A horrible christian!

[2010&Saved]

When I first became saved 3 years ago, I felt amazing peace for a year or 2. I now have reverted to some of my old ways, and the peace is gone. I do the things I know I should not, and now the guilt is stronger than ever before. I know I should not do what I do. I do not appear godly and have become nasty and I don't ever feel like praying and I don't go to church. I am a horrible christian.

[daygo]

From what you have said I can only encourage you by, 1/ when you become a christian there is whats widely called the honeymoon period, 2/ everyone feels at some point as you do. 3/ please go to church and be prayed over and 4/ do not be discouraged, read your bible and pray yourself, you will be surprised. I do urge you though to talk to a mature christian straight away.

[Suzanne]

I think a good description of faith is to believe, pray, attend church, and read your Bible, even when you don't feel very Christian. It isn't that Christians don't sin, or don't go through times when belief comes hard, but it's important to continue doing all the things that you would normally do to please God. We will have our human nature until we are with the Lord at the rapture. You might try counting your blessings, because it's amazing how many things that God has given us that we take for granted. God bless you, and keep coming on RF. There are so many people here who care for you and want to be of help.

[JC1949]

When I first became saved 3 years ago, I felt amazing peace for a year or 2. I now have reverted to some of my old ways, and the peace is gone. I do the things I know I should not, and now the guilt is stronger than ever before. I know I should not do what I do. I do not appear godly and have become nasty and I don't ever feel like praying and I don't go to church. I am a horrible christian.

If you say you are an "horrible christian",you are in a very good place.....why? because JESUS can help you out of that condition..in fact He has already,ALREADY,helped you out because for Him you are not horrible at all......because if you are in CHRIST in HIM you are washed,sanctified and justified...
may be,without offending you,you have fallen in a trap of the enemy,and you are ignorant of WHO the Lord is,what He has done and how He sees you....
Whatever you are doing,sinning I mean,has already been paid for by Jesus....so,have a look at HIM and ask Him to help you understand THE CROSS,and instead of going around beating yourself to defeat,you will find power in the cross....
and the mighty deliverance that our Lord has provided for us all....

whatever your actual condition,DO NOT DESPAIR and DO NOT entreat defeat rather just CRY OUT ...yes CRY OUT to THE LORD...He will carry you thru this ordeal and restore the joy of salvation...

ALL Christians ( I mean BORN AGAIN believers in JESUS ) still sin,in a way or another...sinless perfection is impossible this side of eternity.....please read Romans 7 and see what Paul the Apostle was going through daily and how HE found at the end of that chapter the victory in Christ...

www.Gracethrufaith.com can be a good website that can help you in finding answers to your questions as well www.gotquestions.org

Take courage...TRUST IN JESUS HE will see you trough...

[king'sbloomingrose]

Oh how I went thru that cycle for many a long time as a child until I learned to abide in Christ. It was so miserable! You need to get right back into God's Word ASAP. Read it even if you don't want to. Often if I don't want to read it, then I'll force myself to read several chapters at a time until I get my appetite for it back. Once I get beyond the first chapter I find that I enjoy it again. Then, pray! Pray to God about everything that goes on in your life. He will guide you and show you what you need to do. Take all your burdens to Him, even if you don't feel like praying. Do it anyway. Just tell him what the current problem is right now. Hope that helps.

[Carl]

Remember after Christ was out of the lives of the Apostles some of them went back to fishing (the old ways).

14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.
15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. Romans 7:14-25 (KJV)

This is Paul talking after a few years with Christ. We all have struggles with sin. It is difficult to get rid of the old man. It won't really happen until we are in Heaven. So down here we are going to struggle. Deal with one sin and you will find another that seems just as bad! That means that your spirit is getting more sensitive to sin!

Even after you get your BSD back side of the desert degree you will find that you have been enrolled in refresher courses!

When I first accepted Christ I was just so different. Then the honeymoon period ended just like daygo said. Then I discovered that I shouldn't really get drunk every night. A three year struggle ensued before I submitted to Christ and accepted His plan to stop drinking. His plan was for me to go to a treatment center and to submit to others who had already quit drinking. Now I am going through a big struggle with my temper. The struggle is really WHO IS IN CHARGE?

[Meg]

Hi 2010, I strongly agree with Daygo and Kingsbloomingrose. What you are going through is an important phase where the Lord considers you strong enough to start working into your faith. This is a season in which you are being asked to choose freely and choose deeply, which means it is time to dig deep into your Bible and develop your prayer life and walk with the Lord. No matter what you seem to feel, don't let that stop you or discourage you. The Lord is indeed with you, and He is asking you to learn to stand on your own 2 feet without quite so much support. The fact that you recognize that you're in trouble and are resisting the temptations and discouragement is actually a good sign! This is a normal phase that we all go through, so be encouraged to hang onto what you do have and remain in the Word, prayer and faith. God bless you deeply. We will add you to our prayer list as well.

[soundingthealarm]

Like you have already heard, you are actually in a very GREAT place. It's a place of coming to realize you need JESUS for Everything. Christians trying to "live for God" is like taking a fish out of water and asking it to swim....lots of flipping out an flopping around.

Jesus said take my yoke upon you for my yoke is EASY and My burden is light...

In Christ

Like that fish needing to be put back into the water...we need to be put IN CHRIST and that is what the growing up process reveals to us..we can truly do NOTHING apart from Him

If we try to please him by striving to obey the law in our own strength..we will actually end up in worse sin because the bible teaches us the Law provokes Sin ..revealing a desperate need once again for Our Savior Or the contrary...Legalistic/Controlling Self Righteous "Holier than thou" Ugly living....I hung out there for a season and it was NO FUN

Just take yourself just as you are right to Him, JOYFULLY knowing He is already aware of the deepest parts of you MORE than you are and Is all about getting out of you what ails you not to harm you but to rescue you from future pain(s) of self destruction because Not only Has He saved You to Heaven and from Hell, He saved You to Him and away from Self....from which think of you standing on a diving board and diving into an ocean of Grace (In Christ)

"deep calling unto deep" DIVE IN

[Kist]

Some very sound advice from our dear siblings here. My experience is rather the same as those mentioned above. I would also add that, when you start getting through this phase, you'll experience a far deeper bond with Him than you have before. I'm still sort of in this phase you are in, saved two years ago myself, but it's getting better, and I feel much closer to Him than I did even in the honeymoon period. I am much more equiped to fight for His cause, or better said, I'm much better at letting Him work through me, and I even find myself much more eager to do so. Trust in Him, lean on Him, and this period, will just be one of the learning periods of your walk.

[mattfivefour]

You have received sound advice here, 2010&saved! May I ask if you are in a good local assembly now? Do you have a good pastor? Is there near you a good Christian example, at least? If you would prefer to answer me by PM (I understand it can be difficult to talk about some things openly), I will do what I can to help you move toward victory. God definitely wants you to have that victory and He has provided everything necessary for it. And He put the various members in His Church to help one another in that regard.

[LivnForChrist]

Great advice given already so I will simply say this, we still love you. I'm praying for you.

[nillapoet]

Hi 2010, I strongly agree with Daygo and Kingsbloomingrose. What you are going through is an important phase where the Lord considers you strong enough to start working into your faith. This is a season in which you are being asked to choose freely and choose deeply, which means it is time to dig deep into your Bible and develop your prayer life and walk with the Lord. No matter what you seem to feel, don't let that stop you or discourage you. The Lord is indeed with you, and He is asking you to learn to stand on your own 2 feet without quite so much support. The fact that you recognize that you're in trouble and are resisting the temptations and discouragement is actually a good sign! This is a normal phase that we all go through, so be encouraged to hang onto what you do have and remain in the Word, prayer and faith. God bless you deeply. We will add you to our prayer list as well.

I just wanted to say that I needed this as well right now. A couple months ago it was like God wouldn't stop talking to me. Now it's quiet and I've been thinking, "Well where'd you go?" Thanks for the encouragement, even if you didn't mean it for me. :)`

[Kathy_57]

2010&Saved - I would encourage you to not be discouraged. Remember the Lord knows exactly where you are at right now and loves you with an everlasting love. AS a believer in Christ, the influence of the world, and the devil are going to war against your Christian life. The flesh will fight against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh, and there will be constant conflict. The only time we will ever have perfect peace is when we are totally committed and yielded to Christ in every area of our lives. The devil would love nothing more than to torment you right now and plants those seeds of being a "horrible Christian" in your mind. In Christ, the victory is ours.

As others have suggested, start by picking up your Bible and get back into reading the Word......If you are not attending a Bible believing church, I would encourage you to find a local church where you can go to be fed and also be encouraged by the body of Christ. So many churches have small group studies where you can get connected with others to help encourage you in your walk with the Lord. One day at a time!

Many of us have been exactly where you are today

" I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth - praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord" Psalm 40:1-3

"...that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God" Ephesians 3:17-19

Trust in God for daily victory

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us" Romans 8:37

[Robert]

When I first became saved 3 years ago, I felt amazing peace for a year or 2. I now have reverted to some of my old ways, and the peace is gone. I do the things I know I should not, and now the guilt is stronger than ever before. I know I should not do what I do. I do not appear godly and have become nasty and I don't ever feel like praying and I don't go to church. I am a horrible christian.

First off: you're NOT horrible. Kathy57 is right that Satan is trying to plant seeds in your mind over this. Ol' Splithoof does NOT play fair, and what he will do is to try to wear us down bit by bit. First comes the attacks prayer and the Word: by cutting off our communications with the Lord, Satan attempts to isolate us. At that point, we are weakened and feel we have to bear the burden ourselves. That's when temptation gets poured onto us, and in our own strength, we break.

I also agree with Meg , KBR and Daygo that you are in a phase where the Lord deems you strong enough to "work into your faith." Yes, Satan is trying to break you down, but the Lord is using this to build faith in Him. By allowing you to choose (and yes, make mistakes), your faith will be tested and refined to where you will trust the Lord even moreso. This is how believers mature and grow in the Lord; for a while, the Lord walks very close with you, then He backs away a bit and allows you to "get your legs under you". We learn not to rely merely on feelings, but on the Word of God in scripture and to rely on prayer to bring our burdens to Him. That you recognize the trouble you are in, as Meg has said, is a good sign.

A word about prayer: pray especially when you don't feel like it!!! It doesn't have to be full of "thees" and "thous"; just be honest but polite with the Lord. Let Him know how you feel and what you think. Don't be afraid to ask Him questions; as my better half says: "Jesus has His own thoughts and ideas"and He's fully capable of expressing them in His Word! But we need to keep the "line of communication" open between us and the Lord, and not fall into the habit of reading God a "shopping list".

Finally: when we fall on our faces and sin, Satan is counting on shame and guilt to keep us from going to the Lord. Instead, when we sin, the Lord is the first one to run to! He's not going to throw a fit, scream at us and toss lightning bolts at us; instead, He's patient with us and has mercy and grace waiting for us when we are humble and confess our sin to Him. When we seek to forsake our sin and seek His face, He is gracious to forgive and wants to restore us lovingly.

Aside from this, I think everything that could be said has already been said by our fellow brethren in Christ. 2010&Saved; it's never too late to go to the Lord and bring all of this to Him in prayer. Tell Him how you feel and what is in your heart.


He'll listen. :)

[Bobbi]

Hi 2010, I strongly agree with Daygo and Kingsbloomingrose. What you are going through is an important phase where the Lord considers you strong enough to start working into your faith. This is a season in which you are being asked to choose freely and choose deeply, which means it is time to dig deep into your Bible and develop your prayer life and walk with the Lord. No matter what you seem to feel, don't let that stop you or discourage you. The Lord is indeed with you, and He is asking you to learn to stand on your own 2 feet without quite so much support. The fact that you recognize that you're in trouble and are resisting the temptations and discouragement is actually a good sign! This is a normal phase that we all go through, so be encouraged to hang onto what you do have and remain in the Word, prayer and faith. God bless you deeply. We will add you to our prayer list as well.

I also agree with Meg , KBR and Daygo that you are in a phase where the Lord deems you strong enough to "work into your faith." Yes, Satan is trying to break you down, but the Lord is using this to build faith in Him. By allowing you to choose (and yes, make mistakes), your faith will be tested and refined to where you will trust the Lord even moreso. This is how believers mature and grow in the Lord; for a while, the Lord walks very close with you, then He backs away a bit and allows you to "get your legs under you". We learn not to rely merely on feelings, but on the Word of God in scripture and to rely on prayer to bring our burdens to Him. That you recognize the trouble you are in, as Meg has said, is a good sign.


Exactly where are you getting this? Do you have a Bible verse where this is located?

[Meg]

I just wanted to say that I needed this as well right now. A couple months ago it was like God wouldn't stop talking to me. Now it's quiet and I've been thinking, "Well where'd you go?" Thanks for the encouragement, even if you didn't mean it for me. :)`

Oh Nillapoet, I remember that feeling so well! It was really strong (in a "not there" sort of way) in 2006! Scared me half out of my mind too!! I KNEW the Holy Spirit hadn't left me, but most of the time I couldn't sense Him at all, and I had to walk by raw faith in God's own faithfulness alone. That is a season to hang on tight, because it will pass, I promise it will (if it already hasn't). God bless you deeply, brother, thank you so much for sharing your own testimony! The more people willing to admit these things happen to them too, the more clear it becomes what is really normal, as many people put on a front when their unsure of themselves!