Compassionate Lying Does Not Honor God

Chris

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Staff member
Compassionate Lying Does Not Honor God
By Dr. David L. Goetsch

You have probably found yourself in this situation. Someone asks your opinion but to answer truthfully would hurt their feelings or make them angry. It’s the old “does this dress make me look fat” kind of question. Rather than cause distress, you tell a “compassionate lie.” It’s just a little white lie and your intentions are good. Surely no one will fault me for that. Right? Wrong.

The problem with compassionate lying is that it is still lying. When you face this kind of moral dilemma, remember this rule of thumb: the right choice is the choice that honors God no matter what the fallout might be. Tell the truth. Be tactful and even gentle, but tell the truth.

What does it mean to honor God? How does a Christian who wants to walk worthy of this calling and, in turn, live a life of significance go about honoring God every day? What follows are specific things you can do to walk worthily down a path that honors God and leads to a life of significance.

Tell the Truth​

There is only one source of truth: God’s Word. Ensure every choice you make in life accords with God’s Word. Telling the truth may cause you embarrassment in the eyes of your peers and hurt someone’s feelings. But it in the long run, only the truth can set you free (John 8:32).

Heed the Greatest Commandment in all Aspects of Your Life​

In Matthew 22:34-40 Christ gave us the bottom line when it comes to walking worthy of our calling and living lives of significance. He told us to love God with all our heart and love our neighbors as ourselves. When we love God with all our heart, behavior based on lust, greed, self-centeredness, misguided ambition, envy, jealousy, and other sinful motives including lying can no longer be justified. When we love our neighbors as ourselves, we in turn show love for Christ. Never forget Jesus told the Apostle Peter not once but three times that the best way to demonstrate his love for Christ was to feed his sheep (John 21:15-17). When we take care of our neighbors, we are feeding Christ’s sheep. When we feed His sheep, we are walking worthy of our calling and living lives of significance. This is the opposite of lying.

Show Others Christian Love as Described in 1 Corinthians 13​

The quintessential Bible verses on Christian love are found in 1 Corinthians 13. In verse 4, love is described as being “patient and kind.” We learn in verses 4-7 that people who personify Christian love are “not arrogant or rude,” they do not “insist on their own way,” are “not irritable or resentful,” and do “not rejoice at wrongdoing.” Rather, they rejoice in “the truth.” People who are guided by 1 Corinthians 13 in how they treat other people are walking worthy of their calling and living lives of significance.

Commit to Pleasing God Instead of the World​

One of the principal reasons we sometimes lie is to tell others what they want to hear. We want to please our peers rather than God. Seeking to please God rather than the world will never be easy. You can do well today and backslide tomorrow. This happens to all of us. Because of our fallen nature, we will always feel the lure of worldly approval. When you find yourself wanting to please your peers instead of God, don’t despair. You are going to be tempted, but remember temptation is not in and of itself sin. Giving in to temptation is sin, but being tempted isn’t. Therefore, when you feel tempted to seek worldly recognition, approval, and validation, do these three things: 1) pray for God’s help, 2) seek guidance in Scripture, and 3) seek the wise counsel of fellow believers.

https://www.raptureforums.com/spiritual-life/compassionate-lying-does-not-honor-god/
 

Andy C

Well-Known Member
Good read. There are times when asked certain questions, I will choose to not answer by answering the question with a question of my own. I can be brutally honest when the situation dicates it, but if my wife asks how she looks in a certain attire, I wont lie, but I may not answer…..the doghouse is not a comfortable place to sleep…:snoopy

Little lies, big lies, a lie of any type is a sin. Thankfully, we’re not saved based on our behaviors, but based on our belief in Him as our One and Only Savior.
 

Jaybird

Well-Known Member
Good read. There are times when asked certain questions, I will choose to not answer by answering the question with a question of my own. I can be brutally honest when the situation dicates it, but if my wife asks how she looks in a certain attire, I wont lie, but I may not answer…..the doghouse is not a comfortable place to sleep…:snoopy

Little lies, big lies, a lie of any type is a sin. Thankfully, we’re not saved based on our behaviors, but based on our belief in Him as our One and Only Savior.
Truly one of life's great mysteries. Why do our wives ask us how they look in an outfit then get mad when we tell them the truth? They asked, did they not?
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
So what do we tell the person who asks if the outfit makes them look fat?:imsorry
You can say, I avoid questions like that and just don't answer them.

You can also ask them why they are asking it? Often it's because they are uncomfortable with it to begin with or believe they are gaining weight and it's noticeable.

You can say if you're looking heavier, let's work out together or start encouraging each other to eat better. If they get upset, the remind them why you don't answer those questions.

Thank God I'm a woman married to a man. Lol
 

Amethyst

Angie ... †
Truly one of life's great mysteries. Why do our wives ask us how they look in an outfit then get mad when we tell them the truth? They asked, did they not?
What a lot of women should learn is that there are clothes that are flattering to our particular figure and those that are not flattering. We don’t all have the same body type so naturally all dresses are not going to look the same on us.
A tip for men would be dont just say no I don t like it, tell her why you prefer another dress bc “it brings out your this or that”. That way she knows you like her body but that particular outfit is not doing it justice
Women ask the question to their man bc they want him to look at her and be attracted.
 

Trawdaddy

Well-Known Member
God hates lying because it’s so destructive. Proverbs 6 lists seven things God hates. There are six things the Lord hates – no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family” (verses 16–19 NLT).
 

athenasius

Well-Known Member
So what do we tell the person who asks if the outfit makes them look fat?:imsorry
The truth, but I add a whole lot of tactful burble to soften the blow.

People who know me generally don't ask questions like that unless they really want the truth. I guess my friends stay my friends and either don't ask or really do want the truth. The rest fall by the wayside.

I try not to be blunt.

If that offends newbies, well, they might as well get used to it.

I have 2 close friends that actually do rely on me to give them the straight goods when we are shopping together. One in particular sends me texts and snapshots from the dressing room. I tell her straight. She does the same for me. The other will go shopping for clothes here in Kamloops when she visits because she can count on my honest opinion. And vice versa.

I never say oh that makes you look fat, I always say it isn't the best I've ever seen you in. I'd give it a pass. Or Nahhh, you deserve better, that one just isn't you.

That way when I say OH I LOVE THAT on you! they know I really mean it.

If people are fat, that is their business and a lot of people are, but some clothes are attractive on them, and some aren't. Just like with everyone else, slim or even bone rack thin. We all have issues. But we all have some clothes that suit us more than others.

I steer clear of weight issues and stick to whether something is or isn't attractive on the body they happen to have right here and now. If they want to lose weight they will. If they don't there's a reason and it's none of my business.
 

athenasius

Well-Known Member
That is a different situation -- your friends want an honest opinion. :nod

There are other times people don't want that at all would look like this if you were honest ..... :eek2
:lol THAT EXPLAINS A LOT hehehehe People DO look at me like that.

Especially when I care to share exactly what I'm thinking or my religious beliefs etc when I'm asked those things.

At my dad's wake/funeral/ash scattering event at his cabin my lesbian aunt's partner (a nice person, well meaning) told me he's in a better place.

Whilst I was puzzling out how to share "Thank you so much, but I don't think so, he is most likely frying in hellfire and distinctly uncomfortable for eternity, but thank you anyway" combined with some type of attempt to get her saved, my aunt WHISKED her away.

My aunt knows me well. I could see her expression and it was :eek2 with a little :yikes

I'm not terribly good in social situations. I always assume when people ask something they want (and deserve) an honest answer. I've been startled at times by the responses.

I've learnt over the years that people sometimes fish for compliments or want sympathy and that's how they approach life, but that took awhile.

I try but ever since I turned 40-- 26 years ago now I decided not to care how people react. I try not to hurt feelings but I don't get the nuances and probably never will.

I have 2 out of 5 grandchildren diagnosed on the autism spectrum, my cousin is flat out autistic, one aunt for sure, our son is Asberger's and last time I took the online test I think I scored an 87% . It runs in the family.

Meanwhile honesty is the best approach. Let the chips fall where they may. Be tactful, be gentle but above all be honest.
 
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