Preculbian PM to Assad: "Stick It In Your Ear"
By NSMBC.COM STAFF
Preculbian PM cool towards Assyrian president, gives "cold shoulder"
TIAKA, PRECULBIA- The Preculbian Prime Minister Kai-Peng Taaren, confirmed reports today that he told Syrian President Bashar Assad to "go stick it in your ear." Assad had approached the Preculbian nation with an offer that if they would cut off all diplomatic ties with Israel, that Syria would sign lucrative contracts with them to allow them to fish off their coast in the Mediterranean Sea.
"We will NOT, under ANY circumstances, abandon our friendship with, nor our agreements with, the Israeli people." Taaren told reporters. " Israel has been our friend for the better part of 50 years, and we will not turn our backs on them for a nebulous set of fishing rights that could evaporate as soon as Iran moves her proxies into position."
Prime Minister Taaren was enjoying lunch at a local McDonalds when he granted an interview to NSMBC reporters.
"Yes" Taaren said, "we know that Syria is a proxy of Iran, and that as soon as we are no longer needed, we would be thrown to the wolves. We will have NO dealings whatsoever with terrorist states, and that includes Syria and any other state that attempts to harm Israel."
Taaren, 164, was elected Prime Minister of Preculbia 30 years ago after his predecessor, Kupis Waaugh, retired to spend more time with her family. Preculbians are descendants from the race Aptenodytes forsteri, and as such posses much of the same characteristics, but with the ability to speak in english as well as a host of other languages. Originating from our own planet, the Preculbians developed space travel and colonized Preculbia, which is about 4 light-years away in the Penguinis solar system. A monarchy in name only, the Preculbian government is headed by "The Great Peng", Pengulus Baratis, whom is the head of the Preculbian Senate, the main governing body of Preculbia.