Christian Suicide

endofdays

Well-Known Member
Here are some reasons why you should not kill yourself (excerpts from my book):
If you commit suicide, you have given up all chance of getting prepared – you have flunked out of the University of Life. You will arrive in Heaven unprepared for eternity.

Besides going against a commandment, besides the fact that you will be murdering a chosen, anointed, child of God made in His image and besides the fact that you will be unprepared for eternity, there are many more reasons why you should not take your own life. Outlined below are a few more Reasons Why You Should Not Kill Yourself:

• Others will be hurt by this action - It brings heartbreak that is very difficult to overcome to those around you and for generations to come. The grief left behind after a suicide is complex. Not only do survivors need to come to terms with the anger they feel, they also need to grieve your loss. Suicide often leaves behind people who are dependant, for example children or elderly parents. Even if you have no one relying on you now, suicide ends all possibility of you being there for loved ones in the future. God says we are to “love our neighbours as ourselves.”
• The legacy is destructive – Broken hearts and lives are left in the wake of suicide.
• It is pride – The person committing suicide is announcing to God that they can see that the future holds nothing good for them. They know better than God and see no hope. It is not the way Jesus said it should be – John 14 “I will come back and take you…”
• It is an expression of your lack of faith - It is a clear indication to God that you do not trust Him to take care of your financial, emotional and physical needs. By taking your life you are saying that you either don’t believe that He is capable of changing circumstances or healing your wounds, or that He does not care enough to do it, or that you don’t trust that the way HE wants to do it (not the way YOU want Him to fix it). With this act, God is completely shut out from being able to work further in your life. By taking your life you are declaring that you no longer believe “all things are possible with Him”
• It shows your unbelief - At some level it is unbelief. At the point you are killing yourself, are you a hundred percent sure that you are about to be face to face with God? I think this reality is seldom in a suicide’s mind. If you imagined God right there with you, explaining that He has plans for you, suicide would no longer be an option. But even if you cannot see Him, He is there with you. He says: “I will never leave nor forsake you.”
• It shows that you place your security in yourself - At the point of wanting to kill yourself you have been looking to yourself, things, or others to find your security. You have found them wanting e.g. you are embarrassed beyond endurance for what you have done or you cannot contemplate living without the life style you and your dependants had become used to, or you cannot fathom living without that loved one in your life. All these indicate that your security has been in something or someone other than God. The Bible says: “Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him.”
• It infringes on His Grace – If you commit suicide knowing that it is a sin, you are ‘taking advantage’ of the fact that you are forgiven. The Bible teaches that ‘where sin abounds, Grace abounds more.’ Basically, you can never out-sin God’s Grace, which covers all. However, a person should never presume upon this Grace and sin knowingly. Any abuse of the Grace of God has dire consequences, and in the case of suicide, those consequences are eternal.
• All potential for good deeds is over - It is putting an end to the work that God is doing in you to help you to live more abundantly so that you will be able to achieve the purpose that He has in mind for you to do: “I know the plans I have for you…”
• It denies the work of the cross: Ultimately, the most important reason why you should not take your own life is that Jesus died on the cross for you. He says: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
• All chance of telling other about Jesus is over – Paul wrote: “If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labour for me.”
• It is throwing the gift of life back at God – He created the world for us to enjoy and through suicide you are refusing that gift. “For it is by grace you have been saved…it is the gift of God.”
• It is an expression of self-hatred – Killing yourself is the ultimate expression of hate towards yourself. If the Creator of the Universe loves you, why would you hate yourself? God loves you: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son.”
• It usurps the power that belongs only to God – “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.”
• Your body belongs to God – It is His property because He made it, He paid for it and He lives in it: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit…you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your body.” We were bought with a price when Christ’s death freed us from sin. We also do not have the right to do whatever we wish with our bodies because the Holy Spirit lives within us.
• It is a bad witness to non-believers – Non-believers look to us as an example of what it would be like if they came to know Christ as their Saviour. Suicide sends the wrong message and could cause non-believers to find an excuse not to come to know Jesus in their lives.
Maybe, after all these reasons, you are still crying out: “But you don’t understand how hard my situation is!” No matter how much pain you are in, no matter how trapped, no matter how gripped you are by an addiction or habit, no matter how uncontrollable your thoughts, no matter how much debt you are in or how little money you have, no matter how ridiculed, perused or persecuted you are and no matter what you are facing – God has the same question for you today, as he had for Abraham: “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”
 

usoutpost31

Well-Known Member
Coping with depression is a difficult problem. Thinking no one will miss you when you're gone is.a terribly bleak place to be. I've been there myself, down to writing out my suicide note. Other people aren't always a comfort either. One time I opened up about my struggles with depression, saying it had been going on for over a decade. I actually had someone ask me "Why don't you just kill yourself already?"

If I were to give a reason why someone should go on, it's that the black cloud doesn't last forever. The inner voices go away. External problems can be overcome. There are bigger and better things down the road for those who persevere. The big picture concept can be hard to sell to someone who can't see past their current predicament but it's true. Today I can say depression no longer rules my life. I went through the dark valleys and came out the other side, and am certainly glad I did.

It gets better. I'm just sorry many people never get to discover that for themselves.
 

moosejive

Well-Known Member
Coping with depression is a difficult problem. Thinking no one will miss you when you're gone is.a terribly bleak place to be. I've been there myself, down to writing out my suicide note. Other people aren't always a comfort either. One time I opened up about my struggles with depression, saying it had been going on for over a decade. I actually had someone ask me "Why don't you just kill yourself already?"

If I were to give a reason why someone should go on, it's that the black cloud doesn't last forever. The inner voices go away. External problems can be overcome. There are bigger and better things down the road for those who persevere. The big picture concept can be hard to sell to someone who can't see past their current predicament but it's true. Today I can say depression no longer rules my life. I went through the dark valleys and came out the other side, and am certainly glad I did.

It gets better. I'm just sorry many people never get to discover that for themselves.
Thank you for a place to start with my grandson because he is going through a difficult time right now. I’ve just learned he has expressed feeling suicidal to a counselor. I’ve spoken with him before about coming to talk to someone about his depression and have not really known how to approach it.

The italicized part of your post helps me to start a conversation with him. :hug
 
Thank you for a place to start with my grandson because he is going through a difficult time right now. I’ve just learned he has expressed feeling suicidal to a counselor. I’ve spoken with him before about coming to talk to someone about his depression and have not really known how to approach it.

The italicized part of your post helps me to start a conversation with him. :hug
:hug
 

moosejive

Well-Known Member
It’s so difficult to understand the level of hopelessness a person must be feeling to view suicide as the only way to solve a problem. I think it is hard for someone who has not experienced that state of feeling to communicate very effectively with the person feeling suicidal.

I knew a woman residency doctor who seemed to have it all. She was a smart, beautiful, kind and empathetic person. She was someone enjoyable to work with and I never knew that she was experiencing such dark emotions. It was never physically apparent, except that she was very slender. I just thought she was a lucky person who didn’t have to worry about what she ate.

She graduated and went to work in Eau Claire, WI as a family doctor. I found out a few years later that she had committed suicide and was saddened and shocked. What inner demons had she been fighting that weren’t obvious to those around her? She was someone who appeared to have it all together, but she must have been a very good actress. Because it had fooled quite a few people who had worked with her.

What are the best things to say or do when suspecting someone you care about is struggling? Is it even possible to help someone who has turned to thoughts of ending their life...:frown2:cry
 

ByGod'sGrace

Well-Known Member
I have experienced the trauma of losing loved ones to suicide and also attempting it myself at a young age. The feeling is indescribable of feeling so completely alone and like there is nothing worth living for....and that you have no worth or value. The only thing that saved me personally was God, and hanging on to the fact the He loved me and thought I had value. I wish more Christians could be compassionate about this issue. It is very difficult to talk about it with people, as there is such a stigma. But the pain of living in this world is intense for some people. Hopefully that isn't TMI, just I know there are a lot of tears Jesus has held for me in my life I've shed over pain, as He holds for us all. Maybe God bless and give peace to everyone dealing with sorrow that feels like it will swallow you whole forever. I also think that those who have felt the most hopeless also can minister the most to others struggling in this area. I feel that because of my history, God has made me more sensitive to noticing and sensing others in pain and praying for them and loving them with words and encouraging them. I feel that my purpose in life is to be a cheerleader to others who are barely hanging on.
 

Kerbluey

Well-Known Member
Most people don’t want to die, they want the pain to stop. I’ve struggled with depression as far back as I can remember. I was very, very young the first time (of several times) I tried to kill myself. I shouldn’t have survived a couple of times, and I should be brain-damaged. I never wanted to die. I wanted the pain to end. When you’ve been hurting inside for years, or decades, and you see no end in sight death is awfully tempting as a way to finally get some relief. You simply cannot carry the pain any longer.

One of the best things I ever did was get in therapy and get on meds. I feel such compassion towards anyone who commits suicide, that their pain was, for them, insurmountable. I’m so thankful I was able to get help.
 
Most people don’t want to die, they want the pain to stop. I’ve struggled with depression as far back as I can remember. I was very, very young the first time (of several times) I tried to kill myself. I shouldn’t have survived a couple of times, and I should be brain-damaged. I never wanted to die. I wanted the pain to end. When you’ve been hurting inside for years, or decades, and you see no end in sight death is awfully tempting as a way to finally get some relief. You simply cannot carry the pain any longer.

One of the best things I ever did was get in therapy and get on meds. I feel such compassion towards anyone who commits suicide, that their pain was, for them, insurmountable. I’m so thankful I was able to get help.
I'm glad you are here. :hug
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
Yes, me too. :nod

In becoming aware of this with a few people in my life I've certainly been more prayerful for those suffering with this. :pray ing for those struggling with this or for those in your lives who are struggling for God's loving grace, the right words and the right people to come along side and be of encouragement and comfort. :hug :hug

:pray
 

Dave

Well-Known Member
I heard it said before that alot of God's people perish because of lack of knowledge. I don't know if it's in the Bible. I may have skipped over it or not seen it. I read a great deal of the New Testament. I remember hearing that on a show somewhere. I know that to be very true in my own life. I got baptized when I was a young child then went through the pressures of growing up and not fitting in. I was a huge loner in High School and remember getting called all kinds of names and stuff. Nothing went my way. I got made to feel stupid so many times that I ended up feeling that way.

Despite it all I always remained hopeful that things will get better. When I graduated High School and in my early adult life, it seemed like life just got tougher. I allowed alot of negative feelings to enter into my head and got into a habit of feeling sorry for myself. I really did not get into the Bible at that age. I got so worn down that I started to have sleep paralysis and night terrors. I felt like I was going crazy. Suicide never entered my mind because I believed you would go to Hell for committing it at that early age. I do not believe that anymore.

Even though I was unpopular and always got put down all the time, I learned that people do watch you to see what you are going to do. I don't judge people that have committed suicide. I know its a pretty tough struggle. My thoughts is that if you go through with it then you are opening doors for others in your life to consider it.

Just posting my thoughts.....
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
My thoughts is that if you go through with it then you are opening doors for others in your life to consider it.
Yes, I think you are exactly right! A very perceptive and wise observation Dave. :sad

When the head singer for the band Nirvana committed suicide (although that is contested in some circles) a troubling large number of young people followed suit, they felt so connected with and I imagine grieved for the lead singer.

In groups of teenagers if one takes that step the statistics are higher that some in that group or their family will follow suit.

As was said up post, people erroneously think they won't be missed. So not true.

There are some people I know who had considered, because they were struggling and in a really tough place mentally, that I'm so incredibly thankful they did not! Oh, how they would have been deeply missed!
 

ItIsFinished!

Well-Known Member
I heard it said before that alot of God's people perish because of lack of knowledge. I don't know if it's in the Bible. I may have skipped over it or not seen it. I read a great deal of the New Testament. I remember hearing that on a show somewhere. I know that to be very true in my own life. I got baptized when I was a young child then went through the pressures of growing up and not fitting in. I was a huge loner in High School and remember getting called all kinds of names and stuff. Nothing went my way. I got made to feel stupid so many times that I ended up feeling that way.

Despite it all I always remained hopeful that things will get better. When I graduated High School and in my early adult life, it seemed like life just got tougher. I allowed alot of negative feelings to enter into my head and got into a habit of feeling sorry for myself. I really did not get into the Bible at that age. I got so worn down that I started to have sleep paralysis and night terrors. I felt like I was going crazy. Suicide never entered my mind because I believed you would go to Hell for committing it at that early age. I do not believe that anymore.

Even though I was unpopular and always got put down all the time, I learned that people do watch you to see what you are going to do. I don't judge people that have committed suicide. I know its a pretty tough struggle. My thoughts is that if you go through with it then you are opening doors for others in your life to consider it.

Just posting my thoughts.....
Hosea 4:6 is the verse (at least one of) to add to your first statement in your post.

Dave, thank you for sharing your past .
I know you know that you are amongst family here.
I hope all is well my friend.
Have a good evening.

In His name.
 

yrrek

Well-Known Member
When a person is in that hole the facts listed don’t really help. Because the pain is so heavy that you get to a point where you don’t care. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t get it. At the point of wanting to die, you just want all the pain to end. You believe everyone is better off without you (even though that’s a lie from Satan). It has been so strong that it has given me physical health issues. Only God can pull someone through. Telling someone their faith is weak or what not just makes them feel worse about themselves. It makes it seem that it’s up to us when in reality it’s a fight against our minds that God has to fight for us. If only we could get out of his way. Once I Learned that Faith and joy are gifts from God that we only have to ask for it has made a major difference. What gets me through those times the most is a question the lord had put into my head during a time of weakness “I loved you enough to die... Do you love me enough to live?”
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
When a person is in that hole the facts listed don’t really help. Because the pain is so heavy that you get to a point where you don’t care. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t get it. At the point of wanting to die, you just want all the pain to end. You believe everyone is better off without you (even though that’s a lie from Satan). It has been so strong that it has given me physical health issues. Only God can pull someone through. Telling someone their faith is weak or what not just makes them feel worse about themselves. It makes it seem that it’s up to us when in reality it’s a fight against our minds that God has to fight for us. If only we could get out of his way. Once I Learned that Faith and joy are gifts from God that we only have to ask for it has made a major difference. What gets me through those times the most is a question the lord had put into my head during a time of weakness “I loved you enough to die... Do you love me enough to live?”
Thank you for sharing yrrek, I suspect yours and others posts on this will be very helpful to someone. :)

Your comment on telling someone their faith is weak reminds me of the blind man that Jesus healed:

As He [Jesus] was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth. His disciples questioned Him: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” Jesus answered. “This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him."

John 9:1-3

“I loved you enough to die... Do you love me enough to live?”
I love this!!!
 

RestInHim

Well-Known Member
I've dealt with thoughts of suicide, but, in the years that I have I can say that the thoughts of suicide we're not always the same. Not until I took medication did I ever have any thoughts of suicide and then when I came off of them I had "suicidal ideation" that was so bad because it was chemically induced! This lasted for almost 3 years until it was not to the same intensity and from that time forward till now, it is still with me due to the neurological damage but, it is not at all the intensity of what it used to be. Back then I was in survival mode with other drug induced symptoms like akathisia, psychosis and others, now it is not something I am overly thinking about, but, when symptoms in general are bad, pain is high or other "stressful" situations arise then I think of wanting to die just because I am tired.

I never wanted to die, I only wanted the suffering to stop. What made/makes matters worse is being so very ill and not having others around to help and or to show compassion. One can look good, o.k. but be suffering inside.

Today I am struggling horribly, it's been almost 20 years and when someone is sick for this long people just seem to be fed up and don't want to deal with it. I caught a virus last week and have been pretty much struggling to even get off the couch, although I do manage to do some things but I need help. As much as I'm sick, my relationship with DH is very difficult! No matter how much I ask for him to help by talking with me so that we can have things go better, it doesn't happen. Because of how sick I am I have just been a burden to him all these years, there is no intimacy and I am expected to just keep doing and being a wife the way I am expected to be. I really don't know how to deal with it anymore, but, I just keep doing it, I just don't know what to say to him anymore it always turns into an argument! I just can't keep up being a "normal" healthy wife when I'm not.

Then I fall into a state of deep depression and hate who I am and know that getting angry and saying things that are inappropriate are wrong and sinful and I just hate to continue on like this and that is when the thoughts of not wanting to live come back, but, as I said, they are not severe like it was 15 years ago. Now, I am just tired and don't know how to go on and I just don't want to be in this marriage anymore as I am not being the "child" of God that I should be and it is the same old same old.

I have known too many people over the years who have taken their lives because they we're suffering so so much, for years on end and it wouldn't stop. The last time it happened it was with a sister in Christ and it really was so so hard! I truly believe that those who think of suicide and do take their lives don't want to die, they just want the suffering to end. That suffering can be mental/psychological/emotional and physical. Yes, it is wrong, yes it hurts others, it is selfish, but it is also selfish to not care for someone who needs love and care and compassion during these times. I've also known people who did care for their loved one's when they we're suffering and I remember this one man who's wife quite her job for 2 years to be with her husband. I've known people who's lives we're completely torn apart, lost jobs, marriage and families torn apart.

God is what has kept me this far, yet, as I'm sharing this now, DH and I had another argument and I want all that to stop, it's been 30 years in a difficult marriage and almost 20 of them with me being very sick. Our 2 oldest children want nothing to do with us, we don't see our 4 grandchildren and it's all because of me. I know He loves me, I am keeping the faith and I am going to continue taking Him at His Word!

I'm scared of what the future holds as I'm getting older and as my health gets worse. I often think it would be better to be alone, but, I just keep praying and hoping that things will change.
 

Everlasting Life

Through Faith in Jesus
I caught a virus last week and have been pretty much struggling to even get off the couch, although I do manage to do some things but I need help.
I'm so sorry RestInHim, that you are dealing with a virus this week. :hug


One can look good, o.k. but be suffering inside.
Yes, that's what's so hard about some of the health challenges out there. They are challenges effecting inside but the outside of the body does not reflect the degree that one is struggling inside, like one who may have a paralyzed or missing arm, etc. I certainly cannot say that I fully understand (at least to the degree of what you've gone through....and man, that's really tough!!!), but, when we were living in a place that had mold issues I was so very sick all the time and mentally foggy headed. But, looked just fine on the outside. I sometimes considered wearing a sick hat to show on the outside how sick I felt on the inside. Yet, I went through the motions of being the wife/mom the best I could. Now, that stemmed from my own pressure in that I wanted that for my family (I know that's what your desire is too).

I certainly can identify with the hopelessness a person can feel in just never feeling good or well. And then that sure would be compounded by having those around just not understanding or even not really caring about it. It can be so isolating, helpless and hopeless. :sad


I really don't know how to deal with it anymore, but, I just keep doing it, I just don't know what to say to him anymore it always turns into an argument! I just can't keep up being a "normal" healthy wife when I'm not.
:hug :hug Realizing and coming to terms with our own limitations health wise is difficult enough, to be expected to live as if one didn't have health issues, particularly without support certainly adds another layer of disappointment, grief and frustration. Dear RestInHim, God understand very much the situation you are in. Try not to be overly hard on yourself, but take these regrets that you've not responded well with your family to God (I'm sure you do) and trust that you are forgiven and that the situation you are in is certainly taken into account. He understands how weak we are at times. :hug

Now, I am just tired and don't know how to go on......
Oh, RestInHim, :pray I can see and understand the round and around frustration you are having here and the battle of this on top of the health issues. I think your answers below are good ideas.

God is what has kept me this far
I just keep praying and hoping that things will change.
:pray



I just can't keep up being a "normal" healthy wife when I'm not.
And, that's the thing. There comes a time when one has to realize their limitations and take care of themselves as they need to. It doesn't mean you're a bad wife, mom or friend or neighbor, etc. It just means that there are things you can and cannot do and it's as simple as that. It's unfortunate that there is so much backlash in your home with this, I'm so, so sorry. :hug

Before I share this, know that in my case my husband is a kind and good man, but even so, it was very difficult for him to understand how much I was struggling and just couldn't do the things even I wanted to do. Same with our kiddos. At some point I just resigned myself that I had to just take care of myself lest I wasn't around to even be there for my family. There was one year that I felt that I was probably not going to live much longer, things were that serious. I don't know if my family really understand how serious things were. But that's ok, God knows and He's faithful and provided day by day. He still does.

So, I figured out what my own boundaries were and had to stick with it. And if others were upset I just had to let that be their problem as I didn't even have the energy to respond (again, in my case there was care and concern but as you said, not looking ill outside whereas on the inside Star Wars was happening was challenging for my family to reconcile). Like you, I took things to God and just prayed every day for His strength and help to get though each day. And I just asked God to take care of whatever my family needed to do to understand. By God's grace my family has been able to comprehend what's been going on with me and while they may not understand the full extent of my illnesses they do work with me. RestInHim, I'm sure :pray ing for this for you!! :hug

In the meantime, like you, I was on RaptureReady, RaptureForums, in God's Word just soaking up so much and growing in the Lord. In fact, if it weren't for the illness I struggled with and to a certain extent still do, I don't think I would have grown in Christ as much as I have.



I have known too many people over the years who have taken their lives because they we're suffering so so much, for years on end and it wouldn't stop. The last time it happened it was with a sister in Christ and it really was so so hard!
Oh man, RestInHim, that is just so very tough, tough for them and tough for you. I'm so sorry for these things in your life. :hug The fact that you are here with us on R.F. is such a testament to God and His work in your life and gives Him glory RestInHim. :nod

I'm glad that you are here with us. I think that it's good for you to have not only those who can identify with you a bit in your struggles, but to receive spiritual support and positive things to think about in your life. :hug

I'm scared of what the future holds as I'm getting older and as my health gets worse.

I know, I can imagine that's how you would feel and as a woman, well we do like security. But, if I may most gently say, don't be afraid. I know you know this, but it's nice to 'hear' someone else say this......God is faithful and just as He's here now helping you, He's in the future, ready to help you. One day at a time my dear friend....and we are here with you. :hug

Dear Lord, I lift RestInHim and those like her who are suffering in this manner that you would continue to bring strength, hope and your spirit of joy to her each and every day. Would you strengthen her mightily and help her to be able to work within the bounds of what her body can handle? I pray that you would pour out your grace and mercy upon her and give her a little peek in what you are doing in her life, her husband's life and her children's lives, that she would be able to see that you are working and be encouraged. I ask Lord God that RestInHim's husband and family would be at least attempting to understand and help her. Would you convict their hearts on this Lord? In the meantime would you send her the help that she needs as she brings her daily needs to you, asking for help for whatever chores need done, etc. And Lord, would you help the RF community to come along side her and allow you to touch her heart through us?

In Jesus name, Amen.

:pray


:hug
 
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