Sanctified...

[Meg]

I am listening to one of the first CD's I bought as a brand new Christian, and its bringing back some memories. I was 42 years old when I came to Christ. To know me now, people would never guess what I was back then. Sometimes it surprises me, how different I am now. Back in those early months, I couldn't possibly have guessed how far Jesus Christ could and did bring me...

I was half crazy with anger and pain, couldn't believe that I could be loved, full of casual laughter on the outside, full of sharp edges on the inside. Jesus Christ was so kind and patient with me. Step by step, He gently taught me to stop tearing myself to pieces. One thing that really amazed me was the music He brought into my life. I had been into rock & roll for most of my life, and the Lord saw to it that the Christian music I found was every bit as sophisticated and alive as anything I had enjoyed in my old life. One CD, Edens Bridge, Isle Of Tides surpassed anything else I have ever heard, and the Vineyard CD's were also as good as any rock and blues I had ever heard anywhere else. Slowly, I emerged from darkness of sin into a refuge of prayer and sanity beyond anything I could ever have guessed possible. As I explored the Bible, I discovered the heart of God, discovered that He did indeed know how people could carry on, He understood perfectly the things that had hurt me so. I also learned how to root my faith in times if doubt, that people who we look upon as great heroes of the Bible could and did make mistakes, and that God gave second chances. I discovered that miracles still happen and that physical healing was the tip of a very large iceberg in the way of miracles, because the kind of miracles that heal the inner person don't express well on paper or in front of an audience.

I am a walking miracle. I have been delivered and healed in ways that psychiatrists would call impossible. They give people drugs to relieve symptoms, Jesus Christ healed the causes, soothed the wounds, sometimes intervening directly, other times teaching me to forgive what sin't easily forgiven, thus I was freed from bitterness that was part of what was tearing me to pieces.

People who know me now seem to think I'm just "a nice person", but what I am now is much deeper than any of that, and in no way resembles what I used to be. When I picked up my first Bible and started to read it, I liked what God was asking, I really liked (and still do...) how He thinks, so I really wanted to do what He asked. He says His yoke is easy and His burden is light, and this is true. This is because when we hit rough spots, He helps us with the hard parts. My family hurt me a lot, a whole lot, and part of the journey was about forgiveness. I found that Jesus Christ didn't expect me to just forgive lightly, like nothing happened, instead He'd wait until the time was perfect (not just "right", I mean His timing and technique were truly elegant), and then He'd ask me. When I was having trouble coming to terms with something He was trying to tell me, He'd patiently repeat the same thing until I got it. He built His Spirit in me very carefully, one step at a time, and as the process unfolded, I discovered that His Peace wasn't some mystical variation on being stoned or something, but rather a confidence and grace of personality, which is what people notice now. I also discovered that I can still lose it under pressure, but my temper isn't as bad, and the stress doesn't last as long. It also takes more to push me past self control than it used to.

I still get scared, and I still have times of uncertainty too. I am now partially crippled in the right hip from severe arthritis, and my right knee is messed up too, so I can't work like I used to. I have also relocated to a place so strange to me now I feel like a fish out of water. Funny thing is the very people who make me feel out of place now closely resemble the kind of person I used to be... I am wondering and praying about how to tell them what the Lord can really do for a person...

I felt I should try to describe these things tonight. I hope this testimony helps someone somehow.

Jesus Christ is real, He understands each of us better than we understand ourselves. He knows exactly who did what to who, why when and how, and He also knows what the pain of being hurt did to us. He also knows how to get it apart and straighten the mess out, really, He's good! He's absolutely stunning when He gets in and starts unpacking the damage and healing us from the inside. Give Him a chance, just ask Him about Himself. Jesus Christ is very much alive and fully capable of speaking for Himself, so take a chance, get alone and ask Him...

God bless you deeply. I hope you make it... I did. Thank God for that!!

[mattfivefour]

Meg, that was an eloquent testimony to exactly what the Holy Spirit does in us. I have no doubt that God will give you exactly the words you need when you have opportunities to talk to those who are as you were and tell them how you became who you are now.

And God is by no means finished with you—or any of us—yet.

[livin_in_the_Son]

Meg, that was simply beautiful! Reading testimonies like that give me hope that everything I feel is 'normal', and that God is truly faithful! What a blessing you have given me, as always, God gave you the words, to something I needed to hear. It still amazes me that He works in us for others. I know that your testimony will help others as well. dear sister.

[Meg]

Meg, that was simply beautiful! Reading testimonies like that give me hope that everything I feel is 'normal', and that God is truly faithful! What a blessing you have given me, as always, God gave you the words, to something I needed to hear. It still amazes me that He works in us for others. I know that your testimony will help others as well. dear sister.

Dear Sister, I don't know what you mean by what you feel, but I would make a working bet that whatever you are going through is indeed normal. I used to call the internet the devil's playground, and I never thought I would have another home computer (I got in quite a bit of trouble online before I was Saved). Then in 2008, when I was a month short of my 5 year mark, the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to buy a computer. I prayed about it for 3 weeks before I finally decided to replace TV service with online service, and the first thing I did was to join an online group hosted by a Christian magazine. There were people there with questions about what they were going through. Some of the things they were worried about matched experiences I had already worked through, such as accusing thoughts and the coming and going of that strong sense of the presence of the Lord. There were other questions as well, and at first I was amazed and intimidated that little me was teaching others, so sometimes I would give it a few days to see if anyone else would step up and answer. When no one did, I would answer. I felt kind of intimidated, but I knew through experience what those people were asking about, and I understood how scary it could be to have those questions and concerns with nowhere to turn. Eventually the trolls started getting the better of that unmoderated forum, and it stopped being very nice, and I found other online ministries in which to write about my own doubts, fears and worries and in which to grow.

Jesus Christ has a way of taking us completely by surprise with unexpected blessings in many ways, so please be of strong heart and bold faith. And please, if you have questions and concerns about something happening in your life, PM someone around here you have reason to believe will understand. I think there are enough mature Christians in this forum who have enough of a variety of experiences that one of us will understand just about anything anyone else might find themselves dealing with, and we're all very good at keeping member's business private.

May the Lord bless and keep you, and may He answer your prayers as only He can. Jesus Christ is deeply faithful, and He can and will care for you as you wait for His answers, trust me there. The Dawn does indeed come in some form or other to those who wait upon His Grace Amen

[readytogo]

Thank you for sharing your testimony, Meg.

[anath]

I thank you too sis for sharing your powerful testimony of how awesome our Lord is!