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Hope the seeds take...
Well, my time here at the Lutheran Evangelical School of Aged Care in the mountains of southern Germany is up. With the grace of God, I'll be moving a few hundred klicks north and finish my course in Mum's home town, starting in the new year.
Today we had a class "Christmas" Party. It was a sad affair for me, realising that the odds are very high I will never see my fellow students and the staff again, this side of the Rapture or *gulp* until the White Throne court case...
The first day of the course, we had to stand in turn and give a short introduction of ourselves. I was fresh out of Australia and still wet behind the ears from Baptism (dunked because the Lord saved me, not saved because I got dunked ;) ). For my reason for choosing to train as a geriatric nurse (mastered the geriatric bit already, now working on the nursing) I stated simply that I had repented to the Lord Jesus Christ and wanted to work in a field which applied love-thy-neighbour, rather than just boosting someone's profit. Seeing as how the population is aging, children are seen as an inconvenience, and changing elderly nappies doesn't pay well or attract/retain enough staff, I thought it would be pleasing to the Lord and that I would be around other folks with the same mindset.
The first things I noticed were the groans, rolled eyes and condescending/wary/hostile looks at the mention of "Lord Jesus Christ" and "repentance". No matter, I thought, this is a Christian school, this should be a suitable and supportive environment for preaching the Gospel and leading folks to the Lord. This misconception was shattered when the theology lecturer declared the Bible to be full of contradictions and myths, yet he was "a believer and was happy for the gift of faith". From this auspicious start he gave a very brief, almost perfunctory, explanation of the modern, "seeker-sensitive" Lutheran doctrine. If sin, the Gospel and deity of The Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth were in it, I must have blinked too loud and missed them. To round out the subject of "The three Abrahamic Monotheistic Faiths" (he included the cult of mohammed the borrower! :puke .....like comparing an egg, an eagle, and a snake, I think), we were treated to a few taquiyya-edit videos extolling the "religion of peace", complete with apologist views explaining the dangers of "extremists" (and I naively thought they were fundies; was tempted to bring in my collection of "reality tv" videos of the magnificent and merciful deeds of sharia-compliant followers of the moon-idol allah, but these are mostly young students and didn't want them heaving and having nightmares...).
Being a newly re-born Christian I girded my nappy (see attached photo), spat out my dummy and fought a rather clumsy defense of the infallibility of Scripture, helped by the only other Christian in the class (He left the course rather quickly, showing superior discernment I hope, rather than cowardice in the face of the enemy). What didn't help were my poor German skills and complete lack of knowledge of Scripture in that language. I struggled along with translations from memory on-the-fly. The gift of tongues would have been useful at this point, however the Lord gives his gifts to whom He will, and He knows what He is doing. To say the least, the class and the lecturer enjoyed our discomfort, so I guess we fought an ignominable last stand and died with the boots of the Gospel of peace on.
Since then, I have tried to hold the line, preach the Gospel and refute the foolish teachings of evolution and universalism. This has not been fun, and so far as I know, has not borne fruit. My efforts have not been consistent and my walk and witness leave much to be desired.
My first employer (an aged "care" home near Munich) fired me for daring to write to the manager about the contrast between the glowing mission statement and the actual conditions for residents and staff. Sparing the details, if a 36 year old former military/unarmed combat instructor/casino dealer/builder (I've been a busy little sinner :( ) spends an hour each day curled in a ball weeping and praying and dreading before going to work, there is probably something seriously wrong with the place! All the folks I showed the email to agreed that it was spot on, and was a "most courageous" thing to do (I think that is code-speak for "monumentally stupid").
The new employer was a breath of fresh air, for a couple of weeks. Seeing the employees rotating through there like replacements in a WW1 trench battle, and noticing my weight drop 20lb in 6 months, my sleep habits shredded and my patience and temper go distressingly far in the direction of "ungodly" was not promising, or productive in witnessing. However, the hotter the furnace and the bigger the lions, the closer I get to the Lord and the more experienced I get in walking through this valley of death. Hopefully I'm getting saltier and brighter too, at least I think so.
Anyway, I ramble, back to the events of this last day. As the celebration rolled along, I grew sadder and more frustrated and distressed: a Christmas tree, pine branches, candles, heavy-metal carol versions, spiced wine/beer (at 8am!), lots of sweet snacks, and thoughts of the utter lack of evidence of any conversions or Biblical knowledge made the gathering feel more like I was standing on the bridge of the RMS Titanic and suddenly discovering I was wearing the captain's uniform.....
Whenever I am in the presence of unsaved people, I get uncomfortable. Thinking of them plummeting into the lake of fire shouting "why didn't you tell me?!?", while the Lord says "why didn't you tell them?", weigh heavily on my heart, often. Oiling myself with beer and spiced wine didn't help either, so scratch that technique off the witnessing list. Things only de-railed at the very end of the day. The deputy-director of the school joined us die-hards still present; this lady apostasised from the church years ago and "found her own way to God through buddhism and hinduism", and teaches evolution and universalist new age "christianity" with relish. We get on like a house on fire (with me locked in and her on the outside holding off the fire-brigade with a machine-gun).
Her idea to contribute to the "spirit" of the occasion was to put on a CD of christian/buddhist contemplative hymns. At this stage I had already had a couple of teary farewell-hugs coupled with the lubrication of early-morning alcohol, so my emotional state was, fragile. I grabbed my jacket and saying in dismay "oh no, no, no, you can't, please, I'm going" and heading for the heathen-free corridor, but when pressured as to why, I caved and took this last opportunity to stand in the breach.
Starting with my pre-salvation days, I took them through why I repented and gave them the Law, Judgement to come and the Gospel
, emphasising the total insufficiency of religion and the horror and abomination of synchretism, universalism, and denying The Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I'm no orator and not a born-evangelist, but I think I was getting something across by the way folks started jumping up and leaving, one by one. For once, there were few interruptions and derailments, but after about 15 minutes it was too much for the deputy-director so she jumped up and treated me to a public repeat of the standard "you're an intolerant narrow-minded Bible thumping therapy-ripe Jesus-fanatic" spiel that she gave me in her office last week.
Ignoring the flattery, and getting steamed by her rude-ness, stubborn-ess and refusal to hear me out, I began to get a bit hot under the collar...stabbing the table before me with a finger and asking in a loud voice what her explanation for the cross and the reason for Jesus coming at all, what sin was, and her opinion of the exchange rate of good deeds vs bad deeds necessary to get to heaven. She fled, without answering. I'm not proud of this, by the way, but having tried every other way and getting sick of the condescending brush-offs, stock excuses, intimidation, hypocrisy and insults, the gloves started to come off. One man stayed, the politest and most relaxed and righteous man in the class, a father of 2.3 children. His walk puts mine to shame, and he isn't even a Christian! We had a quiet chat and he asked a couple of things that make me think that perhaps the whole circus had been worth it after all.
Feeling like I had just repeatedly ran over the whole neighbourhood's pets, I went home, fell on my face before the Lord and poured out my heart along with my tears. Oh God I hope I haven't blown it completely for these folks, this whole 16 months has been a torture, not being able to communicate effectively and making a shambles of witnessing and walking in patience and love. I'm starting to really hate the way phony christians piggyback their nonsense and filth onto the pure and simple Gospel, muddying the water and confirming folks in unbelief and heresy, and to top it off stab me in the back. There is more respect in me for a heathen that is honest and polite and approachable than there is for these traitors and conscienceless dirty fighters. So, to conclude this ramble-rant, I'd like some brothers and sisters to hit their knees and lift all these poor folks to the Lord, for conviction to repentance, and forgiveness for sins, blessings and strength and guidance and protection at work. And also for poor micah, he's a little ragged around the edges right now, with another 20 months at a new school/job. May the Lord have mercy, grant grace, and be praised and thanked.
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Micah,you planted the seeds. A job well done! Their hearts have been pricked by the Holy Spirit.
Originally Posted by micah719
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