Holiday frustration

Poc4dw

Member
I love/hate Thanksgiving. First, I host extended family. I plan for weeks and cook everything myself. They show up, do very little, eat, and then ask what’s next. They stay for days - and rarely say thank you.

I encourage their involvement by saying, “I’m open to your ideas” when asked what’s next on the schedule. When I do, however, hubby gets irritated because I’m not being a good host. Then I get angry, and he accuses me of overreacting.

Seriously, I’m not Superwoman!
 

Kaatje

Well-Known Member
I love/hate Thanksgiving. First, I host extended family. I plan for weeks and cook everything myself. They show up, do very little, eat, and then ask what’s next. They stay for days - and rarely say thank you.

I encourage their involvement by saying, “I’m open to your ideas” when asked what’s next on the schedule. When I do, however, hubby gets irritated because I’m not being a good host. Then I get angry, and he accuses me of overreacting.

Seriously, I’m not Superwoman!
You don’t have to be. Don’t get angry, get help.

Go Dutch, next year, let all your guests bring something to the table.
If you are a stickler for the whole roast and trimmings thing,
you can even hand out cards with details on who to bring what.

Not to bring anything, means nothing to eat,
but they that have gathered it shall eat it, and praise the LORD (Isa. 62)
 

lightofmylife

Blessed Hope-Prepare To Fly!
I love/hate Thanksgiving. First, I host extended family. I plan for weeks and cook everything myself. They show up, do very little, eat, and then ask what’s next. They stay for days - and rarely say thank you.

I encourage their involvement by saying, “I’m open to your ideas” when asked what’s next on the schedule. When I do, however, hubby gets irritated because I’m not being a good host. Then I get angry, and he accuses me of overreacting.

Seriously, I’m not Superwoman!
People should want to help the person who is having it at their house. It is too much for 1 person to do. I understand your frustration. Hope your day goes well with your company this year. Happy Blessed Thanksgiving!
 

Kerbluey

Well-Known Member
Any holiday with a big family turnout is stressful. Over the years, we have had several with dozens attending. No more, not worth all the stress for a 30 minute meal.
Yep. We gave it up too. We also gave up gift exchanges at Christmas, and I’m sure the hostile reaction to that bomb was heard round the world. Best thing we ever did though.

I highly recommend to the OP that you do what you’re comfortable with and nothing more and make your plan very, very clear ahead of time. You’ll get push back (prepare yourself), but I guarantee nobody has ever died over who cooks thanksgiving dinner. What about eating out? We love to do that on holidays. Last year we had Asian, but lots of places serve traditional meals. It’s SO much better than all that cooking and cleaning.
 

Poc4dw

Member
Seems to me he too is the host and needs to be responsible for about half the extra work.
True. Hubby is hands-off. He has high expectations, and I try to meet them because I love him.

Over the years he’s had to adjust. I can only do so much, and he must accept it - but he still gets irritated. He’s retired army, so he’s inflexible.

But God was wonderful this Thanksgiving. My extended family was very grateful! We had a glorious time...praise God!

Thanks for letting me get this out.
 
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