A Change of Heart

Juliet4402

New Member
I still remember my first time in church. The preacher was carrying on about Eve and sin and how all women had to suffer as a result. My five year old self didn't think that was fair. At five years old, what had I done to deserve that? I decided then God was mean and I wanted nothing to do with Him.
I proceeded to run my life the way I thought it should go. I did a real good job of destroying every opportunity that crossed my path. Despite graduating high school with honors, I drank and drugged my way into being suspended from college my sophomore year.
At 19 I was introduced to AA and by 21 I was shipped out to a treatment center in Arizona. There, I came out as gay and got myself sent to a sober house for gays in California.
Although I cleaned up and stayed dry for 12 years, I never had any spiritual experience and so I was still the miserable selfish child I had always been. I looked that whole time for a higher power I could relate to and accepted me the way I was. I became a practicing witch and medium and thought I was all that.
A speaking engagement exposed me for the dry miserable person I was and so I walked out of AA, slammed the door behind me, and set out to drink myself to death.
Twenty-one years later, an uncle reached out to me and asked me if I wanted help. I did. That weekend I was on a plane.
When I started recovery this time, I knew I was going to have to do things differently. I told the woman who was to become my sponsor that I did not want to know the "god of my understanding". I wanted to know God. Then I told her I might be gay. She told me that in the Bible, God's mind on that matter has never wavered.
I knew then that I don't get to tell God who He is. I don't get to tell God who I am. He made me the way He wanted me to be. I have not looked at or thought about a woman that way since. He changed my heart!
I have since joined a church and been baptized. I am over 3 years sober now and my relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in my life.
 

ItIsFinished!

Blood bought child of the King of kings.
Welcome Juliet !
Isn't it amazing how God brings things together for good .
Great testimony. Praise the Lord you have one .
Stay in daily prayer and be in His Word.
Stay around other believers .
ALWAYS TRUST the Lord.
Allow Him to make you into a vessel of honor fit for the Masters use.
A wonderful trophy of His grace.
Stay the course my friend.
Hope to see you around.

May the Lord bless.
✝️
 

twerpv

Well-Known Member
I still remember my first time in church. The preacher was carrying on about Eve and sin and how all women had to suffer as a result. My five year old self didn't think that was fair. At five years old, what had I done to deserve that? I decided then God was mean and I wanted nothing to do with Him.
I proceeded to run my life the way I thought it should go. I did a real good job of destroying every opportunity that crossed my path. Despite graduating high school with honors, I drank and drugged my way into being suspended from college my sophomore year.
At 19 I was introduced to AA and by 21 I was shipped out to a treatment center in Arizona. There, I came out as gay and got myself sent to a sober house for gays in California.
Although I cleaned up and stayed dry for 12 years, I never had any spiritual experience and so I was still the miserable selfish child I had always been. I looked that whole time for a higher power I could relate to and accepted me the way I was. I became a practicing witch and medium and thought I was all that.
A speaking engagement exposed me for the dry miserable person I was and so I walked out of AA, slammed the door behind me, and set out to drink myself to death.
Twenty-one years later, an uncle reached out to me and asked me if I wanted help. I did. That weekend I was on a plane.
When I started recovery this time, I knew I was going to have to do things differently. I told the woman who was to become my sponsor that I did not want to know the "god of my understanding". I wanted to know God. Then I told her I might be gay. She told me that in the Bible, God's mind on that matter has never wavered.
I knew then that I don't get to tell God who He is. I don't get to tell God who I am. He made me the way He wanted me to be. I have not looked at or thought about a woman that way since. He changed my heart!
I have since joined a church and been baptized. I am over 3 years sober now and my relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in my life.
Wow! What a testimony. Thank you for sharing.
 

RestInHim

Well-Known Member
When I started recovery this time, I knew I was going to have to do things differently. I told the woman who was to become my sponsor that I did not want to know the "god of my understanding". I wanted to know God. Then I told her I might be gay. She told me that in the Bible, God's mind on that matter has never wavered.
I knew then that I don't get to tell God who He is. I don't get to tell God who I am. He made me the way He wanted me to be. I have not looked at or thought about a woman that way since. He changed my heart!
I have since joined a church and been baptized. I am over 3 years sober now and my relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in my life.

:welcomeJuliet and thank you for your testimony. My thoughts as you shared are how patient and loving and full of grace is our Heavenly Father. Also, how prideful we all are that we want to do life our own way thinking it will bring us pleasure and happiness. But, we know that God knows best and He blesses obedience and the life lived through Him will most certainly be one of gratefulness.
 
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