Clutter Control question

athenasius

Well-Known Member
Hugs Kerbluey, God give you strength to git er done.

Yeah the spark joy thing is useful. It's a good way to "see" thru the emotions, the memories, the what I hoped for when I got this thing kind of mental clutter attached to the thing itself.

I was talking to a friend (also a homeschooler) and we came up with the idea that sometimes clutter is like insulation. If you have it, stir it with a stick occasionally, wonder why you can't get rid of it, it might be simply postponed emotional stuff. In her case she divorced about 15 years back, and remarried, but she has memory boxes for her kids. There was some very real physical abuse, and she teared up when we started talking insulation. She has put off dealing with it, insulating till she was emotionally ready to let go of the past, which she is now in the process of doing. But she was beating herself up fro not doing it before now. Till we thought of insulation.

Then we realized she'd been hanging onto it, till she could safely touch the boxes. Not open them, but just touch them enough to offer them to the kids.

Now she can reinsulate her new attic with happy memories going forward and she is free to let go the past by simply passing it on to the kids if they want their memory boxes, and if they don't by dumpsterizing them.

For me the insulation factor is the books. As long as I have my books, I'm insulated from the trauma of forgetting stuff. I can look it up in my books. I'm insulated from the trauma of not being what I wanted to be by now because at any moment I could get that book out and learn how to be an amazing cook. Meanwhile I cook what I like just fine but I was saving my collections for someday. I've been going thru and cooking new recipes from the Taste of Home stuff and quite enjoying it, with an eye to letting go other cookbooks (and a lot went to the Sally Ann on the last couple of runs).

I got rid of a whole bunch of fall decor items that just werent' ringing my bells this year. Felt really good. I can always hit up the thrift stores next year or the dollar store and get similar again if I want, but I want a simpler fall decor, so I've been enjoying a pared down version and so far haven't missed the stuff I tossed.
 

Kerbluey

Well-Known Member
I’m insulated from the trauma of not being what I wanted to be by now because at any moment I could get that book out and learn how to be an amazing cook.
This! I was thinking about my crosstitching patterns last night. Im at the age where it’s a real possibility I may not literally live long enough to do all the ones I want to. But I keep them around because I may one day suddenly uncharacteristically get them done. Like your cooking dream, right?

I sometimes get an inkling that my clutter and back pain are related excuses for not having to do...whatever. And yet there are things I want to do that both also keep me from doing. It’s frustrating.
 

Momma D

Well-Known Member
I am quite organized, and could tell you from the chair I'm sitting in exactly where virtually everything in my house is located. Doesn't mean I need it all...but I know where it is :)
But since my husband died in September, I have had a desire to get rid of things I rarely use. Extra spatulas, CD's I haven't listened to in forever, etc. In reality, I am a minimalist, and becoming more so.
Jim left instructions for our sons to handle all the financial business, pension, insurance and the like...and they have been a huge blessing!
My next step, when I can handle it, is to re-organize the papers that they 'organized.'
I want to give away his suits and several heavy jackets that would never fit any of the boys. Someone mentioned the Salvation Army, that would probably be a good place to start.
This will be a slow process, and nothing goes out the door without the boy's approval.
They know that I am not trying to purge his presence from our home or my life...but attempting to bless others with some of the extra stuff we have and don't need.
It will take prayer and time...please pray this will be done in God's perfect timing.
Thanks for listening...it has been a blessing putting these thoughts to paper :hug
 

Kem

Citizen
dumpsterizing them.
lol I love that word! That is what I do to most "stuff" that hasn't been used in a good while. Minimal is my motto.....well unless it refers to my wardrobe which is my weakness. I will offer as my excuse the fact that growing up my family was pretty close to poverty level and I had almost nothing that was not a hand me down and almost never anything that was actually in style. Anyway I try to be reasonable even about the wardrobe.....well kind of reasonable. lol
 

Cindy S.

When he comes, will he find faith? Luke 18:8
lol I love that word! That is what I do to most "stuff" that hasn't been used in a good while. Minimal is my motto.....well unless it refers to my wardrobe which is my weakness. I will offer as my excuse the fact that growing up my family was pretty close to poverty level and I had almost nothing that was not a hand me down and almost never anything that was actually in style. Anyway I try to be reasonable even about the wardrobe.....well kind of reasonable. lol
My motto is if I haven't used it in a year.... unless it's lamps or furniture lol
 

Momma D

Well-Known Member
lol I love that word! That is what I do to most "stuff" that hasn't been used in a good while. Minimal is my motto.....well unless it refers to my wardrobe which is my weakness. I will offer as my excuse the fact that growing up my family was pretty close to poverty level and I had almost nothing that was not a hand me down and almost never anything that was actually in style. Anyway I try to be reasonable even about the wardrobe.....well kind of reasonable. lol
I have a very small amount of clothes...i'm still wearing clothes from at least 10 years ago...jeans and tee shirts never go out of style :)
I never cared about clothes, being a tomboy. Thankfully, God gave me all those boys :bouncies
 

ShilohRose

Well-Known Member
I think I'm going to have to get serious about the clothes problem. I have clothes I haven't worn in more than 20 years! I keep hoping I'll lose weight. They're classic clothes that don't go out of style, and they're excellent quality. I think I'll give it one more try, and if that doesn't work, I'm going to let them go.

I have donated a lot of books to the library, but there are so many more. . .

We won't talk about my cowgirl boots collection. :D
 

Kerbluey

Well-Known Member
Well, peeps, I’m officially decluttered. Not every square inch, but the majority. I actually know where most things are. I’ll be finishing up my goals tomorrow. I’ve got a drawing class I promised myself when I’m finished, so that’s kept me motivated. I can’t describe how freeing it feels.
 

athenasius

Well-Known Member
Oh that is wonderful Kerbluey! I always feel lighter and freer when I do it. I have my basket in the closet, where I dump the things for the next run to the Salvation Army. It's getting full and when it does, I'm going thru the apartment with some bags, culling more. I'm getting ready for another round.
I think I'm going to have to get serious about the clothes problem. I have clothes I haven't worn in more than 20 years! I keep hoping I'll lose weight. They're classic clothes that don't go out of style, and they're excellent quality. I think I'll give it one more try, and if that doesn't work, I'm going to let them go.

I have donated a lot of books to the library, but there are so many more. . .

We won't talk about my cowgirl boots collection. :D
Collections have other reasons for living on in a space. And they are a lot of fun, more than just whether they are functional, it's beauty and joy. And you are right to enjoy them. I have more eyeshadow than any woman needs in a lifetime, but I really love playing in my paintboxes every morning! Like REALLY REALLY love it.

SR for what it's worth regards things I'm not ready to fully part with but not able to use day to day, I've gotten a lot of good results using an old Don Aslett technique. In the 80''s one of his books described putting things you can't quite part with into a tub or box that you can't see into, taping it shut, putting a date on it and storing it if you have room. A WITHDRAWAL BOX.

Theory is that at some future moment you decide, (he said 6 months, I think for me it's worked out more like 2 or 3 years or the next big move in my own life) you toss it. He said don't look inside. While that has a certain ruthless charm, he is a he and I am not! I am a SHE and one who HAS to double check that I'm not tossing the good stuff away willy nilly so I peek. If we are moving, most of it or all of it goes, but if not, some may form part of another box or Rubbermaid tub in the storage.

The good point about all of that is you get to declutter it out of the closet and your active storage-- shelves and drawers in daily use. But you don't have the pangs of parting with it. Parting is NOT always such a sweet sorrow. Sometimes it keeps you up at night wondering if you kept such and such. If you are prone to that problem like me, you may need to park it in a holding box. And I've learnt it's easier if the tub is see thru. Or I have a list of contents on the top. I'm not a fan of mystery boxes.

It allows withdrawal. Then at the set time, you get rid of it, or keep a few things and start another withdrawal box.

Another mental trick I like is to imagine the joy of someone else using the stuff and even thanking God for it being there in answer to prayer. Just yesterday I had a great example.

Our dd, (the one with 5 including a newborn) phoned me yesterday with a MAJOR answer to prayer that she hadn't prayed yet. But God was looking after her needs.

As most of you know the new baby has some health issues that include both hips in dysplasia, which means a velcro harness that keeps her legs out at a 45 degree angle. The velcro harness is a form of a splint and is worn 24 hours a day for our little one's hips to form properly.

But the velcro was catching and ripping all of dd's lovely hand knit sweaters she makes for her and the baby. She didn't have anything else. Her 2 old sweatshirt fleece jackets (hoodies) were holey, and bleach stained. She needed new.

And yesterday she went to the local thrift store in her village. They "happened" to have 4 nearly new ones, IN HER SIZE, and in colours she loves. Black, Royal blue, Navy and PINK even!!! Plus she picked up something else for daughter #3 for next fall. AND 8$ for the lot. She would have bought 2 from Costco full price next town trip, but she felt to go to the thrift store yesterday morning.

She phoned to share the joy in how God was caring for her needs without even praying. It was like a hug from God.

When you are ready to let go of those classics if that is what happens, I think God will have timed it JUST SO someone who is maybe getting back into the work force who desperately needs something classic will look at it and know God is looking after her.

The thought of someone else being blessed has always made it easier for me to let go when the time is right.
 

Momma D

Well-Known Member
Love you Accepted! But am sorry to hears your numbers are going up again :(
I am having a tough time...I thought things would have begun to improve by now, but reality has seemed to send me downhill as more time passes.
I know God is in control, so it is Him alone that I look to when I am lonely.
I do thank the Lord for my family..they are such an encouragement and joy!

Praying you feel better, and also praying for Kristen and your husband...:hug:hug
 

Accepted

Well-Known Member
Love you Accepted! But am sorry to hears your numbers are going up again :(
I am having a tough time...I thought things would have begun to improve by now, but reality has seemed to send me downhill as more time passes.
I know God is in control, so it is Him alone that I look to when I am lonely.
I do thank the Lord for my family..they are such an encouragement and joy!

Praying you feel better, and also praying for Kristen and your husband...:hug:hug
Dear MommaD, somehow your post got in the wrong thread, but that’s ok because I saw it anyway! Love you and I’m praying for you right now!

Mods, maybe this can be moved to the ‘ovarian cancer’ prayer thread?
 
Top