A Few Keys to Botch an Alter Call


Well-Known Member
This was sent to me in an email and thought I would share it.

If you are going to evangelize, here are a few key points to remember if you DON'T want to see them saved.

This is all done tongue in cheek of course.

  1. Present an unbalanced message. Only let them see the heart-warming part of God's character. Preach God's love but leave out the holiness and justice. That way they think God will let them in no matter what - even without a savior.
  2. • Don't mention repentance until they're repeating the 'sinner's prayer' and that way they will just be echoing those words and won't see their need to repent of their sins and turn away from the world - and that way you can chalk up another one saved even if they don't have a clue what they just did. They won't know what you did to them until they are in hell.
  3. • Preach Jesus as a life enhancer not a savior whom they need and tell them that they can have riches and a nice life - free from illness or pain if they just say this prayer. Don't tell them about the suffering and persecution part. After all, what they don't know won't hurt them right? If they really don't die to self and be born again, they probably will have a pretty good life anyway.
  4. • Try to please the crowd - not God. Tell them what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear. That's real humanism love -save thyself from human wrath. God's love is for us to share the good news even if it is hard to hear so they avoid God's wrath.
  5. • Compromise the message to speed up the process. Christians have heard the gospel message hundreds of times. So, just say it again real fast so we can get to our favorite restaurant before it fills up. Even if this is the day that the Lord had prepared their heart to hear it for real - for the first time with open ears.
  6. • Give them the impression that God is so good He won't send anyone to Hell. Don't present the whole counsel of God or they might realize that He is so good that He’ll see to it that justice is served and that all unrepentant sinners will be punished in the fire that is not quenched.
  7. • Speak to sinners as though they were saints. They’ll think they are God’s children instead of the enemies of God because they are unrepentant sinners. That way you will mislead them into thinking they are really saved when they are not.
  8. • Don’t mention sin or man’s guilt. Resist the urge to explain what Christ came to deliver us from. Don’t show them their need for a savior. Otherwise it may all make sense.
  9. • Tell them Jesus is the only way but don’t explain why. Let them think it is just because it is a special club we want them to join to pump up our numbers over the Hindus or Muslims.
  10. • Confuse the call. Don’t tell them they are committing their life to Christ. Just tell them it is no big deal and it is better to just ‘do it’ than not do it. What is the harm? Better be safe than sorry. You can keep doing what you want – live like you want – the only difference is that you are forgiven now. That way, they will never count the cost – just make it easy and nothing more than agreeing to a vague question – not making a commitment to becoming born again, a child of God, and a disciple of Christ.
  11. • Use churchy terms like ‘saved’ ‘repent’ and ‘born again’ without ever explaining what they mean. That way, they will just go along with what you tell them to do without ever understanding what they are doing because you appear smarter and wiser. All they have do is say the words right? It doesn’t really matter if they know what they are doing.
  12. • Make sure you let them think that you are ‘holier’ than though and they need to measure up to your lofty way of living if they ever hope to getting into heaven and you will be godly enough to show them how it is done if they just do as you say.
  13. • Put more emphasis on the sinners prayer (which is not found any where in the Bible) than on repentance and faith. Satan will really like you for that one!
  14. • Play down the reality of Satan and Hell and Judgment day and God’s wrath. Those are uncomfortable things and someone as nice as them would never have to worry about such things.

Please REMEMBER THIS IS SARCASIM. The statements above are to make a point of how we are NOT to give the gospel but unfortunately too many do and it grieves the Lord greatly. Hopefully, this attempt at humor will open your eyes to what we really DO need to say.

His Child

This is such a sad,sad truth.The church I left a little while back (following the Holy Spirit's strong nudging) was doing exactly
most of what's on this list. The new church that I'm presently going to has had a change of leadership (it's a Baptist church,btw) and a few weeks ago the new pastor was singing praises to a book he's been reading by Bill Hybels :fear ,so...that was a huge red flag to me. Another thing that really struck me as very alarming was that this church did not have services the Wed. before Christmas,nor Christmas Eve evening,nor on the Wed. following Christmas. I wanted so much to go to the evening service Christmas Eve night! I worshipped Jesus here in my own home though,and spent time alone with Him reading His word and :praying: ,so it ended up being very special anyways.
There are sooo many souls out there who think they're going to with Jesus in Heaven someday,and might not because they've heard nothing about sin,their need to repent of it and whythey need a Saviour. :sad:
God bless everyone!
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Berean Girl

Princess of King Jesus
His child, is there a Calvary Chapel church in your area?? I strongly suggest that you see if there are because that is more than a red flag, Bill Hybels is not good.


Well-Known Member
His child, is there a Calvary Chapel church in your area?? I strongly suggest that you see if there are because that is more than a red flag, Bill Hybels is not good.
Yes, Calvary Chapel's are great but I have learned that they are not all the same across the country. Continue to use your discernment where ever you go. Times are getting very, very tough for the faithful believer.

One thing I am learning is that we can be the beacon of light at a church that the Lord guides us to and help them (or some within the church) to see the truth clearly. We may not find the perfect church out there but if God guides us there - we should prayerfully consider if He has sent us there on a mission to shed some light on a false teacher or witness. We may very well be an answer to prayer.

His Child

His child, is there a Calvary Chapel church in your area?? I strongly suggest that you see if there are because that is more than a red flag, Bill Hybels is not good.
Hi Berean,I've been wanting to say a big "thank you" because you (back on R.N.)directed me to a site called Lighthouse Trails;which I now have on my favorites list. It was there that I did some research on Bill Hybels. I knew very little about him. I feel led to possibly send in to this pastor some info. on Mr. Hybels,and what he's involved in and see what happens from there.

I believe the closest Calvery Chapel is in a city about 45 min. away. It will be worth the drive,if that's where God leads me and my family.
God bless you and thank you! :)