Forgiveness and Those Not Present


Well-Known Member
I didn’t know where to put this. But what does the Bible say about forgiveness if someone is not there to hear it? Is it too late or can we simply forgive that person in our hearts. Will God be displeased because we are not doing His will? I ask because there are people in my life that I’ve never approached about certain issues. My dad was an angry person who was verbally and sometimes emotionally abusive. I forgave him for his behavior after his passing, but does it really matter now. I also was brutally bullied as a child and as a teen and I have forgiven the bullies although I never saw them again and probably never will.


I Shall Not Be Moved
I think I only truly forgave my nephew for a wrong sometime after he died. It took me years.
There's another small group of people it has taken many years to forgive. It's hard.

The only way I can forgive these people is through Jesus Christ. My inner man is dead set against forgiveness.

Some of these folks didn't know me very well and I'm sure they don't remember me or what they did. I don't even know their names. But I despised them. Jesus knows I have let it go and HE is the one who matters.
I think it's ok to not be able to tell a person that you have forgiven them.


Choose Your Words Carefully...
Forgiveness does more to release us than release others.

Even God's forgiveness is hampered when we fail to forgive ourselves.

Many have clung to the I'm not worthy self imposed damnation which comes from hell.

OF COURSE we are not worthy. Its not about us being something we cant be,

Its about understand how much God love us.
Its about Him meeting our need at great selfless cost,
Its about how precious we are to Him.

And some, in a sort of fake humility refuse to accept God would forgive their sins, because they're not good enough.
We do need to be honest about what we are, but then we must accept Christ, His forgiveness,
then forgive ourselves and become the new creation He has ordained us to be.
To walk in faith - believing we are forgiven.

And if the opportunity is there, forgive and ask forgiveness from those we have encountered in some kind of offense.

God will use that, to help you grow, and maybe use it to open someone else's heart to God's forgiveness.

And even though we may think we can't forgive, With God ALL things are possible.
Give it to Him and trust Him to take care of it.


Staff member
I think it is important to forgive people. But you can forgive people, but that doesn't mean you have to be around them. Some people due to personality traits, temper, etc. it is just better to stay away from them. Especially if you find yourself always having trouble with them. That could be friends, family, etc.

One of these days we will be redeemed and made perfect. We will then be able to fellowship in harmony with others. But I think sometimes we will find it too difficult on this side of things. JMHO.


Well-Known Member
I forgave my hateful sister-in-law several years before she passed. I’m not sure if there was something mentally wrong with her or if just evil. My belief is just evilness looking into her eyes. I felt such relief for myself because I had come to grips with the situation. It is kind of like just turning it over to God.


Well-Known Member
I find it interesting that those of you who have responded have had the same experiences I’ve had. I guess I was looking for what the Bible says about this other than Jesus told us to forgive and accept the forgiveness of others. I guess what is most important is what is in our hearts. Perhaps wanting to know how the other person thinks and feels makes it more about us and our own sense of validation as opposed to letting go.


Choose Your Words Carefully...
When its pain, injury, violation, cruelty... there are many cases of injustice where most of us would find it impossible to forgive.
Especially from an unrepentant or lying perpetrator.

Yet, turning the other cheek s the highest calling.

We are not called to be fools. Neither doormats nor enablers.

And laws are to be a terror to evil.

But to allow hate and revenge to fester in our hearts will only tear us down. Perhaps the essence of forgiveness is to give it to God.
To acknowledge HE knows the Truth, He understands the failing, He understands the pain. To surrender to His Perfect Justice and Mercy.

And then, to consider how unjust it was for Christ to suffer our penalty.
From there we need to thank Him for His Grace and Mercy.

And pray for the power to go beyond the pain and forgive as He does us.


It is possible to forgive without them hearing it or knowing about it. One day a few years ago, a co-worker, who professed to be a Christian, were talking with other co-workers near my workstation. He got to laughing about a story and used the Lord's name in vain. I did pull him aside and spoke with him about and he apologized. Still in my heart it hurt. Maybe it was the same day, but for the first time in my life, I asked God to please help me through this and take it off my shoulders and heart. It worked! I felt that burden physically leave me.