My family is falling apart!

[discusdog]

I don't know how anyone can get by in this world without Jesus! How dismal, depressing and hopeless life must be! He has comforted me, and always taken care of me. Protected me from several would be car accidents. I can almost feel him wrapping his arms around me...
How great is our God!!!!!!
Sometimes the problems in our lives seem so trivial.....I know it will all work out in the end.

[discusdog]

Hello everyone, I have not posted for awhile. More problems, I do so appreciate your suggestions and prayers. I don't know what to do...now it looks as though we won't be getting together with dd and sil for Christmas. They have moved to Wisconsin.
About a month ago my dh was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Accidentally found when he was admitted to the hosp for 3 days for tooth abcess. Told dd, and initiallly she was concerned and talked to him once,( I handed him the phone). She never called him, but called myself and ds for updates. I told her she should call him to find out what is going on, but she did not want to talk to him. Since he wasn't immediately dying, she wanted info from us.
We were initially going to meet halfway for Christmas somewhere due to the drive. Dd,ds and myself thought it would be too stressful and pointless to meet, so ds told her we were thinking of just not getting together. She got mad and posted personal info about dd on facebook, she knows her dad values his privacy. I called her up and asked her to remove her comments from facebook and that we would talk tomorrow. She agreed. Today dh said he would only go if she apologized for the facebook thing. I told her this, she refuses to apologize and says her dd needs to apologize for hurtful things he has said to her and for threatening her dh. She says if I don't get together for Christmas she will be badly hurt. Oh what to do! But feel I can't go without dh. Help anyone? Did we start this by not wanting to get together for Christmas?

[mattfivefour]

Immaterial what started it, or caused it, sis. It is all the work of human flesh and Satan. I do not know what you should do in this situation. But I can tell you that forgiveness opens many doors and builds mnany bridges. Ephesians 4:31 (NASB) says: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger ... be put away from you," There are people in your family who are angry and hurt in their flesh. Remember, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) You need to find a place of rest in Christ in the midst of this and I pray that He make it plain to you how you find it. I also pray He give you the wisdom to deal with all of the fleshly people around you and that He speak to each of them. I believe He will do ALL of what we ask, because He answers prayer. You cannot please everybody in this situation. So do not try that. But you can love each one of them and you can be the voice of love and peace and gentleness even when they despise and abuse you for being such. Ultimately, your place is with your husband, not with any other member of your family at this time. Not because he is right. I do not think he is. But only because you vowed to cleave only to him.

Dear sister, lean wholly on God; and trust Him to work things out as you do so.

[LivnForChrist]

What a mess but God can straighten out anything. Pray and trust. Pray and trust. Pray and trust.
Put it in God's hand and leave it there. Praying in agreement.

[Hannah]

I agree with Matt it doesn't matter what started the problem in the first place it is all works of the flesh.

You have to decided what to do.

I personally cannot cope with emtotional blackmail from others. Grew up in a Slavic family and the culture of emotional blackmail. I never use it and I am not easily manipulated by it.

Seems everytime your daughter cannot get her way she uses emotional blackmail to manipulate all of you.

The time is going to come when you husband is so sick and your daughter is going to have a fit because you have to stay by his beside instead of giving her your attention.

You can either constantly give in or establish some boundaries.

You cannot run after your daughter everytime and give in to her every time. She needs to know that there are times she needs to be more accomodating to you and your husband.

In the End you and your husband have to together make the choice what you will do.

Praying for the Lord to lead you both as you try to decide the best way to deal with your daughters demands, Amen.

[discusdog]

Thank you for all your help and prayers. Last night dd called and dh answered the phone. Dh was pleasant, asking why she hated him so much and letting her know that he was hurt by her not calling. Dd kept bringing up the past (the last time dh ripped into sil about stealing), saying she can't allow her family to be treated badly. I reminded her that she hasn't given him the chance to treat them badly as she doesnt call her dad and won't answer the phone if he tries to call her. She hung up on him, he called back. I told her we need to forgive and move on. She says she can't. Somehow dh agreed to meet after he asked me if I wanted to, as he had her on the phone. I said yes, as I just want to move on, and think that declining could damage any future chance of a relationship. So dh, ds and myself will be meeting them halfway at a restaurant.
This is going to be awkward, but I will continue to pray. Thank you all for your insight.

[mattfivefour]

We shall continue to pray, as well.

Don't get up tight. Keep your eyes on Jesus and TRUST HIM ... not what you think, see or hear.

[FaithInChrist]

Isn't there a brand new grandchild in this picture too? I am sure you and your DH long to see that baby. I agree with everybody, look to Christ for your strength, do not let even an ounce of this to rest on your shoulders.

DH and DD need to do 100% of their communication toward each other with each other, and not make you their middle-man. It may not seem like it, but in doing so it enables this childish behavior.

I pray that hearts are opened during this trip, I pray you are so full of the Holy Spirit that His presence overbears any sense of awkwardness. Keep your face to the Lord and let His glory shine through you. You are the light that must shine in this family to show them that the matters they are fighting about are petty. There is no time to be angry with each other, as none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. I pray you are safe on the road as well as your daughter and her family are safe also. Take care and God Bless.

[mattfivefour]

I pray that hearts are opened during this trip, I pray you are so full of the Holy Spirit that His presence overbears any sense of awkwardness. Keep your face to the Lord and let His glory shine through you. You are the light that must shine in this family to show them that the matters they are fighting about are petty. There is no time to be angry with each other, as none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. I pray you are safe on the road as well as your daughter and her family are safe also. Take care and God Bless.

Amen!

[Hannah]

Praying for the Lord to cover your family gathering at Christmas. Especially asking the Lord to enable your hubby & daughter to reconcile and leave this past behind and be able to move on together in the Lord. Amen

[ShilohRose]

[discusdog]

Tried to send a pm to obie, hmmm not very computer savvy. Thanks for the prayers. Situation hasn't changed much but the Lord knows what is best.

[mattfivefour]

Tried to send a pm to obie, hmmm not very computer savvy. Thanks for the prayers. Situation hasn't changed much but the Lord knows what is best.

Standing on the last part of your post is what faith is. Believe His Word above even even your own five senses. That is not blind faith because it is based on His immutable Word. By doing what you said you are truly believing God is, that He is who He says He is, and does exactly what He says He will do. He will never let you go, sis.

And our prayers are alongside you.

[discusdog]

Mattfivefour, I read your post with tears streaming down my face.
It is all I can do, trust that he knows what's best. I don't want to ruin any future chances of reconciliation, but am hurt and angry. Father, please direct my ways in regards to these two kids. I am having a hard time calling my daughter, so have texted casually back and forth to keep the lines of communication open about once weekly. You say love conquers all, and forgive 7x70 times. Her brother and her dad are deeply hurt and it hurts me. Am I to tolerate her behavior towards us just to keep communication open?
Father, I thank you for this forum and all the brothers and sisters who are here to help comfort, in Jesus name, Amen

[Hannah]

Lifting your family up to the Lord. May God deal with all concerned and bring about His best and His plan for all of you. Praying for healing and for forgiveness. Praying for your heart which is so burdened as you love so much all parties in this situation. In Jesus Name Amen.

[LivnForChrist]

Lifting your family up to the Lord. May God deal with all concerned and bring about His best and His plan for all of you. Praying for healing and for forgiveness. Praying for your heart which is so burdened as you love so much all parties in this situation. In Jesus Name Amen.

[mattfivefour]