Glossary of Church Growth & Contemporary Christian Music Terminology - Leonard Payton



ACCOMPANIMENT TRACK - A means of momentarily transforming ordinary folks into Christian Artists.

AWESOME - An adjective encapsulating the attributes of God which are in bad form to mention.

BOOMERS - The most important Demographic group; people born between 1945 and l961.

BUSTERS - The next most important Demographic group; people born after 1961; anatomically human, but that is as far as it goes; Clinton's staff.



C.C.L.I. - an organization in Portland, which, for an annual fee, takes care of copyright hassles so that we can sing all our favorite songs by all our favorite Christian Artists.



CELEBRATION - A Seeker Friendly service where everything is relevant and the music is joyous.

CHRISTIAN ARTIST - A person who sings and whose recordings sell in large quantities.



COMMUNITY CHURCH - A congregation which is part of a larger denomination or conference, but which is ashamed of that denomination's name.

CONFESSION - Not Seeker Friendly.



CONTEMPORARY - Anything since 1960, although music from 1970 on is more contemporary.

DEMOGRAPHICS - A management tool useful for paring down "the uttermost part of the earth" to attainable units.

DRAMA SKETCH - A five minute soap opera or sitcom with Christian words.

DRUMS - A musical instrument useful for making the worship more joyous.



EXCELLENCE - The favorite style of music performed at the level of a Christian artist.

GOOD OLD HYMN - Any congregational song composed between 1850 and 1950, in a style fitting for the circus, reminding us of our parents' and grandparents' hokey churches. A verse of one of these songs should be sung periodically for wholesome sentimental value, similar to baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet.



GREAT OLD HYMNS - "A Mighty Fortress," "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name," and "Crown Him With Many Crowns."




HE - With a large case "H" — God.

HYMNAL - Cumbersome relic of a bygone age.

INTEGRITY - A brand name.



JOYOUS - Music at 120 quarter notes per minute with back beats on beats two and four so that the congregation can clap (and if it is especially joyous, dance). Truly joyous music will not have more than four or five chords as that would distract from the joy. It is especially joyous if drums are present.



LAW OF GOD - Get a clue! Definitely not Seeker Friendly.



LIGHTS - That which gives a luster of midday to objects up front. The congregation should not be well lit. That is not Seeker friendly.

And since the Seeker is only accustomed to being with large groups of people at a theater, it would be stressful for him if his expressions could be seen by others.



LITURGY - A suspicious word, definitely not Seeker Sensitive.

LORD - The only acceptable name for God aside from "You" and "He."



MARANATHA - A brand name.

MEDLEY - A verse of a Good Old Hymn sandwiched between contemporary praise songs to improve the palatability of the Good Old Hymn.

MUSIC - The most strategic conveyance of Spirit-Filledness.

NEEDS - The hot button of the Seeker.




ORGAN - An unfortunate musical instrument to be avoided because it evokes a sense of distance from God. Like the accordion (use an accordion, go to jail); use an organ, fail to reach Seekers.

OVERHEAD - An appropriate object of genuflection. For maximum relevance, the overhead should be placed where the Cross was.

PROGRAM DIRECTOR - The resident liturgical manager.

RELEVANCE - That which is most likely to capture affectionate attention.



SEEKER - a person, not a part of the church, whose tastes are, nonetheless, the most important.

SEEKER FRIENDLY - Style decisions more closely keyed to the tastes of the Seeker than in a Seeker Sensitive service.

SEEKER SENSITIVE - Anything designed around the tastes of a Seeker but intended to remain acceptable to the non-Seeker.



SEQUENCER - A piece of computer hardware designed to compensate for deficient musicianship

SIN - Not Seeker friendly.



SOUND ENGINEER - The most crucial participant in the worship service.

SPECIAL MUSIC - That portion of the service when an ordinary person, with the help of an Accompaniment Track is momentarily transformed into a Christian artist.

SPIRIT-FILLED - Any style of music or speech which feels good



SPIRIT-LED - Unplanned.

STYLE - there are really only two styles; traditional and contemporary.

SWEET - The most common adjective to describe Jesus.

SYNTHESIZER - A musical instrument suitable for use in a Worship Band with a Christian Artist.



THE WORSHIP - Congregational singing

THEOLOGY - A necessary evil, something like spinach or Pepto Bismol.




TRADITIONAL - All music composed before 1960.

VINEYARD - Where you enter into life in Jesus' name by giving him all your tears and sadness as well as all your years of pain .

VISION STATEMENT - A Seeker Friendly version of the bylaws.




VULNERABILITY - A worship leader's willingness to dip anecdotally into his own experiences, especially those which make him look like a buffoon. Other ways of displaying vulnerability are the closing of eyes, the raising of hands, and the production of tears.

WORD - A brand name.



WORSHIP BAND - Any collection of guitarists, drummers, synthesizer players, and persons holding microphones. All of them wish they were involved with a Christian artist. As a general principle, it is unseemly for anyone over the age of forty-nine to hold a microphone. Other instruments may be used, although the accordion is categorically excluded.



WORSHIP LEADER - A person similar to a Christian Artist but who remains active in a local congregation rather than moving to Los Angeles, Nashville, Waco, or Mobile, in order to become a Christian artist.




WORSHIPFUL - Soft and slow. It is especially worshipful if the words are few and the eyes are closed. Drums should be avoided. Music with more than three chords will not be worshipful.

YOU - With a LARGE case "Y" — God.



Glossary of Church Growth & Contemporary Christian Music Terminology - Leonard Payton