Spurt Story

[vmoon]

The patrol car with it's blue lights flashing skidded to a stop and the officer shouted over the loud speaker.." Move to the side folks, there's nothing here to see."

[Theresa]

Well, almost nothing. There was some screwy archer aiming at the apple on the doctor's head, but other than that...

[vmoon]

Splat...........the hunchback was throwing rotten apples at officer JJ.

[Xtreme Cowboy]

Splat...........the hunchback was throwing rotten apples at officer JJ.

One of the apples hit officer JJ's gun from his holster and...

[Theresa]

One of the apples hit officer JJ's gun from his holster and...

...another knocked his aviator sunglasses to the apple-saucy ground.

[vmoon]

Officer JJ reached for his gun........

[PFerrara]

. . . which he must have left at home on the kitchen counter, because all he pulled out of the holster was his finger.

[Theresa]

Wait...okay...that's right, his gun was knocked out of its holster by a rotten apple thrown by the hunchback. "Why, you dirty rat!" shouted officer JJ. Splat! An extra-wormy apple smacked him right in the mouth!

[vmoon]

All of this while, no one noticed the hunch back meandering through the leaves, his tattered brown pants dragging the ground and the stench of his approaching presence made the crowd....

[Theresa]

All of this while, no one noticed the hunch back meandering through the leaves, his tattered brown pants dragging the ground and the stench of his approaching presence made the crowd....

...!

[vmoon]

The apple orchard had become a putrid barf fest.

[Theresa]

One strong-stomached bystander yanked out her cell phone and dialed 1-800-wehelpu, the local handyman/woman business. Ralph Upchuck, one of the owners, promised to send out a clean-up team ASAP.

[PFerrara]

In just a few minutes, a white panel van showed up and three guys in Hazmat suits jumped out of the back with a giant vaccum cleaner.

[vmoon]

The Hazmat personel were shouting directions at the barf-soaked crowd but no one could understand them because they sounded like Darth Vedar in their hazmat suits.

[Theresa]

"Puuuuke," hissed one Hazmat-suited worker, "I am your washer!"

[vmoon]

One by one the crowd was sucked clean by the super sized vacuum cleaners and given an all clean sticker on their now fresh clothes.

[Theresa]

The mayor, newly arrived on the scene, stared in open-mouthed wonder.

[vmoon]

Golly Gosh Darn, there aint a spect of vomit anywhere to be found. Let's give the Hazmat team a round of applause.

[Theresa]

The mayor started to clap. The hunchback joined in, and he was soon followed by the doctor, Officer JJ, and the rest of the onlookers. Before they knew it, they were all singing a rousing rendition of Kumbaya and sharing a huge group hug. It was so beautiful it brought tears to everyone's eyes.

[PFerrara]

Norman, who had injured one of his back legs in the fray, had been given a tiny crutch. He swayed with the music, dabbed his eyes with a tiny kerchief and said, "God bless us, every one."