Re: A horrible christian!
Like you have already heard, you are actually in a very GREAT place. It's a place of coming to realize you need JESUS for Everything. Christians trying to "live for God" is like taking a fish out of water and asking it to swim....lots of flipping out an flopping around.
Jesus said take my yoke upon you for my yoke is EASY and My burden is light...
Like that fish needing to be put back into the water...we need to be put IN CHRIST and that is what the growing up process reveals to us..we can truly do NOTHING apart from Him
If we try to please him by striving to obey the law in our own strength..we will actually end up in worse sin because the bible teaches us the Law provokes Sin ..revealing a desperate need once again for Our Savior Or the contrary...Legalistic/Controlling Self Righteous "Holier than thou" Ugly living....I hung out there for a season and it was NO FUN
Just take yourself just as you are right to Him, JOYFULLY knowing He is already aware of the deepest parts of you MORE than you are and Is all about getting out of you what ails you not to harm you but to rescue you from future pain(s) of self destruction because Not only Has He saved You to Heaven and from Hell, He saved You to Him and away from Self....from which think of you standing on a diving board and diving into an ocean of Grace (In Christ)
"deep calling unto deep" DIVE IN
Romans 13:11 This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 12 The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here.