Occupy Golf Movement

[KR McKay]

Occupy Golf Movement

WE NEED TO BE HEARD!!!

I am a member of golf's lower 99%.

I am an indifferent golfer, and there's no way I could ever make it to the professional level. I will never put in the practice time to be the best. I will never have the shots, skills, or mental toughness to make it in the sport. I just never felt like working all that hard at it.
However, I am a part of the golfing community and, as such, feel I should be paid by the top 1% of golfers for what I do. It isn't fair that those players who have worked harder, have studied the game, have better equipment and are more skilled and dedicated should make all that BIG money.

Where's my share? I'm a Victim!


The top 1% should pay for my club memberships and green fees and lessons, buy me new clubs, balls, clothes and shoes, and pay me some of their winnings. They can afford it. They are "The Rich."

The whole system should be changed to accommodate people like me. I think we should get together and occupy a golf course and demand that those who are better at what they do, pay for us who are generally abysmal at golfing. Whining should get us something - maybe we'll make the cover of Time Magazine, garnish some public sympathy. Maybe during this election year we may even get a law or two passed by legislators who want our votes.

PS. Don't mention this to tennis players. We thought of it first!

[readyforhome]

Too funny.

[billym]

[SonSeeker]

I am sooooo bummed! I don't play golf or tennis.

[micah719]

Hmmmm, golf, eh?

Never saw the attraction in it.

First time I went for a walk at one of those places I had an interesting time, but the finer points were beyond me, and I wasn't allowed back anymore anyway.

Little groups of escaped maniacs kept firing little white plastic cannonballs at me. I don't know why they kept calling out "four" and waving their pathetic little weapons in the air. How rude. To show I was of better stuff than them I brought them back their little balls and told them I could count and that "yes, there are four of you crazy people in each bunch". They didn't thank me for returning their ammunition. They said a lot of rude things.

After a good cool-down dip in one of the nice lakes, I went and watched another crew digging holes in one of the better patches of ground. Their hoes (that's what they were, not weapons!) were most ineffective, so I went and found a real one and came back. These were even ruder than the first lot! You'd never believe what they started shouting at me when I started digging a fine hole for them. I thought it was better to leave them alone, as they were clearly not in their right minds.

I found another bunch of crazies at another spot. Three of them were standing there watching the fourth weirdo pounding one of the little while balls into a sandpit and practising more of the foul language they all seem to know well enough already. They weren't very helpful when I asked what they were doing, and if the children wouldn't get mad at them for ruining the sandpit. They said the sandpit was a bunker, though it was nothing like any bunker I remember from being in the Army. I decided to help out.

The gardener had parked his tractor thingy nearby and gone off somewhere, so I hopped on and used the dinky little dozer blade attachment to fill in some of the deeper sandpits, so people wouldn't fall in, or lose any more cannonballs. It wasn't as easy as I thought, but I found some good topsoil under a flat patch of grass with a flag sticking in it and managed quite well after that, until a gang of clowns dressed in tartan pyjamas came running up and did a convincing impression of being mad at me. They were very good actors; if I hadn't known better I could have sworn they really wanted to get me. They weren't as fast as the tractor though, but they did follow for some considerable distance before giving up. I soon got tired of driving about on the tractor, and thought that while this golfing stuff was amusing, it was not really worthwhile. I decided to go fishing instead....

[king'sbloomingrose]

Micah!

[anath]

KR, Micah, you gotta know the right moves and have the right attitude. Go to the golf course, stake your claim, pitch yer tent and go from there, silly. Feel free to use the grounds as your bathroom, dress the part(abercrombie & fitch clothes will do nicely) and be sure to take your ipad and iphone.
It's a proven fact, the money will come pouring in and mucho praises for how smart and clever you are. Works every time

[micah719]

Vader has staked his claim, heh heh heh....