God's Plan for Aging

Discussion in 'Christian Jokes and Humor' started by SonSeeker, Apr 6, 2019.

  1. SonSeeker

    SonSeeker Well-Known Member

    God's Plan for Aging

    Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

    Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

    Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

    So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

    Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

    #9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
    #8 Life is sexually transmitted .

    #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    #6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

    #5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years!

    #4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

    #3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    #2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now that the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

    #1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

    Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.
     
  2. yeshua'sbride

    yeshua'sbride ♥ Standing with Israel

  3. GoldenEagle

    GoldenEagle Well-Known Member

  4. Forgiven1

    Forgiven1 Well-Known Member

  5. Brother Albert R.

    Brother Albert R. Well-Known Member

    You deserve another :scoregood, SonSeeker.
    Very funny:rofl
    Brother ALbert
    PS SonSeeker, I hope you didn't have a Jalapeno or when you go you just might...:explode
     
  6. Brother Albert R.

    Brother Albert R. Well-Known Member

    Nice to see you back Golden Eagle...have you run into Simon at all in the UK? If you do tell him that we all miss him posting...just like you.
    God bless you,
    Brother ALbert
     
  7. Kaatje

    Kaatje Well-Known Member

    I like this one.
    Very profound.
     
  8. GoldenEagle

    GoldenEagle Well-Known Member

    Thank you Brother Albert, I appreciate that. :hug
     
    Judy4Jesus, Lynn, SonSeeker and 4 others like this.
  9. Almost Heaven

    Almost Heaven Well-Known Member

    Me too!
    :scoregood
     
  10. Carl

    Carl Well-Known Member

    So that is what I have! I thought I was sick!:lolsign
     
  11. SonSeeker

    SonSeeker Well-Known Member

    If I didn't know better, I'd think this is the voice of experience speaking.:p:D
     
  12. Brother Albert R.

    Brother Albert R. Well-Known Member

    Me think you right...;)
     
  13. Kaatje

    Kaatje Well-Known Member

    Hey guys, @SonSeeker and @Brother Albert R., give a girl a break here.
    I’m NOT on Prozac, any stress I’ll eat away with a nice bar of chocolate.
    ..... Guess that makes me cocao-dependant ..... :kay
     
  14. Brother Albert R.

    Brother Albert R. Well-Known Member

    :lolsign:scoregood
     
  15. SonSeeker

    SonSeeker Well-Known Member

    :thumbup
     
  16. Judy4Jesus

    Judy4Jesus Well-Known Member

    Y'all are FULL OF IT...hilarity that is!! :wink :laugh
     
    yeshua'sbride and Kaatje like this.

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