surgeon not realizing the free T4 hadn't been done. Estrogen levels are notoriously difficult to pin down as they fluctuate wildly during a 24 hour period, and the level may NOT reflect the reality of the problem. Takes a GOOD endocrinologist to really suss out the problems there. Again, maybe a second opinion?

    Mine also put me on a slightly higher dose of Estrogen patch which helped a lot. It's not a cure, just a lot better. Like the Synthroid, it helps. Whatever it is that afflicts me is still there, but I can cope better.

    I've warned my MD that we aren't going to mess with that Estrogen patch prescription ever ever again, or the Thyroid one. That balance works, I get a routine mammogram, I'm careful so we are going to totter forth into the future armed with Synthroid and my Estrogen patch!

    I understand your wife has tried all forms of hormone therapy, and they didn't work for her which suggests the problem isn't estrogen, but I'd still wonder about the thyroid function and I mention this more for others who may read this thread for answers.

    I did get help from the hyster sisters site. It does concern me that she isn't the one reading that site, that you were the one to go in to try and find answers for her. But maybe she did, I just noticed upthread that you were on there till they found out you were the husband and not the person who had the hysterectomy.

    Usually the person wanting an answer does the digging. Keep that in mind. You can't help someone who doesn't want help even if they say they do. Look at the actions, not the words. it doesn't make her a bad person, just a frightened one.

    It is scary to lose control over your own life and health without knowing why or even IF there is anything that can be done. It's harder yet when there is no "diagnosis" that you can point to when people say, "but you look so healthy....."And that goes double when you do all the "right things" and it still doesn't help.

    I went low carb. That helped tamp down the inflammation and dialed down the number and severity of my auto immune attacks. I'm not Keto, in fact right now I'm barely low carb, but definitely not high carb. It helps.

    Then I went gluten free and found that helped with the inflammation too. I'm not celiac, I got tested, but it's definitely something that gluten does that isn't good for me. Again, g free helps.

    I try to reduce stress because that is a factor in front of every major auto immune attack. This last year was a slice! My unsaved Dad committed physician assisted suicide in March, a very close relative got way worse, and this fall my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour which thanks to God is not cancer and is responding to a drug instead of having brain surgery. Living in the real world with lots of normal and one really truly psychiatricly unbalanced relation, that can be a challenge ---but a daily walk, and taking melatonin and a tylenol to help me sleep on nights when my brain just won't shut down enough for sleep really helps. Plus Magnesium citrate. That helps to relax me too. I stick to my routines and live as boring a life as possible. And I found a YouTube channel that just reads the Bible, one book at a time. That settles my nerves too. All that may help you more than her but I'm just putting it out there. Take it or leave it, no worries.

    I understand from carefully going back thru this thread that your dear wife is a fitness buff, so she has the exercise and supplements thing nailed, and she's done ALL she can and then some there, but anxiety and stress seem to be a constant mention in this thread over the years.

    I know it's not easy to consider dealing with stress via prescription therapy combined with counseling but sometimes it can really help.

    I did try the antidepressant route, there is one that helps people with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but it didn't help me and gave me an irregular heart beat. I did explore the possibility of a hidden depression with my Dr and we tried it hoping for an answer. If I had been feeling anxious and depressed-- which I honestly wasn't, and if that had helped, I'd have explored going onto another one that didn't cause an arrhythmia.

    That came about from going to see 2 different specialists that helped rule out MS and Lupus. One said she didn't know what was wrong and couldn't help, the other suggested Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is still a strong possibility. I really had high hopes for that antidepressant she put me on. But it didn't do anything other than give me that arrhythmia which stopped once I was off that drug.

    There are several members of my family that are on Welbutrin which is a common antidepressant and doing much better as a result. They all realized when they needed help and got it, and kept their lives on track as a result. I'm NOT suggesting that drug or any other. Just explaining my experiences.

    There is however one member of my family who refuses any and all psychiatric help although she desperately needs it, and she has caused terrible stress to the rest of us.

    All we can do, is pray for her and keep ourselves as much up and out of the drama as we can.

    Until she is willing to get help, she has to struggle. It's the only way she can maybe accept that she has a problem, and reach out for healing.

    Love is not enough. And the struggle IS possibly an answer to prayer, an answer that God has given to get her to the place of looking for help instead of blaming things on her circumstances and her family and her husband.

    God will sometimes allow the valleys to get our eyes on Him and open our ears to things He wants us to deal with. I pray for her. And those she has hurt along the way.

    I'm watching her husband struggle now with his health, his heart trouble and his stress as a result. She has driven most of her children away. It's bad. She is destroying her life and refusing to acknowledge that she might have a psychiatric problem that actually could be helped. She was hospitalized briefly under orders of the RCMP (our Canadian police) twice, and when medicated she gets better briefly, then gets out and the cycle repeats.

    That is my own life and my own experiences, and the situation is very VERY different for your wife, but it's the one thing, thru this whole thread that keeps coming up--- her stress and anxiety and her desire to NOT take pills for it.

    It may be in facing that difficult possibility--that it's the stress, the anxiety itself that is making stuff worse, that fear of being less than perfect, may be her walking thru her valley. Counseling with appropriate meds might make a world of difference or none at all, but till she is willing to try it, neither of you will know for sure. And that is something only she can decide. Because of her job, she is at risk of PTSD.

    Lastly the one thing I learnt in struggling with my own relative, is that much as I'd like to help her, I can't. Not till she is ready to accept the help the way it comes. Not till she is ready to try the available help that is offered. And right now she is refusing because she has decided she isn't the problem, it's the rest of us, and the police and the psych unit and the psychiatrist that are out to get her. We aren't out to get her but she is so invested in not being called crazy that she is avoiding any psychiatric help.

    That is super hard. There is such stigma in having mental health related problems, and there are some real issues around that as we age. Methods that we used to rely on to "power thru" when we were younger--working out more, busying ourselves at work, having a healthy body-- don't work well as we age and the problems surface. Being the caregiver, the medical professional, the one who is in charge makes it even harder to accept help.

    The biggy in there is the loss of control. When we are young, and healthy, we have the illusion of control. We can do things, change stuff, fix things. When age and infirmity hit, we lose the ability to make a difference, or so it seems. The loss of control over your life, your health, even your mind is terrifying. And that terror can stop a person in their tracks, stop them from getting help for fear of what the real problem might be.

    Your wife deserves the best care, and a Dr who explores all the options, not just the hormones and the supplements and the thyroid issues but also the fears and anxieties, the struggles with mental health that sometimes do crop up as we age.

    Hugs to both of you! Hope it helps.
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2019
    Kem, Lynn, Ducati and 1 other person like this.
  6. GoldenEagle

    GoldenEagle Well-Known Member

    What an absolutely outstanding post in many ways..so much wisdom too. I would love to have a coffee with you in real life - you are someone I think I could really talk to.
    Kem, Lynn, Ducati and 1 other person like this.
  7. athenasius

    athenasius Well-Known Member

    I've enjoyed your posts too GoldenEagle, and it will be wonderful after the Rapture catching up with the people we got to know and love here on RF.

    I'm really glad Ducati started this thread, and has updated it regularly. Not all answers to prayer are the way we hope, and even though God is working thru the valleys, its' hard in the valley to see His hand moving and answering, even though He is. But it's the valley stuff that is the most valuable as I look back on my life. I am 62, and for 20 years I've been praying for healing and God has answered, but not the way I thought. A better way. A way that has me depending on HIM and not on me and my strength.

    Ducati has such a fundamental honesty and persistence, and this thread is a wonderful look at persistence in prayer, love that doesn't give up and not losing faith in the valleys.
    Kem, Lynn, ByGod'sGrace and 2 others like this.
  8. Carl

    Carl Well-Known Member

    May God put your wife in the perfect position for her Ducati!
  9. Ducati

    Ducati Well-Known Member

    I cant express my thanks and love for all the prayers and support this has given me through the years......YEARS ??!!!.....oh my gosh , it has been years. :gaah How times fly's when your having fun.

    Tho He slay me.......:pray
    Kem, Lynn, athenasius and 1 other person like this.

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