Why Aren’t I Open about My Faith?
Why am I such a coward?
By Dawn Yrene
“Christmas is my favorite holiday because it’s about Jesus, and I love Jesus.” It might have sounded corny if I’d had the guts to say it aloud. Sure, it was true. But as I thought of saying the words to the hairdresser who was running her scissors through my hair, trying to fix a self-style that had gone terribly wrong, I had the feeling it would come out—unnatural.
So instead, we talked about husbands, kids and childhood memories, but, for some reason, the closest I got to talking about Jesus was, “I love Christmas music.”
On another day, my neighbor’s face looked worried as we met on the road. I was out for a morning walk. She was driving her six-year-old to the hospital for a CAT scan. I glanced into the back seat where he was wrapped in a blanket. Lord, help it not to be serious, I said inwardly. “I’ll be thinking about you today,” I said outwardly.
I’ll be thinking about you? What good will that do?
She drove away, and I prayed for them. It turned out not to be serious so I thanked God—just between the two of us—but I wondered why I hadn’t been honest with my neighbor about prayer.
Jesus said to “go and make disciples of all nations.” I want to live our Christ’s commission, yet I often seem to withhold my true beliefs when it comes to my faith. I’m realizing I have different reasons for clamming up and that as I get honest with myself about those reasons, I’m able to be more authentic with others. Not only is honesty helping me to understand my own strange behavior, it’s helping me to tell others that Jesus cares, and that I care enough to let them know. If you struggle with being candid about your faith, maybe you’ll relate to some of my reasons for camouflaging what I believe and the ways God is helping me to get real about the Good News.
Reason #1. Some unbelievers seem okay without Christ
One reason I hesitate to share my faith is that some unbelievers seem alright without Christ. My friend, Jean*, says she is not a Christian. She won’t go to church because she uses bad language. Yet I’ve known her to take in a homeless stranger. When a fire destroyed a nearby community, she gave the best of her belongings to those who had lost everything.
The painful truth is, she laughs more than I do and does more good deeds. For some time, I thought I had nothing to offer her. She was more Christlike than I was, even without Christ. But as I’ve grown closer to Jean, I’ve learned she deals with unforgiveness, marriage problems, and the same temptations and fears common to us all. The difference is, she suffers through her pain without the comfort and healing of Christ. While I’m far from perfect, 2 Corinthians 3:18 says I’m being changed from glory to glory. Jean, however, shares that she feels more and more like a victim, despite her desire to do good.
Only Jesus loves Jean like she longs to be loved. While her good works may bring temporary happiness because they line up with God’s ways, she needs to know that Jesus gave His life so she could have abundant, eternal life. I also remember what my life was like without Christ and the many ways He’s set me free. He’s given victory over sins that once enslaved me, replaced misery with joy during times of suffering, and is changing my desire to take, into a desire to give.
Even though some unbelievers I meet are relatively good people, I must remember it’s how Jesus lived and died that saves them, not how godly they appear to be.
When Jean recently discovered several lumps in her neck that required a biopsy, I didn’t say, “I’ll be thinking about you,” but, “I’ll pray for you.” Then I listened while she shared some of the hurtful events of her life from childhood sexual abuse to difficulties in her marriage. Since then, I’m becoming more open with her about what Jesus has done for me. I’m finding I don’t want to keep such good news to myself. I want her to know how much Jesus loves her.
Reason #2. I’ve turned people off in the past
Another reason I’m slow to open up about Jesus is that I’ve turned people off in the past. My neighbor Deb* once asked if Jehovah’s Witnesses had knocked on my door. I could have been honest and told her I’d unsuccessfully tried to talk with them about my beliefs. Instead, I decided it was my chance to witness—not out of love, but to add credentials to my spiritual resume. I went into a discourse about Heaven, Hell, the Second Coming and prophesy. I took up a good part of her afternoon and sent her out the door with a Bible and two Christian movies.
She was careful after that not to bring up religion. I was embarrassed that I’d treated her so impersonally. Afraid to offend, I focused more on “lifestyle evangelism.” The problem was, I was so subtle, only those who knew me well knew I was a Christian.
A couple of years after my sermonette, Deb stopped by my house to tell me she was moving. She also said she’d been reading the Bible and believed its message. We cried and I told her I’d pray for her to find a place to worship. She later phoned to say she’d found a Bible-centered church and was attending every Sunday.
My experience with Deb has proved that even when I think I’ve turned someone off, the Word of God is at work. Isaiah 55:10-11 says, “[My word] will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” When I speak God’s words, He makes them yield fruit. Knowing that it’s God who reaches hearts, despite my awkwardness, I’m learning to be honest about my faith and let Him take over from there.
Reason #3. I’m trying to please people more than God
Sometimes, honesty means saying things that displease others. A couple of moms on our street knew I was a Christian. I’d invited them to church and taken their kids to VBS. Still, I often nodded knowingly when the two of them gossiped as we walked to and from our kids’ bus stop. I didn’t want to seem prudish.
One day, they were talking about how bad another woman’s children were. My neighbor said her son was going to beat up the two younger boys if they didn’t change. “He just can’t take it any more,” she said, as if violence were the solution.
I knew the absent woman tried to be a good mom. I also knew the Holy Spirit was urging me to be honest. I decided to let them know my true feelings.
“You need to teach your own children to be peacemakers,” I said.
Both women looked at me in surprise.
“Kids do bicker and fight at times,” I continued. “I did, too, at their age. But we need to teach them to be kind.”
This time it was my neighbors who nodded as our gossip session came to a halt. The next day, our conversation was more positive, and within a month, the boy who was going to hammer the other two told me his family had attended church. I can’t help wondering if, after all my attempts to coax them to church had failed, a little honesty was what helped my neighbor see her need.
I tend to avoid offending others, but when I think of the approach of John the Baptist, the apostle Paul, and Jesus, I see there is a time for disturbing the peace. Paul said in Galatians. 1:10, “If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Getting my eyes off of people’s opinions and onto God’s is helping me to open up, which means getting bold with those who need truth more than I need to be liked.
I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my attempts to be honest with unbelievers, but I’m finding God has grace to use me despite my blunders. It’s His power, not mine, that draws people to Christ so I’m learning to spend time with Him first, then be authentic.
Recently, I noticed my hair was in need of attention. I decided against a do-it-yourself job. Instead, I sat in a comfortable chair at my favorite salon where a skilled young woman touched up my highlights. It wasn’t the same stylist I’d seen last Christmas, but, as before, we talked about life. There was one difference this time: Our conversation included our spiritual lives. It turns out she’d attended church, but an argument among leadership had sent her away confused. She’d since been living away from Christ. She seemed ready to find a place of worship, so I invited her to my church. I’m not sure if I’ll see her there. I’m glad I was real, though. Maybe God will use something I said to draw her back to Him.
If you find openness with unbelievers daunting, ask God to show you why. Try listing your fears and faulty perceptions. Once you’ve been honest with yourself, decide to get honest with others about your faith. Being real is opening the doors to new opportunities to share why I’m a Christian. And why not? It’s who I am.
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Originally Posted by MikeD
I really needed that
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