Childless Adults.......cursed ?

Ducati

Well-Known Member
My wife and I have been married 19 years and we never had children. Both never had kids or past marriages. I had been single most of my 20's and well into my 30's simply because I didn't want to date someone with kids OR ex-husbands - every date was a possible mate so I was very particular.
Before getting married we both had a mutual decision agreement (both for personal reasons) that we were not going to have children. Not that we dislike kids or anything...just decided not to. I was born and raised in an AofG Church my whole life, born again at 9 years old, very familiar with all the Scriptures talking about children being a blessing from the Lord.
Now that my wife and I are in our mid 50's we have often wondered has our marriage been "not blessed" or even cursed (in a manner of speaking) because we chose not to have children ? With hindsight being 20/20 we actually learned some years later that she couldn't have had children even if she wanted to due to severe endometrioses - which actually forced her to have a hysterectomy 10 years ago.
So all that being said, we have still wondered. :noidea2

:snoopy
 

athenasius

Well-Known Member
My wife and I have been married 19 years and we never had children. Both never had kids or past marriages. I had been single most of my 20's and well into my 30's simply because I didn't want to date someone with kids OR ex-husbands - every date was a possible mate so I was very particular.
Before getting married we both had a mutual decision agreement (both for personal reasons) that we were not going to have children. Not that we dislike kids or anything...just decided not to. I was born and raised in an AofG Church my whole life, born again at 9 years old, very familiar with all the Scriptures talking about children being a blessing from the Lord.
Now that my wife and I are in our mid 50's we have often wondered has our marriage been "not blessed" or even cursed (in a manner of speaking) because we chose not to have children ? With hindsight being 20/20 we actually learned some years later that she couldn't have had children even if she wanted to due to severe endometrioses - which actually forced her to have a hysterectomy 10 years ago.
So all that being said, we have still wondered. :noidea2

:snoopy
Ducati, I'm not supposed to be in the gentleman's zone, but my quick answer is NO you are NOT Cursed at all. And I love children, mine, grandkids and so forth.

But

Just as God gives some to remain unmarried and serve Him with single focus, I think both of you were given a desire to not have children, and that was confirmed by finding out that you would have been unable.

I'd say God actually confirmed the fact that your desire and your wife's desire was to remain childless.

Be at rest in that. Not everyone is given to marriage, God has separated some to serve Him in the single state. Not every couple is able to have children, and God has that calling too.

Our daughter and son in law have 5 little girls, our granddaughters.

But our son and daughter in law have tried and tried for 12 or 13 years, and have recently come to the realization that parenting is not something God planned for them. They've miscarried many times so their children are in heaven. My dil and son grieve over those losses but they accept God's will.

But we were just over there for dinner, and Jessie was telling me of several ladies she has been ministering to, and this isnt' the first time. There's other things too that I see where they are blooming where God planted them.

I do think it's very hard on childless couples to see the Mother's Day or Father's Day services in church, to hear the emphasis on building a family by having children.

But they've built a family of the lonely, hurting ones around them, and they minister to them.

It's not always an easy call.

But it seems that the Lord blessed you and her with the lack of desire for something He didn't plan for you to have. Be at rest in His perfect will.
 

Spartan Sprinter 1

Formerly known as Shaun
This is just my perspective on things as i'm a single guy in his late 30s without kids.

Although the bible does say that it's a blessing to have children, i've made the decision not to have them purely on the basis on the evil and corruption in this world that they would be constantly exposed to.

I don't want my children if i ever had them to go through that
 

Spartan Sprinter 1

Formerly known as Shaun
Ducati, I'm not supposed to be in the gentleman's zone, but my quick answer is NO you are NOT Cursed at all. And I love children, mine, grandkids and so forth.

But

Just as God gives some to remain unmarried and serve Him with single focus, I think both of you were given a desire to not have children, and that was confirmed by finding out that you would have been unable.

I'd say God actually confirmed the fact that your desire and your wife's desire was to remain childless.

Be at rest in that. Not everyone is given to marriage, God has separated some to serve Him in the single state. Not every couple is able to have children, and God has that calling too.

Our daughter and son in law have 5 little girls, our granddaughters.

But our son and daughter in law have tried and tried for 12 or 13 years, and have recently come to the realization that parenting is not something God planned for them. They've miscarried many times so their children are in heaven. My dil and son grieve over those losses but they accept God's will.

But we were just over there for dinner, and Jessie was telling me of several ladies she has been ministering to, and this isnt' the first time. There's other things too that I see where they are blooming where God planted them.

I do think it's very hard on childless couples to see the Mother's Day or Father's Day services in church, to hear the emphasis on building a family by having children.

But they've built a family of the lonely, hurting ones around them, and they minister to them.

It's not always an easy call.

But it seems that the Lord blessed you and her with the lack of desire for something He didn't plan for you to have. Be at rest in His perfect will.
You Lurker you LOL
 

sawas

Well-Known Member
This is just my perspective on things as i'm a single guy in his late 30s without kids.

Although the bible does say that it's a blessing to have children, i've made the decision not to have them purely on the basis on the evil and corruption in this world that they would be constantly exposed to.

I don't want my children if i ever had them to go through that
This resonates with me personally. I do think those of us who - often for a multitude of reasons - have not had children miss out on the lessons made available to fathers and mothers. But, that said, we are all presented with individual challenges and blessings. Some of us travel different paths for different reasons. For me, the challenges you cite would be heartbreaking indeed.
 

Wings Like Eagles

Well-Known Member
My wife and I have been married 19 years and we never had children. Both never had kids or past marriages. I had been single most of my 20's and well into my 30's simply because I didn't want to date someone with kids OR ex-husbands - every date was a possible mate so I was very particular.
Before getting married we both had a mutual decision agreement (both for personal reasons) that we were not going to have children. Not that we dislike kids or anything...just decided not to. I was born and raised in an AofG Church my whole life, born again at 9 years old, very familiar with all the Scriptures talking about children being a blessing from the Lord.
Now that my wife and I are in our mid 50's we have often wondered has our marriage been "not blessed" or even cursed (in a manner of speaking) because we chose not to have children ? With hindsight being 20/20 we actually learned some years later that she couldn't have had children even if she wanted to due to severe endometrioses - which actually forced her to have a hysterectomy 10 years ago.
So all that being said, we have still wondered. :noidea2

:snoopy
From what I have read in Scripture, it wouldn't be that you are "cursed" so much as missing out on a blessing (and children are definitely a blessing, if they belong to Him, as well as to the parents). But, there are a lot of blessings that Christians can miss out on--Christians in Third World countries miss out on having the blessings of peace and prosperity. When peace and prosperity is lost (as appears today, to be becoming the case in the Western nations) Christians sorely miss that blessing. But, the far-and-away greatest blessing is to know and love our Saviour. All other blessings pale in comparison. Amen?
 

Misty S

Well-Known Member
My husband never wanted to be married. The thought repulsed him. He never wanted kids, either. Said he did not want to bring souls into terror and he owned straight up that he did not want the responsibility. Long story short and while these kids of ours are not his blood, they are his. He said his life would be of decreased value without them and he is very close to them and they are to him. He still does not want kids of his own and me at 38, we will let that rest. He said the Lord blessed him with mine.

No, I do not think you are cursed. That is quite heavy for those who cannot, chose not, or have not had kids. I definitely do not think it is a curse nor do I believe it to be necessary for effectiveness in the Body. That is the Gospel's job.
 

JSTyler

Well-Known Member
Not all of us are blessed with the spiritual, mental and emotional "equipment" to have kids or our own. I don't decry that personally until I have chores I'm not interested in doing. It's then that I see some value in having offspring of my own. Albeit, if they were mine, they'd sadly and likely be as I was and would be lost out in the great wilds somewhere getting into trouble.

There are ways to be blessed with children that don't require the express the creation of them (though old as I'm getting, I have to admit that going through the motions ((within the bounds of marriage)) is all kinds of fun and interesting). There are soooooo many child focused ministries that are in desperate need of help and support. Get involved in something like that and you get to enjoy the little savages for a bit, get wind them up like a top, and then get the pleasure of blessing their parents with all of that potential energy...sugar is also effective, yeah, sugar and scary stories. We stop short of caffeine.
 
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