Hello

GoldenEagle

Well-Known Member
Hi Lane,

I’ve been wondering how you are getting along? I’ve noticed you quite often pop in which is good - I hope you are learning, growing and being built up in the Lord.

Anyway, you’ve been on my heart ever such a lot these last few weeks so just wanted to tell you that really.

God Bless
GE
 

Tlross91

Member
Hello to everyone who so graciously and kindly replied to my post. Each and every one of you.

I appreciate the concern. I truly do. I won’t lie and say I’m in a great place. I was.. in a 1.6 yr engagement with a man who saved my life.

Yes, homosexuality is the sin I struggle with. Truthfully, I was hesitant to state that here.. because despite the kindness and welcomeness I’ve experienced and seen here... I also see the occasional post being less than... kind to stories of other gay individuals.. and some rather unkind adjectives that have been used.

I beg of y’all to not take it as if I’m standing up for the sin I’m caught in. It is truly repulsive. Please also do not fall under the impression that everyone with same sex attractions are on board with the lgbtqrxz agenda. Most I have met and nyelfbincluded are absolutely not. The lobbyists for that cause do not represent even the majority of us who struggle with this. I am at heartbabvery conservative constitutionalist who hates how the lobbyists carve out special rights for a vastly minor percentage of us. That is simply untrue.all the majority of those who struggle with this simply desire to be treated as humans; not frowned upon/treated as worth less than others... called derogatory names... not ostracized from society. Yes, the is reprehensible. Nongetting around that. However, and this breaks my heart because I am familiar with the history of our countries founding as a devout Christian nation, we truly are no longer a Christian nation.. and suffering the consequences of that. Being the way as it is, there is no right In ostracizing those of us Who struggle with this. Some of are simply not receptive to the message of the redemming blood. I’m thatbcase, it doesn’t justify degrading or treating those of us as anything less than human. Choices are made, and no amount of witnessing will change those minds. So, question is. Does that justify treating those people with anything less than respect? I get it; do not associate with them. But in a public setting, what will resentment and anger be productive toward them accomplish? Neither side will be changed, so, does that justify ugly words that are not from the Bible but our modern lexicon? Does the Bible not tell us to love the sinner but hate the sin? I am not twisting scripture mind you. However, does it justify rudeness or hate? And when I say hate, I have experienced it from several Christians? How will that ever win any of our souls to Christ? Please express you’re religious convictions! That is your duty. However true hate is not.

All that being said, I werestoe with this daily. It consumes me. I know it’s wrong. I broke it off for the purpose of getting out of the mess of my spiritual life. But as it so happens, and as wrong as it is, I just so happened to meet a guy who is my absolute dream, for the record-love between two men is inheriy dysfunctional. Men and women differ for a reason, a man is unable go be a ‘helper’ a woman is meant to be.

However, I will say true earthly love may be present in some homosexual relationships. I have experienced it so I can vouch. However, it will always end badly... here or in hell. Yet I can’t seem to shake my abhorsnce if loneliness. All I want is someone I love to snuggle up to and hold at night. And companionship. While the flesh enjoys the sex.. I could do without that.

I was raped years and that.. broke something inside me. Especially pertaining to sex. I could take or leave it. But I am so so lonely. I suffer with manic depression/bipolar type 1 with rapid cycling and ptsd due to... an... unstsble and toxic family dynamic growing up. This conplicstes everything. I see a doctor and therapist for this. Am on four medications. Mood stabilizers, anti psychotics.. the world. And I’m conflicted about that.

But this man I met; I love him. Yet I know exactly what I should do. I do, I promise. But ooooohhh the loneliness at night. Is unbearable. I want to completely change my life and this is hanging me up, I want the strength, but always run back. And ex I pop in almost daily.ive broken relationships off to get close to god, but it never works.

While I know what I should do, wise coun

I also know if I follow god in this, that I will have no earthly mate. That thought truly terrifies me. So bad.
 

Tlross91

Member
Wise kind council would be greatly appreciated. It would. I wish I were sting enough to do as I should. I just fear the loneliness. So much. And I do truly love him, but I need to find the strength to do as god wishes. I just, idk. I’m so scared. And confused. And torn.

Sorry for the spill. Thanks!
 
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Tlross91

Member
And for the record, I was crushed by the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage. Not simply because of the ruling, but for the slippery slope it created... look at the push to normalize pedophelia!. And for the reason that it was forced upon the American people. It was asanine.
 

GoldenEagle

Well-Known Member
I really respect you for opening up - I know it can’t have been easy because openness makes one vulnerable. But I also believe it is a step of brokenness and humility which the bible tells us draws God’s grace to us.
 

GoldenEagle

Well-Known Member
I personally am sorry for the hatred you have experienced both from Christians and non Christians. I don’t believe this to be right or in any way Godly. Like you said.. we are to hate the sin but love the sinner. Far too often I’ve seen Christians cross the line into hating the sinner.
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
Wise kind council would be greatly appreciated. It would. I wish I were sting enough to do as I should. I just fear the loneliness. So much. And I do truly love him, but I need to find the strength to do as god wishes. I just, idk. I’m so scared. And confused. And torn.

Sorry for the spill. Thanks!
:hug

Your very brave confession reminded me of this scripture:

Struggling with Sin
14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin.15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. Romans 7:14-25. This is the Apostle Paul sharing what we all have encountered.

Here's the Good News for those who have faith in Christ:

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. 4 He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.

5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

Rom 8:1-8

Abraham was, humanly speaking, the founder of our Jewish nation. What did he discover about being made right with God? 2 If his good deeds had made him acceptable to God, he would have had something to boast about. But that was not God’s way. 3 For the Scriptures tell us, “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” Romans 4:1-4

If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. Rom 10:9-10

For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. Rom 5:10

Faith in Christ is what saves you, not your subsequent, progressive formation in Christ (which begins in each believer), and not any actions on our part.

In response to Christ's salvation in our lives we desire, with the help of the Holy Spirit sent to guide, strengthen, encourage, to live lives conformed to Christ. Often, that just takes time.


Tlross91, it sounds like you may be a believer in Christ, but due to some serious challenges in your life you find yourself wrestling with sin... and, don't we all struggle at times. :sad


I was raped years and that.. broke something inside me. Especially pertaining to sex. I could take or leave it. But I am so so lonely. I suffer with manic depression/bipolar type 1 with rapid cycling and ptsd due to... an... unstsble and toxic family dynamic growing up. This conplicstes everything. I see a doctor and therapist for this.
I am so very sorry for these very tough challenges. Good for you that you are seeking help, this will be very important in your journey to allowing God to heal some deep wounds. In time, as the deep wounds are cleansed and healed, and as you focus on Christ and your relationship with Him, who is always with us, I believe the symptoms of the wounds will also heal. God does know deeply the very difficult challenges you are facing, He knows your pain and He cares. If God could help Paul, who described himself as chief of sinners, He can help me and you. :) Jesus came for such a man as you, and for such a person as myself knowing knowing how entrapped to sin we were to, free us and help us. Remember this, where a human being may abandon us, God will never. Trust His Word where He tells us for the Father himself loves you dearly because you love me and believe that I [Jesus] came from God. John 16:27

As you continue to trust, choose (sometimes minute by minute) to also trust that God is going to walk with you on this journey and help you. That may be in small incremental steps.

You did the right thing to reach out to brothers and sisters for support in your desire to follow God. :) :hug. We will :pray for and with you.

In the meantime at this thread below are some stories you may identify with. I believe there is also a possibility to find further compassionate, knowledgable and Godly support at the website quoted.

Perhaps through this site you can find a good support group and also a bible study. A support group/ bible study for your situation will be really important in combating lonliness and propelling you on a Godly path.

https://www.raptureforums.com/forums/threads/god-calls-in-love.137146/
 
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Tlross91

Member
Hello

Okay, so I am being rushed this morning as I have a doctors appointment so I can not respond to the above points-however, please know that you’re responses have touched my heart and are very dear to me. Especially your confession of struggling with bipolar as well. It is all too easy to feel alone with these issues. I was diagnosed just last year but it explains the issues I’ve faced the last nine years of my life.. I almost died in ‘09 from a horribly traumatic head injury with an open wound to the brain and while there is no physical damage which shows on scans... my doctor said soft brain tissue injures are often not visible until an autopsy. After the wreck, my parents and closest friends tell me my personality changed 100% and I do know my mental health issues are worse. I’ve found some relief with the moss stabilizers I am on, but am hesitant to place my full faith in secular doctors as from my studies in university I’m aware of the ‘science’ of psychology and it’s downfalls. I’m saying all this, I’m trying to say that it is something that affects me deeply and to hear that you face similar issues is comforting in that I’m not alone.


And while I do not believe in cheap salvation or once saved always saved as a liscence for sin... I truly was saved many years ago and due to my lifestyle choices have been defeated and worried so that I’ve ruined my salvation even though intellectually I do not believe this from studying His word. I have simply destroyed my witness and more than likely placed a stumbling block in others lives which absolutely crushes me when I think of it.

And when I’d mentioned the hate I’ve experienced, let me add a little caveat. Of course we should have hate for this awful sin. ‘Homophobia’ is a ridiculous made up term that I despise. But, my argument against hate is simply from the angle that showing hate for individuals struggling with this will never bring them to the knowledge of salvation, no, a practicing homosexual should not be allowed to truly join a church or similar, but I believe a church should open its doors to those who are truly struggling so we can find help and support and comfort and tools to change our lives.


Thank you, again. I was nervous of spilling... and my first post was written in a deep depression when I was with my ex knowing I needed out and being convicted of such. I so needed to hear the encouragement I received and it touched my heart. I was just afraid once I told what I was truly struggling with that kindness might change, as I have experienced that very circumstance when I’ve sought help from Christians before.

Thank you and I truly love everyone here. Despite not outwardly livin it, y’all have kept my mind returning to Christ.

Lane
 

Jan51

Well-Known Member
I believe sometimes God allows great loneliness in our lives to drive us to Him. He wants to be our all in all. He desires our love and fellowship--He created us for that purpose. In any relationship, there is speaking and listening, much quality time spent together. In reading, studying and meditating on His Word, we hear His voice, and in prayer we respond to that and speak to Him. The more time you can spend in these two things, the more God will heal your loneliness. We want a body, someone to see, hear and touch; we don't understand how God can meet that need. But He can, in a way no fleshly human can. But it often doesn't happen until we are desperate for Him, because He has arranged our lives so that there is no other option. That loneliness that you see as a curse is actually a blessing, a gift from God--don't run from it! Start devouring His Word. You will learn to crave the Lord and His fellowship, love and peace more than any human.
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
...my argument against hate is simply from the angle that showing hate for individuals struggling with this will never bring them to the knowledge of salvation,
:sad Yes, Christ himself as he interacted with all people, who were all sinners, drew them with his kindness and reaching out in various ways. At the same time, out of His great love, Jesus pointed to that which He knew would be the very best, faith in Christ and from there the power through the Holy Spirit to overcome, and a new family (body of Christ) to help and support in this. To spurn an alcoholic, attempting to recover, with anger, hatred and unkindness will only propel an alcoholic back to the bottle. Rather, it is loving kindness pointing to the best way, sometimes very firm kindness, sourced out of love that gives one courage and strength to embark on the right path.

The Apostle Paul understood this and wrote:

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Gal 6:1-3

Notice Paul said 'some sin', but did not put in 'except for THAT sin'. All of us have the danger of being overcome by any type of sin and all of us need support and help to get back on the right path if we are overcome by sin, and support and help to continue on the right path.


no, a practicing homosexual should not be allowed to truly join a church or similar, but I believe a church should open its doors to those who are truly struggling so we can find help and support and comfort and tools to change our lives.
Absolutely agree! The same is done for alcoholics and other issues. There's a need for those in your situation (as you know) to have someone who's been in the same shoes and allowed God to lead that person out of the muck, who can knowledgeably and spiritually mentor and encourage. You could some day be that very person for someone else. Even now, your humble confession of sin and asking for help and support is a great example. Your sharing the struggle that you've been alone with helps to give others understanding on how to approach one who is desperately asking for a life preserve so that they may be pulled out of dangerous waters (how horrible it would be to turn and walk away from such a person, careful compassion with preserving boundaries needs to fill the heart here to help a struggling brother/sister in Christ). Your honesty helps to show the body of Christ the very real need of support for those who desire to overcome in Christ, but need the strength and faith of others to direct, bolster and encourage in the right direction.

Alcoholics may stumble various times (not a license to sin here, but acknowledging the challenge) but, it is those who despite this, continue to focus on a path of sobriety and avail themselves of support and acknowledge that they are powerless over their addictions (and all humanity is powerless over sin....which is why Christ came, to rescue us) and put their faith in God who helps those little by little to emerge victorious. Support from those who've struggled and through Christ have overcome, is very important. This is why Paul wrote what he wrote.

I truly was saved many years ago and due to my lifestyle choices have been defeated and worried so that I’ve ruined my salvation even though intellectually I do not believe this from studying His word. I have simply destroyed my witness and more than likely placed a stumbling block in others lives which absolutely crushes me when I think of it.
You strike me as one squarely and honestly facing sin for what it is. Now that's a person that God can work with.

Here's what John wrote to believers in Christ, a church of which were growing Christians, but just like us today, needed to cleanse their feet as they get dirty:

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1John 1:9

I think you already know this is not a license to sin, that we are to run from sin, but living in this world will at times splash some mud on us. God is faithful and just to forgive us, based on (not you or me, nor our actions) the eternal, saving work of Jesus Christ lovingly accomplished for us.

Also, in 1Corinthians there is a man who was living in great sin, very sobering sin. Yes, the church was instructed to keep their distance, but that was because there was no remorse, no acknowledgement of the condition he was in, no efforts or even desire to turn around. However, most beautifully, when he had sorrow that lead to Godliness and repented (changed direction) Paul instructed the church to forgive, accept and love him lest he become inconsolably discouraged. That is an incredible, mind blowing mercy of God!

Not only does it seem that you are honestly facing the sin in your life, your attitude seems to be humble. That's very good, for God says,

The high and lofty one who lives in eternity,
the Holy One, says this:
“I live in the high and holy place
with those whose spirits are contrite and humble.
I restore the crushed spirit of the humble
and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts.
Isaiah 57:15



And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say,


“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.


So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:6-7


Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Do not let your enemy overwhelm you with hopelessness, but trust that God, in His time, can heal and restore you in ways you may not realize. This is important.

God can use you for wonderful good, don't limit what He can or may want to do in your life. Many times, it's people, who've walked in difficult paths and allowed God to work in their lives so as to live in victory (with much practice and patience) who God uses to reach out to others to also help lift them up out of the mire and stand on solid ground.

This is why I provided that link for you, so you can be encouraged by others whom God has done a wonderful work in their lives. So, you can know you are not alone. So that you can have renewed hope that the Lord can and desires to work in your life too.

Persistently ask God to provide a place of support for you, continue to seek Him for this need. He knows your desire for help and will provide.

Know this, stand on this.....the Lord is for you, He is on your side to help. He already sent His Son to die and pay for all of our sins, it is God's intentions to redeem even the most filthy of person and seemingly hopeless of all people. This is the very way that God is glorified, through the incredible grace that's extended. Do not let your enemy whisper the lie that you have been abandoned, but let the Lord's voice prevail that encourages you to follow Him to the right and safe path.

Then the angel showed me Jeshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord. The Accuser, Satan, was there at the angel’s right hand, making accusations against Jeshua. And the Lord said to Satan, “I, the Lord, reject your accusations, Satan. Yes, the Lord, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebukes you. This man is like a burning stick that has been snatched from the fire.

Jeshua’s clothing was filthy as he stood there before the angel. So the angel said to the others standing there, “Take off his filthy clothes.” And turning to Jeshua he said, “See, I have taken away your sins, and now I am giving you these fine new clothes.”


Then I said, “They should also place a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean priestly turban on his head and dressed him in new clothes while the angel of the Lord stood by.


Zech 3:1-5

:pray ing
 
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