Children & Church Service

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
Aww Cheeky it's understandable that you are homesick for your church family. They became family. You miss them. There's no place like home as Dorothy said in WofOz.

Your new church family will be different (whether they're this group or another) and they will become home.

But in the meanwhile it's especially hard because you are in between church homes. One you loved and said goodbye to, the other is in the future. Your grieving a loss too. Give yourself time and grace for that period of grief. And time to process the fact that churches like the people that make them up are different, they each have irreplaceable characteristics that make them lovable and unique. Quirks and failings too. Just like the humans they are made up of.

HUGS
I spoke to the Pastor and his wife. They were both upset that any of the members gave us a hard time. The Pastor shared how he would actually prefer for the children to stay in the sanctuary and that if anybody has problems they can speak to him. He did share that he noticed that most of the people that had sat in the back row with us were new and knows there are many people out there visiting who are miserable or want things a certain way.

It was really encouraging to hear and it was fun talking about all the ideas they have for helping families feel welcomed. I can't wait to tell Mike about it and the other mom I connected to. I'm grateful the Lord helped me in my delivery of the message.

Thank you for the thoughtful responses. Everyone who responded was helpful. I do also think Satan may have wanted to manipulate my emotions to just walk away. Speaking to her more one on one was also comforting. It's clear she has a lot of wisdom from her own battles in life. I'm praying the Lord would lead me to mature women that could mentor me.
 

Andy C

Well-Known Member
I spoke to the Pastor and his wife. They were both upset that any of the members gave us a hard time. The Pastor shared how he would actually prefer for the children to stay in the sanctuary and that if anybody has problems they can speak to him. He did share that he noticed that most of the people that had sat in the back row with us were new and knows there are many people out there visiting who are miserable or want things a certain way.

It was really encouraging to hear and it was fun talking about all the ideas they have for helping families feel welcomed. I can't wait to tell Mike about it and the other mom I connected to. I'm grateful the Lord helped me in my delivery of the message.

Thank you for the thoughtful responses. Everyone who responded was helpful. I do also think Satan may have wanted to manipulate my emotions to just walk away. Speaking to her more one on one was also comforting. It's clear she has a lot of wisdom from her own battles in life. I'm praying the Lord would lead me to mature women that could mentor me.
Glad it all worked out for everyone!
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
If this is the worst problem at this church, it is blessed. Sounds like Satan at work causing duvision in hearts and minds. Churches are all different but I would be asking myself why the devil is getting you worked up over this? Maybe he doesn't want you there? :shrug
You were right, it was Satan trying to keep me away. God has confirmed to me over and over that is where he wants me.
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
I just saw this, came back on briefly, it's bedtime in 5 minutes.

Cheeky your primary duty before the Lord is the godly raising up of your children and leading your husband to the Lord.

All else is secondary. You aren't responsible to fix this church. God is in charge of that.

If God leads you to explain why they might have a problem attracting and retaining families, especially ones like this young unsaved mum, then that is a wonderful benefit of you going there however briefly.

Your primary duty requires you to find a church that your son and you and eventually your husband can grow and serve and be a part in. If this one is it, God will continue to show you-- even as He directs you to give constructive criticism.

How they receive it (providing you are gracious and kind) is up to God, as is their growth and change.

You may have been there to connect with that young mother seeking God. Sent for a moment, and a person.

Don't take on more responsibility for their choices or the way they do church. That's between them and God. You can help by giving a gracious word in season (after you've cooled off a bit). If they listen and change, you can stay. Or not.

Either way God is in charge of them and you. They have to answer to Him, for their responsibilities, you answer to God for yours.

The way I see it, you might need to be looking elsewhere for a church with more flexibility dealing with younger families.

It's ok if they aren't a perfect fit, they are probably fitting the ones they are called to serve.

Or perhaps they need to change and God sent you to gently and humbly point that out.

I remember trying to find a church in each community we moved to with the little ones. Not easy. God will guide you. The first one you try may not be right, nor the first five. Keep looking.

And keep up with that young mum. Sometimes you are sent to the mission field, sometimes the mission field comes to you. I think your mission field might be her and your own family for now.
The mom and also her ex boyfriend both got saved yesterday!!!! She said she felt so comfortable with me and was glad I was there last Sunday. I see now that it was all a blessing how those individuals got upset with her son making noise. There weren't members and Satan was trying to manipulate my anger to leave. I stayed and shared my testimony with her in the nursery. I'm so humbled that God would use me to be one of a long stirng of people praying or her and sharing Jesus with her.

I'm thankful someone told me that Satan was probably using my emotions and the situation to get me riled up and me keep me away. Hallelujah!!!
 

Matthew6:33

Withstand in the evil day. Eph 6:13
You were right, it was Satan trying to keep me away. God has confirmed to me over and over that is where he wants me.
Heavy resistance and heightened emotionalism usually means the devil and his minions are at work and don't like what you are doing. They are on defense!

The devil does this to me all the time too, thats why I try to watch out for it. Unfortunately I usually take the bait because I am a dumb sheep.

Glad you were able to get through it and see the blessings God had for you.
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
Heavy resistance and heightened emotionalism usually means the devil and his minions are at work and don't like what you are doing. They are on defense!

The devil does this to me all the time too, thats why I try to watch out for it. Unfortunately I usually take the bait because I am a dumb sheep.

Glad you were able to get through it and see the blessings God had for you.
Thank you so much for telling me what I needed to hear! It was difficult at first because my pride got in the way, but God kept bringing that comment to my mind. I am so grateful that the Lord had mercy on me and still used me to share my testimony with that mother and to pray for her and her ex, who are both now saved! They had the entire church praying and sharing the Gospel with them.

Hallelujah!!
 

ChildofLight

Well-Known Member
The mom and also her ex boyfriend both got saved yesterday!!!! She said she felt so comfortable with me and was glad I was there last Sunday. I see now that it was all a blessing how those individuals got upset with her son making noise. There weren't members and Satan was trying to manipulate my anger to leave. I stayed and shared my testimony with her in the nursery. I'm so humbled that God would use me to be one of a long stirng of people praying or her and sharing Jesus with her.

I'm thankful someone told me that Satan was probably using my emotions and the situation to get me riled up and me keep me away. Hallelujah!!!
It sounds like perhaps God is using you to mentor her.
 

Umbrella Girl

Now we see through a glass, darkly; (1 Cor 13:12)
In my former church, if there was a family that kept their small child in the sanctuary during the sermon, and the child continually made noise, the pastor would stop, pause and say, uh ma'am would you mind taking your baby out to the foyer?. I'm sure they were pretty embarrassed.
I think it’s wrong for the pastor to single out the noisy children. However, I also think it’s very inconsiderate for parents to keep continually disruptive children in the sanctuary during the sermon.

As for pastors who “like” the sound of disruptive children, they also need to consider how distracting they are for others who are trying to listen to the sermon.

I’m only talking about the actual sermon. Certainly not the music portion, or even announcements.
 

Andy C

Well-Known Member
During the sermon, if parents are unwilling to put their child in the nursery, then they should at least take the child out to the lobby until they settle down, if they become disruptive. To not do so is very inconsiderate of others.
Concur. I do like seeing children in church, but when the sermon starts, and they become a distraction, time for the parent and child to step out and try and rectify the situation. If they were my kids, and they became a distraction, I would not want my inaction to fix the situation lead to someone inside a church for the first time, missing a possible crucial part of the sermon. A good church with a solid pastor is hard to find, but when there is one, the words spoken by him need to be digested by all. This is not a movie folks are attending, but the Word of God being preached, and needs to be heard.

I had the privilege of taking my first born granddaughter to church for her first time when she was just 2 months old. Her mom and my wife all went together to a little church in Everett WA. A few minutes after the sermon started, she became fussy, and I took her and her stroller out into the lobby, and kept her there with me for the entire sermon. My daughter wanted to take her out, but I felt it was more important for my daughter to hear the Word, than for me, since she seldom attends.

Having said the above, in all the different churches I have attended, I have yet to see any parent remain inside a sermon when their little one gets fussy or makes loud noises.
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
I think it’s wrong for the pastor to single out the noisy children. However, I also think it’s very inconsiderate for parents to keep continually disruptive children in the sanctuary during the sermon.

As for pastors who “like” the sound of disruptive children, they also need to consider how distracting they are for others who are trying to listen to the sermon.

I’m only talking about the actual sermon. Certainly not the music portion, or even announcements.
Yeah, I'm talking about the music portion and announcements.
 

cheeky200386

Well-Known Member
During the sermon, if parents are unwilling to put their child in the nursery, then they should at least take the child out to the lobby until they settle down, if they become disruptive. To not do so is very inconsiderate of others.
I'm talking about the music and announcements portion.
 
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