Does the SpaceX Starship look fat?

[Footsteps]

Gone are the days of the sleek Atlas and Titan rockets. Men are going to Mars in something that looks like a bulging grain silo. Now I know why.
The Ingenuity helicopter on Mars has been surveilling the planet's surface for wide, flat areas for ballot drop boxes. Democrats have long been resentful that Mars is the Red Planet. Soon the wide bodied Starship will be transporting hundreds of ballot recepticals to Mars to ensure absentee voting.
Perseverance is not the first lander to visit Mars. In 1975 Viking I successfully landed on Mars and actually photographed several blue Martians looking at the lander from the top of a meteor crater ridge about a mile from the camera. DNC campaign funds were tapped to pay the Jet Propulsion Lab to classify this discovery as Top Secret.
The SpaceX Starship (nicknamed "Huge Hillary") contains storage space for receptacles and ballots sufficient to allow thousands of blue Martian Marxists to vote after being drawn to signage such as GET FREE STUFF and WORKERS OF MARS UNITE.
But the joke's on the Dems. The photographed Martians were not a mile away. They were lined up on top of a boulder fifteen feet from the camera lens, and are so small they can't reach the handles on the ballot box lids.
Mars ain't the kind of place to indoctrinate your kids-
In fact it's red as h***.

 

[Footsteps]

Update:
SpaceX has just denied any connection between the oversize Chinese rocket which will crash to Earth this weekend and its Mars election mission. The massive Chinese rocket, named Ballot Harvest, is described by the CCP as "An integral component of global surveillance which will identify countries with the most carbon emissions. Our preliminary findings indicate huge clouds of stinking gas directly above Paris".

 

[Ghoti Ichthus]

If it lands in Minnesota, it'll get taxed. If it lands in water (good chance), it'll get taxed again. And all those ballots will get wet Don't forget the littering fines . . .

In any case, prayer vigils, street preaching, protests, rallies, and immigration welcome parties will commence . . . and a pop-up vaccination site

 

[Footsteps]

The Commerce Department will announce the creation of 736,843 green jobs in the space debris cleanup industry, making up for the shortfall in the latest jobs report. New employees can work from home collecting suspicious objects made in China, beginning the day after their unemployment compensation runs out.

 

[Footsteps]

The Martian Chronicles Part III-
Believe it or not!
Elon Musk's Ingenuity helicopter went missing for 24 hours. Video from the rover has revealed shocking facts about Martians!
First, the diminutive blue chipmunk sized Martians are not blue skinned. The original classified photo from 1975 showed the color of their spacesuits! This fact was revealed when the video showed a precision operation by the MPs (Martian Police), who had commandeered the helicopter, and were using it to lower Martian Policemen onto the roof of a ballot drop box prototype covertly pushed out of Perseverance. Tiny camera flashes were exploding like popcorn, collecting crime scene evidence. One member of the landing party, overcome by the scene, had to be lifted back to the Ingenuity in a rescue basket.
Tune in tomorrow for Episode IV: Mars Strikes Back!

 

[Footsteps]

Episode IV: Mars Strikes Back!

The Ingenuity Helicopter, re-chistened "Mars Force One" by Chipmunk in Chief Alvin II, has begun Operation Educate Earth with some good-natured humor. Ingenuity now performs daily flyovers of the NASA rover while trailing banners with Donald Trump's face asking MISS ME YET? A smaller banner appears to mock SpaceX with "A cologne that repels everyone: Elon Musk".
More to come in the next episode: Mars Regurgitates the Recent History of America - Literally! (may not be appropriate for WOKE viewers).

 

[Footsteps]

Martin Chronicles
The Final Chapter:
"Failing Grade"

Posted on a billboard so the rover can read it:

To the People of America:

By now you have realized that neither our skins nor spacesuits are blue. What you see are police uniforms. Needless to say, "Defund the Police" is not part of our culture.
You have spent billions of dollars to discover what is already obvious: Mars is a larger "Moon" - a dusty rock that holds nothing of value to the human race. Elon has already admitted that many will die trying to survive the nine month trip to this barren wasteland, hoping that all the landing gimmickry works so that Earth will not have to listen to the crew slowly starve 195 million miles from home.
Then the plan is to construct communities protected from the planet on which it sits, continuously supplied with oxygen it manufacturers itself, while hoping that hackers do not shut down your computers.
How sad that massive amounts of money that could have improved life on Earth will be directed to the ultimate fiasco only because Elon "cannot imagine anything more exciting".
The ultimate irony is that if you had given as much attention to the Holy Bible as you gave to the Physical Properties of Dark Matter, you would know that many Christians are about to give you a shock by disappearing before your eyes without needing so much as a rocket backpack. During their travels to more "exciting" lands, they may improve living conditions on Mars, and give your astronauts a decent burial.

PS

The "exciting revelations" you are about to see on TV regarding what your government knows about UFOs will be a boring rehash of previously released fables. No sentient visitors from galaxies light years distant would bother to visit your chaotic orb for a vacation. Your visitors fall into one of two spirit being types:
Those trying to show you how to live forever happily, beginning immediately. And-
Those that want to harass you in this life, and lure you into an eternity as miserable as Mars without a spacesuit.
Here's how to tell the difference in your celestial visitors:
During a close encounter with the bad ones, you have nothing but evil happen, ranging from memory loss to a physical exam. If you can remember your abduction, note that your "advanced" examiners used equipment from Medieval times to "analyze" you: Needles in your eyeballs and private parts, etc. Not so much as an MRI in the whole examining room. Have they ever provided mankind with ONE GOOD THING? The cure for cancer? Covid? The common cold? I'll wait.

 

[Andy C]

Does the SpaceX Starship look fat? Whenever Im asked if anything makes something look fat, I learned the hard way its better not to answer.​