question

[vmoon]

I need help. As most of you know my husband has cancer. He's on all kinds of medications. Husband doesn't make wise decisions anymore.

He has these really fast mustang cars. I won't let him drive them because his mind isn't as sharp as it was before his illness.

Tuesdays I go to the nursing home and do the ladies hair.
Today husband had a dental appointment in the same town. His helper was supposed to drive him. Well, husband wouldn't let him. I didn't know this because I was at work.

Well, make a long story short. I met up with husband and tried my best to make him ride home with me and I'd go back with someone and get his car. He'd have none of it.

Soooo I tell husband to drive BEHIND me( so that way he couldn't drive too fast.) He'd have none of that either.

My husband drove so fast and went off of the road a number of times. Then he'd over correct and go into the other lane.

I just about had a heart attack!

We finally got home and I let husband have it! I asked him "Do you know how many times you ran off of the road?" He just looked and me and smirked, "No, how many?"

Right now I'm EXTREMELY MAD AT HIM.

What am I going to do? What if he runs over and kills someone?Let alone killing himself?

What do yall think if I just take the keys and hide them? I'll tell him I don't know where they are. Any advice is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

[Theresa]

I'd hide the keys. I guess you have to make the decision whether or not to tell him the truth, but you can't just let him drive. Risking his own life is one thing, but it sounds like he's also putting others at risk.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this on top of his cancer. My prayers are with you.

[vmoon]

I think that's what I'm gonna do.

[SoftTouch]

I'd give the keys to someone else (someone he wouldn't think of) and then tell him the truth... that you've given the keys to someone to hold because he's just not showing good judgement and you don't want him to kill himself or someone else.

You don't want to lie and either way you know he's gonna blow a gasket... at least let it be over the truth ;)

[SoftTouch]

OR (just had another thought) get a safe deposit box that you can keep the keys in that he can not access. You can tell him you put the keys in a safe place, but you don't have to tell him where... and you wouldn't be lying.

[Lynn]

Viva, I'm in full agreement about your need to hide the car keys. . . all car keys, not just the keys to his hobby cars, but any keys that are available to anything else that he might take out on the road.

His judgment is poor for a reason, and it might be medical. A phone call to his Doc would be in order first thing in the morning. The Dr. would definitely want to know about any erratic, risky behavior that has appeared.
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this right now. It must be very hard. 2:

[Ort]

That is a tough road to travel. 2: Prayers, sister. :prayer

[vmoon]

thank you all so much. :prayer

[SoftTouch]

Viva, I'm in full agreement about your need to hide the car keys. . . all car keys, not just the keys to his hobby cars, but any keys that are available to anything else that he might take out on the road.

His judgment is poor for a reason, and it might be medical. A phone call to his Doc would be in order first thing in the morning. The Dr. would definitely want to know about any erratic, risky behavior that has appeared.
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this right now. It must be very hard. 2:

I totally agree

:prayer

[Sing4Him]

Praying for you Viv.. yes, hide the keys. You should also tell them doctor about this behavior, smirky and all.

2:

[sandy]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

his smirking is he like that normally? I thought his meds or the cancer could be affecting his judgement.

please take away the keys. yep he'll blow a gasket but like one said, let it be over the truth, not a lie.

I could have lost 2 of my sons from someones irresponsibity in a car.
looks like they might have got hit head on, as well as these people
animals in the road. please have mercy on others.

to it sounds like he's trying to be normal again. sorry to use that word and hes just not up to it. but that smirking really bothers me cause thats not a laughing matter.

[jacee92]

I'm sorry your going through this and i understand how you feel. It is very hard for someone to give up driving because it's such a show of independence but for his own safety and for the safety of others he cannot be allowed to drive. As my dad's illness progressed he was still driving but it was to the point that he would have me come up to ride with him and the last time he drove we almost hit someone and i told him to let me finish driving but he insisted he was "alright" well needless to say i prayed we would make it and thank the Lord we did but i took my mom into the other room and told her under NO CIRCUMSTANCES would i ever do that again because he was a danger to himself, me , and every innocent person on the road and if i had to go to the dmv myself i would see to it that he never drove again. Thankfully he never did drive again. I will keep you both in my prayers :prayer

[LivnForChrist]

I agree with the others, hide the keys but tell him the truth.

[vmoon]

Thank you all so much.

[Homesick]

I'm so sorry Viva, this has to be nightmare for you. All the pain meds he is on probably would make him inelligible to drive in the first place, talk to his doctor and tell him what is going on. Someone taking as much pain meds as Chris is IMPAIRED, no different than driving drunk, he SHOULD NOT BE ON THE ROAD. If his doctor can't help you go to the DMV or your local police station and tell them the problem. I don't know if Chris is normally like this or it is the pain meds talking but this is serious, he should under no circumstances be behind the wheel of a car. Him getting behind the wheel is no better than the drunk who staggers out of the bar and gets in his car, there is no mental or moral difference. I'm so sorry you are in this position but you must put a stop to this. If he hurts himself that would be terrible, but if he hurts someone else that would be even worse. Not only would he have to bear that guilt but you could end up having to deal with lawsuits etc. Praying for you and your family Viva.2::prayer

[vmoon]

I'm so sorry Viva, this has to be nightmare for you. All the pain meds he is on probably would make him inelligible to drive in the first place, talk to his doctor and tell him what is going on. Someone taking as much pain meds as Chris is IMPAIRED, no different than driving drunk, he SHOULD NOT BE ON THE ROAD. If his doctor can't help you go to the DMV or your local police station and tell them the problem. I don't know if Chris is normally like this or it is the pain meds talking but this is serious, he should under no circumstances be behind the wheel of a car. Him getting behind the wheel is no better than the drunk who staggers out of the bar and gets in his car, there is no mental or moral difference. I'm so sorry you are in this position but you must put a stop to this. If he hurts himself that would be terrible, but if he hurts someone else that would be even worse. Not only would he have to bear that guilt but you could end up having to deal with lawsuits etc. Praying for you and your family Viva.2::prayer

Yes, you are so right. Chris has told his friends that he is no longer able to drive. They LAUGH. what is it with these men? Anyway, I've put off nursing school AGAIN. I can't take the chance.
Anyway he is having major surgery the last of this month and will be in a wheelchair for a while. Thank you for your prayers, We really need them.2:

[WKUHilltopper]

Pull the coil wire and hide it.